It's been a week now and the working from home routine is already wearing thin: wake up as late you can get away with, reluctantly prize open the laptop, answer a few cursory messages to "prove" you're working, consume snacks endlessly despite there being a food shortage, pop a hoodie on for a scheduled 4pm Zoom call etc. etc. etc.
This might be what real life looks now, but that doesn't mean you can't make a few improvements. This is our (very) rough five step guide to making WFH more bearable - and productive!
1. Free yourself from distractions with the Mobile Phone Jail Cell - £6.99
Normally there'd be a judgemental tut from the colleague sat next to you or the fear of a boss catching you in the act. Now there's nothingstopping you from spiralling into an Instagram scroll fest. Procrastination is unavoidable, self-discipline is futile – you need to lock up your phone. It's the only way. And if the mere idea of this is making you squirm a little, you've already proved you have a problem!
2. Boss your Zoom conference calls with 100 Tricks To Appear Smart In Meetings - £9.99
Meetings are about to get even worse. Without each others physical presence we've all been reduced to stuttering, pixelated fools. What you need are some tried and tested techniques and soundbites to help get you through. With this book at your disposal your colleagues will genuinely think you're paying attention! "Let's take a step back for a minute", "Are we asking the right questions?" Classic stuff.
3. Prop up your energy levels with F*cking Strong Coffee - £9.99
Bet you never thought you'd miss the office coffee machine. The coffee was abominable but at least it was a free and easy way to get your fix. Now the cafes are closing up – how are you going to get that daily caffeine blast to help you get stuff done? Nab a few bags of our F*cking Strong Coffee, that's how. It's f*cking delicious and (as the label subtly suggests) really quite potent, so you can ration it out over the next few months.
4. Preserve your dignity with the Privacy Webcam Cover - £8.99
A couple of weeks from now things are going to get very surreal indeed. Boundaries of work and home are going to blur into one, standards are going to slip... and you are eventually going to forget that your webcam is still running. Avoid the inevitable with these slimline stick-on covers. Better safe than sorry!
5. Stay motivated with Alcoholic Cocktail Gummies - £14.99
There's a good reason someone's always bringing an armful of sweets or a box of doughnuts into work. Sweet, sweet motivation. These boozy gummy morsels are the perfect reward for finally sending that important email, okay starting that important email, okay getting washed and dressed before midday... you can set your own goals.
Right, that's yer lot. For even more ways to make WFH more bearable, come this way. #SpreadJoyNotGerms