Defrost your frozen fingers with these practical (and adorable) Heart Hand Warmers. Also makes a great gift for that one person in your life who’s always cold.
Stash this cosy little llama in your pockets and you’ll never have cold fingers again. It’s like hiding your fingers in the crimped-looking fur of a real one, high up in the Andes with only a poncho to keep the rest of you warm. Not that that’s anything other than a mad stereotype.
Simply microwave him before you head out and he’ll keep your fingers functional better than a pair of gloves. Give him a squeeze when you feel the frost encroaching and you’ll never be numb-handed again!
With a tempting ‘Drink Me’ lovingly printed on each and every ball, these baubles are waiting to be filled with whatever spirit you want. Simply unscrew the secure lid, pour in any drink you like, screw the lid back on… and you’re done!
Absolutely perfect for parties, stockings, and getting Nan wasted on sherry before the Queen’s speech.
PRO TIP: Try to hang ‘em on the higher up branches so that any wayward children don’t drink the magic Christmas liquid. The festive period is stressful enough without tipsy kids. Or a very sad trip to A&E.
BONUS POINTS: Make your tipple of choice Mythical Tears, you’ll have the sparkliest tree in town ✨
Mr Razor the Razor Holder uses a clever suction cup to stick securely to your bathroom tiles or mirror, giving you the perfect place to stow your shaving device.
Raising your razor off the sink or window sill (don't pretend yours isn't sitting there right now) keeps your blades clean from dirt and safely out of reach from a curious kid's hands.
Mr Razor also serves as a daily motivation to keep your facial hair in check, maybe one day you'll grow a moustache as powerful as his!
And what better receptacle for those mighty leaves than this adorable little fella? Aside from looking like a cute little cat, this teacup hides a teapot inside. Simply decant a measure of your favourite loose leaf tea inside the sweet little fish-shaped strainer, add your water and you're ready to go!
You could even pop a tea bag in there if you aren’t about the loose leaf life. Either way, you’ll be treating yourself to a perfectly steeped cuppa for once, instead of making do with a quick bash around with a spoon after letting the tea infuse for a paltry half minute. Or leaving the tea bag in and letting it attack your face when you drink. Or, please not this, just putting the leaves into the water so you have to drink them down. You animal.
Let's look at the options...
- Spend 10 minutes scraping around the sink and still not getting all of the hairs?
- Trim your beard over the bathroom floor and (maybe) hoover it up later?
- Shave on the edge of the toilet with a bin between your legs?
- Pop down to the local park with a pocket mirror?
Slip on The Beard Buddy and put an end to this madness. This giant bib straps comfortably around your neck while the two suction cups attach to the mirror, creating a large safety net to catch your fallen trimmings.
If you're interrupted mid-shave; simply untie the neck straps, hook them onto the levers on the back of the suction cups and your bristles will remain safely in the bib until you return. Once you're finished just gather the bib together and empty it carefully into the bin.
Whether you're a regular beard shaver yourself or you know someone with particularly untidy grooming habits; for the sake of bathroom surfaces everywhere, buy The Beard Buddy. As the creators of this life-changing product say – with great facial hair comes great responsibility.
There are no two ways about it – this mug is covered with hundreds of micro penises. An inspired design that casually treads the fine line between subtle abstract masterpiece and horrendous phallic overload. Is it just us or does it have a bit of a Scandi vibe going on?
Best not to overthink it – it's a cup of dicks!
But Count Gracula is different. Not only is he exceedingly cute for a vampire, but this little guy just can't get enough of the pungent stuff. Simply slip a couple of cloves into his caped body, give his head a twist (exorcist-stylee) and he'll pulverise your garlic to perfection. No more chasing cloves around the chopping board or ending up with stinky garlic fingers!
Best of all, unlike your typical clogged-up crusher, Count Gracula is dead easy to rinse out and keep clean. Terrible puns aside, he truly is a fang-tastic kitchen accessory!
It’s been 25 years since Friends first aired and our lips have been through a lot since then. This Friends Lip Balm Trio will help to moisturise your kisser whilst reminding you of better days.
If you like your coffee strong (f*cking strong no less), then what else do you really need to know? Packed and roasted at our London roastery, this powerful brew is a complex and dark-roasted blend of Brazilian and Honduran Arabica Coffee. Full-bodied and f*cking flavoursome, with powerful notes of dark treacle, cocoa and liquorice, complimented by a dense syrupy body.
Stop poisoning your body with unfulfilling freeze-dried rubbish and don't settle for whimpering brands that are afraid to give you what you really want, nay NEED. Make yourself a hot cup of F*cking Strong Coffee and kick-start your day with a potent dose of delicious caffeine-laden euphoria.
He’s no use when he’s all floppy, so fill him up with hot water before getting tucked up. Pro-tip: Tuck him down your pants to experience the thrill of having your very own obscenely large, hot dick.
He’s not just for show, it turns out the humble penis is the perfect shape for a hot water bottle, distributing that lovely warmth sideways through the balls and lengthwise through the shaft. Mmm, cosy.
Just try to ignore his weird little face and be thankful that real penises don’t have them. Mind you, if you were with a man who had a schlong that big, its little grin would be the least of your problems...
Whether you're savouring the sunset on your patio, hosting a rooftop soirée, or simply dreaming of a sun-kissed Italian vacation, your personalised Aperol Spritz logo glass will induce some serious cocktail envy.
Simply personalise the glass with a name of your choice and prepare for a Spritz-filled summer.
Complete with three different mini-LPs, this turntable is truly teeny, tiny, and bags of fun. Just slot one of the ‘records’ onto the pin and give it a spin to hear 70s funk, classic rock, or a bit of good ol’ fashioned jazz.
But the fun doesn’t stop there - you can even customise it using the included stickers or swot up on your music history with the included 32 page book of fun facts about the best records of all time.
It’s even better than a real record player! Certainly cheaper, anyway.
Why drink out of something that doesn’t have your face on it when you could be drinking out of something that does have your face on it? Or, even better, your mate’s face on it! Or your dog’s face? We’re not fussy.
No matter who you’ve got in mind, we’ll slap their face on a mug for you - an extra fancy heat change mug that makes their glorious image appear when you add hot water. Can any of your other mugs make your dad appear out of thin air? Didn’t think so.
Simply upload your picture and our magic tool will show you what the finished product will look like. Then, sit back, have a cuppa in one of your inferior mugs, and wait for your stunning new facey one to arrive.
This ingenious floating gizmo projects several seriously psychedelic multicoloured light sequences onto the bottom and sides of the bath. It's truly hypnotic, especially as the pulsating effects are distorted by the water in the tub. Put on some suitably upbeat music, dim the main light and strike that classic legs apart, arm in the air pose and you could be in Studio 54, albeit nude and soaked in hot water. Not such a bad thing in our book.
Battery-operated and water resistant, the Underwater Disco Lightshow features a button that changes the patterns (some subdued, some dynamic), so you can alter the mood in an instant. What's more its curvaceous shape causes the lights to reach out to every corner of the bath. If you're feeling really decadent you could even plop this plastic doodah in your pool, pond or hot tub. Water based shenanigans will never be the same again.
The Underwater Disco Lightshow has been a real hit here at Firebox HQ. In fact we're standing here wrapped in towels having just emerged from our communal bath/disco. Invigorating? We spent the whole multicoloured soak thinking up water-based disco classics to shoehorn into this description. Sadly we could only come up with Car Splosh, Heaven Must Be Missing A Plughole and a few tunes by Splashford and Simpson. Suggestions welcome.
Whether you're chilling out or getting ready for a night on the tiles (no, not the bathroom tiles), this incredible device is guaranteed to add a mesmerising kaleidoscope of light to bathtime. So don't just sit in the tub twiddling your pruning thumbs; order an Underwater Disco Lightshow and Blame it on the Bathtub!
Cock-based confectionary at its absolute finest, these miniature members are willy delicious and the perfect mouthful for snacking on or sharing with your mates.
Made from 4x heat-treated steel, it's a worthy instrument ready to be wielded by the ultimate Shinobi warrior. The well-chosen tools included are hex wrenches, a can opener/fruit peeler, bottle opener, ruler, letter opener, box opener, phone stand and a screw driver.
A sleek and agile master of stealth. You'll hardly know it's there lurking silently in the shadows of your wallet, waiting to emerge when you need it most.
That's a short excerpt from a typical round of F**K The Game – the party card game that combines colours and swear words with good old-fashioned psychological mind-f*ckery.
Here's how to play:
Players take turns to flip over a card and yell out what they see. Depending on the nature of the card, you might have to say the background colour, the text colour or a swear word. You keep turning cards over and shouting until someone f*cks up and picks up the pile. The winner is the first player to get rid of all their cards.
It sounds relatively straightforward, but the cards employ a psychological phenomenon known as the 'Stroop effect'. In short, it massively messes with your head and slows down your brain's responses. No matter how quick-witted you think you are, this game will catch you out.
There are three extended instructions cards so once you’ve mastered the basics you can take the game to the next level by introducing a whole host of new rules – you can even create your own.
Naked Ramblers are way ahead of the curve, one day we'll all be doing it.
For now, you can dress up your houseplants with this cheeky set of free-loving explorers – a butt-naked reminder to get closer to nature. Oh and to make sure you do some occasional pruning.
Elevate your beer-drinking with this classy personalised beer mug. A perfect gift for all beer drinkers, it also makes a great Father’s Day gift.