Shots! Shots! Shots!
We make Unicorns cry.
And that's not all.
We love surprises.
We don’t take life too seriously.
We didn't know how to end this About Us page…
So we thought we'd shoot the breeze with you for a bit
Just keep on scrolling
We're very personable
Seriously we can go all day
Make yourself comfortable
Get a drink
Or some knitting
Charge up your vaping pipe
Let the good times scroll
It’s good for the fingers, this
Make sure you switch it up a bit though
Give each of them a good go
Keep those repetitive strain injuries at bay
When was the last time you scrolled with your little finger?
Go on, try it
Pretty good eh?
You can also scroll with the tip of your nose
And your nipples
Probably most areas of the body with a nice little ‘nubbin’
Does this pass the Turing test?
You're the one scrolling away like a diligent little robot
If you have free will, stop scrolling immediately
Are you expecting a secret voucher or something?
Perhaps if you scroll for long enough...
Or is there?
There really isn’t
We already told you
We really didn’t know how to end this page…
Maybe we should have just stuck to the classic ‘About Us’ format
One massive cheesy photo of us all
Perhaps a cheeky bio for each Fireboxer
So you can get to know us a little better
Find out that the Head Copywriter loves rugby and listening to Kula Shaker
Yeah, best not
This is eeeasily more interesting
Our emotional connection getting stronger with every scroll
They see me scrollin', they hatin'
Keep scrollin' scrollin' scrollin'
We could have had it alllllll
Scrolling in the deeeep
Very 'one way' this conversation 'intit?
Bit weird now
Wonder how many people even reach this point?
Follow the white rabbit.