Controversial Gifts
This collection of funny visual puzzles has your keys hidden in a range of everyday and not-so-everyday environments. The perfect gift for anyone who’s always misplacing their keys...which is pretty much everyone, right? This search-and-find adventure will have you frantically flipping through page after page looking for those elusive keys. But be warned, if you're prone to forgetfulness, you might just misplace the book itself. Just remember to check under the sofa cushions, in the fridge, and in every handbag you own before you give up hope. Who knows, you might just find your keys and a few other things you've been missing along the way!
The day farts stop being funny is the day we can wrap up human civilisation and let another species like dolphins have a go.
With that in mind, this Fart Sound Box is guaranteed to bring joy into the life of anyone with a sense of humour. It includes 12 classic fart sounds, from the cheeky Squeaker to the rapid-fire Machine Gun.
So go ahead - sneak up on your grandad and let one rip!
Want to get yourself clean, have a good meal and do whatever you feel?
Well, you’ll have to sort out your own meal (try the YMCA - it’s fun to stay there apparently), but we can offer you this fabulous rose-scented bar of soap with GAY BAR on it.
Not only will the soap make you smell lovely in no time, it’s also guaranteed to make you smile (or groan) every time you reach for it.
Imagine the surprise on your friend/lover/mother’s face when you announce that you’ve bought them a butt plug. Then, they unwrap what they think is a naughty gift, only to let out a massive groan, because what you’ve actually given them is a bum -shaped sink plug.
But once the lameness of your punny present sinks in, they’ll soon realise what a practical gift it is - the (rear) end to their leaky sink problems!
Calling all pub quiz factfiles, prepare for the ultimate battle of brains and nerves with The Shocking Truth. Players must answer the questions correctly to win the game and avoid getting a cattle prod to the finger. Not for the faint (or pacemaker) hearted, The Shocking Truth will definitely amp up your next games night to the next level.
He’s no use when he’s all floppy, so fill him up with hot water before getting tucked up. Pro-tip: Tuck him down your pants to experience the thrill of having your very own obscenely large, hot dick.
He’s not just for show, it turns out the humble penis is the perfect shape for a hot water bottle, distributing that lovely warmth sideways through the balls and lengthwise through the shaft. Mmm, cosy.
Just try to ignore his weird little face and be thankful that real penises don’t have them. Mind you, if you were with a man who had a schlong that big, its little grin would be the least of your problems...
We've all flipped the bird or a cheeky V, and most of the time that's all the situation requires – a mad moment of road rage, a useless co-worker leaving the room etc.
But if you yearn to expand your gesticular vocabulary, you need to get your hands on How To Swear In Sign Language.
This handy set of cue cards introduces 100 vulgar hand gestures; each one comes with simple illustrated instructions so you'll be signing Shit for Brains, Eat a Dick, Fuck Face and Cock-topus in no time.
Naked Ramblers are way ahead of the curve, one day we'll all be doing it.
For now, you can dress up your houseplants with this cheeky set of free-loving explorers – a butt-naked reminder to get closer to nature. Oh and to make sure you do some occasional pruning.
There are no two ways about it – this mug is covered with hundreds of micro penises. An inspired design that casually treads the fine line between subtle abstract masterpiece and horrendous phallic overload. Is it just us or does it have a bit of a Scandi vibe going on?
Best not to overthink it – it's a cup of dicks!
The Cat Butt Colouring and Activity Book pays homage to these delicate derrieres, with 45 line drawings of pert cat booties winking you in the face. Enjoy colouring in lasers shooting from an intergalactic cat butt, a chill skater cat that isn't ashamed to hold his tail a little too high, and more!
With an additional 25 games to play, this adult activity book is a veritable feline frenzy that every cat lover can get behind.
Draw a card and you’ll find a series of incomprehensible words - e.g. ‘though wok calves aim’. Say it. It sounds like ‘the walk of shame’! Don’t worry if you couldn’t work it out though, it’s written on the back of the card. Mind you, that doesn’t bode well for your performance in-game. You’ll have to tune your ears to ‘gibberish’.
With 500 cards and 3 categories to play through, you'll be mishearing stuff for years to come. It’s extremely fun, it’s exceptionally irritating, and it’s a portable game anyone can play. What more could you want?!
Snuggle up with Pierre and rest your head on his lovely soft shaft - or keep him on your desk to make your colleagues INSTANTLY contact HR to voice their concerns. Treat yourself to this adorable addition to your plush collection - because you’re girth it.
Please note: this is not an accurate to scale version of a human penis. Thank god.
Set-up is simple and fast. Load the capacious cum-containers with whatever you want to spatter the lucky loser with. Spin the dial on the left ball to find out how many pumps you’ve got until touchdown. Do the same with the dial on the right ball to find out where you have to aim it, then pump away!
It’s basically raunchy Buckaroo, but instead of having loads of annoying plastic accessories to pick up off the floor, you just have to get stuck into a packet of wet wipes.
While no alcohol is necessary to have a ton of cheeky fun with Jizz: The Game, you can quadruple the banter by turning it into a drinking game. Take a shot every time your slutty mate takes a load to the face. Hilarious!
Or switch up your substance of choice for even more wacky ejaculation! Pour in glittery gin for a bougie blowjob, orange squash for a kinky sprinkle, or add flour and egg for the ultimate bu-cakey experience.
It’s a bit naughty, but you can handle it. Cum on, don’t be a wanker, it’s only some jizz!
Filled with 20 stirring scratch n' sniff scent pads, this chunky cardboard book explores the rich history and evolution of this wondrous drug. Covering all topics from the science behind the munchies (it's very real), the botanical link between beer and weed, and why smoking cannabis makes Pink Floyd sound so damned good.
Entertaining, informative (did you know you could nibble or sniff peppercorns to reduce the paranoia? Incredible.) and beautifully-illustrated — it's the perfect gift for total pot heads or those with just a little cannabis curiosity.
How To Live With A Huge Penis explores and allays the daily struggles of this genetic marvel, with chapters covering all of the major issues including:
- Unzipping: Coming Out to Your Friends and Family
- Care and Maintenance of Your Huge Penis
- Sharing Your Pain: Sexual Intercourse with a Huge Penis
- Dealing with Discrimination
- Big Blessings: Unexpected Advantages of a Huge Penis
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