Whether it’s for home cooking or big garden parties, this Personalised Face Cooking Apron will lighten the mood when you inevitably overcook the steaks. You can add any face you like from your own to your giftee’s celeb crush, just upload the pic and we’ll take care of the rest!
Complete with three different mini-LPs, this turntable is truly teeny, tiny, and bags of fun. Just slot one of the ‘records’ onto the pin and give it a spin to hear 70s funk, classic rock, or a bit of good ol’ fashioned jazz.
But the fun doesn’t stop there - you can even customise it using the included stickers or swot up on your music history with the included 32 page book of fun facts about the best records of all time.
It’s even better than a real record player! Certainly cheaper, anyway.
Thanks to the revolutionary polymer compound that its made from, this advanced silicone material grips everything from iPads to Sat Navs. Just slap it on your dashboard, desk or wall and place your items on top. As if by magic, your possessions will defy the forces of nature and be held in place – it's an incredibly satisfying miracle of modern science to behold.
Resistant to water, high temperatures and sunlight, it’s perfectly at home wherever you choose to put it. And it never needs replenishing either – when the stickiness begins to wear off, just wipe it with a damp towel and it’ll be as good as new. We're pretty sure that this doesn't apply to geckos though.
That's a short excerpt from a typical round of F**K The Game – the party card game that combines colours and swear words with good old-fashioned psychological mind-f*ckery.
Here's how to play:
Players take turns to flip over a card and yell out what they see. Depending on the nature of the card, you might have to say the background colour, the text colour or a swear word. You keep turning cards over and shouting until someone f*cks up and picks up the pile. The winner is the first player to get rid of all their cards.
It sounds relatively straightforward, but the cards employ a psychological phenomenon known as the 'Stroop effect'. In short, it massively messes with your head and slows down your brain's responses. No matter how quick-witted you think you are, this game will catch you out.
There are three extended instructions cards so once you’ve mastered the basics you can take the game to the next level by introducing a whole host of new rules – you can even create your own.
Stash this cosy little llama in your pockets and you’ll never have cold fingers again. It’s like hiding your fingers in the crimped-looking fur of a real one, high up in the Andes with only a poncho to keep the rest of you warm. Not that that’s anything other than a mad stereotype.
Simply microwave him before you head out and he’ll keep your fingers functional better than a pair of gloves. Give him a squeeze when you feel the frost encroaching and you’ll never be numb-handed again!
Imagine the surprise on your friend/lover/mother’s face when you announce that you’ve bought them a butt plug. Then, they unwrap what they think is a naughty gift, only to let out a massive groan, because what you’ve actually given them is a bum -shaped sink plug.
But once the lameness of your punny present sinks in, they’ll soon realise what a practical gift it is - the (rear) end to their leaky sink problems!
There’s no doubts about it, this bit of kit is gonna be your new best friend. The iDream Smart Eye Massager is designed to apply calming pressure and soothing heat to help alleviate the strain caused by excessive screen time and not enough sleep. And, unlike an actual (selfish) masseuse, it doesn’t need breaks or food. By encouraging blood circulation and blood vessel dilation, iDream can even help reduce dark circles, puffiness and dry eyes. It’s also got bluetooth so you can have your own tunes delivered straight to your ears to help you relax.
Dirty door handles, bacteria-ridden buttons, crusty cash machines, mucky mobile screens – Germs. Are. Bloody. Everywhere.
It's inevitable we'll come into contact with them at some point. And then we'll touch our phone, or our face, or someone else's face. And the next thing you know the whole neighbourhood is coming down with a nasty cold.
Well not any more! Thanks to No Hands – the Non-Contact Hygiene Keyring made from antimicrobial copper.
And not just some cheap copper coating that'll scratch off in a matter of weeks, but pure solid copper that naturally kills microbes, bacteria and viruses within a few hours on contact. Gooo science!
Never mind keyring bottle openers, how about door openers? This neat little device is a germaphobe's dream – with an ergonomic hook to operate doors and handles, and a rubberised precision tip for pressing buttons and using your smartphone.
Always forgetting to go out with a bottle of hand sanitiser? No problem. This little guy slips comfortably onto your keyring so you can keep it with you at all times!
The aptly named ISAKOK Japanese incense sticks are a lie. Inside this cylinder is in fact a 2 and a half foot penis projectile, complete with hairy balls, that will launch itself into the face of anyone who releases it. The Cock Cannon prank gift is the perfect addition to hen parties, birthdays, or even Valentine’s Day (if you’re brave enough).