Stressticles

These are Stressticles. Stress Testicles. A lovely rubberised sack of balls to grab and manipulate to ease your anxious mind.

And they're therapeutic for both men and women!

For women:
When the moment strikes, just give these balls a pulverising squeeze and know that if this was real life, the owner of the testicles would be paralysed with fear and pain, dry-heaving and wishing for a swift death. What a calming thought.

For men:
Stop playing trouser billiards like a mucky little ape! It might feel wonderfully relaxing but it's horrific to watch. Keep your hands off your – in all probability – unwashed balls and relieve yourself with this rubber prosthesis instead.*

*although don't stop checking them for lumps n' that. Maybe do it in the shower.