Your Guide To Working Out With Pierre The Penis

There’s a new member at the gym.

Say hello to your new favourite workout buddy, Pierre the Penis.

Stop cluelessly picking around by the weights and go hard. Whether you’re a grow-er or a show-er, a few reps of these moves will have you beating your PB faster than you can say ‘hypertrophic phallus’. Forget headlights and knob let squats, pumping it like THIS is the key to being swole - just remember not to skip third-leg day.

1. The Clean-And-Jerk

2. Go Hard Or Go Home

3. Never Skip Third Leg Day

4. Try Not To Cock It Up

5. Genitally Does It

6. Twist That Stiffness Away

P.S. Fancy getting your hands on your very own Pierre? You can! Prepare to get buff.