What are you doing here? It's Christmas Bloody Day!
Go and eat another fistful of Celebrations/roast potatoes.
Okay, fair enough - there's only so much time you can spend doing Christmassy stuff with your extended family before you need a little escape.
While you're here we'd like to take this opportunity to thank you for shopping with us.
Right now, all around the world - people are tearing into Mystery Boxes, hugging Mushions, sipping on Unicorn Tears Gin... and staring curiously at a tray of chocolate anuses. And it's all thanks to you!
In short, you're amazing at giving presents and we wish we had more mates like you.
Happy Christmas from everyone at Firebox. See you in 2019. X