Christmas is one big cliché, but that’s exactly why we love it. When we think of Christmas traditions, we usually think of things like Christmas trees, stockings, mulled wine and all that kind of stuff. But there are other (less official) traditions that we’re all guilty of. Have you ever made a tit out of yourself at the office Christmas party, for example? Or shared that meme about Michael Bublé emerging from his cave? What about taking full credit for that Cosco cheesecake, you little cheater?
Take a look at our list of 100 lesser-known Christmas traditions, and you’ll soon realise you’re not alone…
100 of Our Favourite Funny Christmas Traditions
Asking people ‘What is “Myrrh” anyway?’
Shouting “IIIIT’S CHRIIIIISTMAAAAAAS!”
Hanging up your stocking using completely impractical material – like sellotape.
Using Santa as a weapon against your children’s behaviour for at least 4 weeks before Christmas Day.
Temporarily getting into jazz.
Randomly roasting some chestnuts.
Munching your way through at least three different advent calendars.
Arguing over how the tree should be decorated; trendy or tacky?
Complaining about Christmas songs being played everywhere while secretly singing along.
Making a joke about Mary’s immaculate conception being an elaborate cover up that went too far.
Writing a letter to Santa just for the lols.
Digging out the Christmas scented candles that you absolutely can’t burn any other time of year.
Participating in a serious debate about Quality Street, Roses, Celebrations and Heroes.
Sending cards to mates you’ve not heard from in years.
Yelling “FIVE! GOLD! RINGS!”
Watching The Office Christmas Special, Die Hard, The Nightmare Before Christmas, Jingle All The Way, Home Alone, and all the Harry Potters.
Oh, and bawling your eyes out at the end of It’s A Wonderful Life.
Sharing that meme about Michael Bublé emerging from his cave.
Having a near-death experience as you dodge the trolleys of aggressive old ladies in M&S on Christmas Eve.
Trying to build an impressive gingerbread house, but giving up and eating it.
Inhaling the sweet, intoxicating scent of mulled wine.
Dedicating an entire morning to detangling the Christmas tree lights.
Dedicating an entire afternoon to hunting down batteries for said Christmas tree lights.
Jamming a load of cloves in an orange.
Making a wreath that’s so impressive you can’t blame your neighbour for nicking it.
Bellowing “HE’S BEHIND YOU” at a panto.
Arguing about whether ‘Die Hard’ is a proper Christmas film.
Telling yourself that you must go to Lapland one year, but then never go.
Genuinely contemplating the science involved in a bearded man delivering gifts to every household in the world.
Complaining about the disappointing weather; whether it’s not cold enough for a white Christmas, or it is cold enough and now you’re cold.
Making a tit of yourself at the office party.
Interrogating your colleagues to figure out who bought you that inappropriate Secret Santa gift.
Going to a Christmas market and buying something – Anything – You didn’t spend 20 minutes trying to find parking to go home empty handed.
As you teeter on the edge of financial ruin, realising that Amazon workers are the elves of today, and Jeff Bezos is essentially Santa.
Regretting leaving the wrapping ‘til the last minute.
Getting hammered down the local on Christmas Eve, before belting out some bangers at midnight mass.
Leaving out a mince pie and a generous glug of whisky for Santa, a carrot for Rudolph, and snow footprints made of flour. Natch.
Embracing Japanese tradition by ordering in a KFC.
Waiting up for Santa but falling asleep anyway – eluded AGAIN!
Straight back on the booze at 9am. Bucks Fizz anyone?
Pretending to be grateful that there’s a satsuma in your stocking.
Putting reindeer antlers on your enthusiastic dog and a party hat on your unimpressed cat.
Assuring your terrified children that Santa isn’t still in the house lurking in a wardrobe somewhere.
Sporting the most hideous Christmas jumper that exists on Earth.
Writing a generic ‘Merry Christmas!’ message and blanket Whatsapping everyone you’ve ever met since 2003.
Asking for help in the kitchen, then getting annoyed that there are people in the kitchen.
Taking a moment to thank God for Aunt Bessie.
Over-feeding a fruitcake.
Playing a cosy fireplace simulation on your TV.
Welcoming your uncle’s latest girlfriend with open arms, despite knowing full well they’ll be gone by New Year’s Day. They always are.
Enduring the anxiety of opening your presents while everyone watches, then uncomfortably exclaiming “Oh wow, I love it, thank you!’.
Scoffing a year’s worth of finger food in a single day.
Hanging out with the dog more than your family.
Getting reacquainted with The Body Shop gift basket.
Saying “That’s too much!” when someone gives you money for Christmas. But in reality you’re skint, so if anything it’s not enough. Cough up, grandpa.
Getting your pets a present and making them unwrap it with their tiny paws.
Realising you don’t have enough chairs for everyone so you start improvising with step ladders and camping equipment.
Witnessing your child spend the entire day in his new Spiderman costume. In character.
Bringing out the good china, only to discover you’re one place short so someone is eating their dinner off a Paw Patrol plate.
Letting someone win a cracker pull.
Purposefully ruining the cracker jokes because you’ve heard them all before.
Going for extra sprouts and accepting the consequences.
Strictly wearing your paper crown until it breaks.
Getting all the family gossip from the last 365 days.
Toasting the family members that are no longer with us.
Consuming at least 15 roast potatoes.
Drowning your dinner in gravy and bread sauce.
Running out of gravy and bread sauce.
Buying a cheesecake from Cosco and telling everyone you made it yourself.
Reluctantly nodding along with the boomers as they decree “It’s all screens and fancy gadgets for Christmas nowadays”.
Switching to pyjama trousers mid-meal so you can cram in even more food.
Igniting the Christmas pud!
Worrying about choking on a hidden silver coin.
Trying your hardest not to fall asleep immediately after dinner.
Forgetting that when you bought your child that keyboard for Christmas, you’d have to listen to it.
Enjoying/enduring the Queen’s speech, then having a family gossip about the Royal Family.
Telling people that they don’t need to help clean up, even though you absolutely don’t mean it.
Worrying that the dishwasher is going to burst into flames as you turn it on for the 14th time since breakfast.
Sincerely suggesting a game of charades.
Gobbling up an unholy amount of mince pies.
Listening to an animated discussion about how much better everyone would have handled the economic situation if they were in charge.
Trying (and failing) to get the toddlers to nap while they’re high on sweets and the rush of new toys.
Watching, amused, as your kid tries to explain Roblox to grandma.
Hiding in the kitchen and doing jager shots with the fun ones in the family.
Getting tipsy and emotional about how lucky you are to have such a mental family.
Making a drunken family call to your aunt in Australia, forgetting it’s the middle of the night over there.
Trying to take a quick family photo that turns into a full-blown drama as your teenager complains about the bad lighting and your uncle searches for a Santa hat to hide his bald patch.
Getting nostalgic about Christmases past: Nintendos and Furbees, Cabbage Patch Dolls and Wrestlemania. The best of times.
Playing Cards Against Humanity and being impressed when your secretly foul-mouthed grandma wins by a landslide.
Telling your family you bloody love ‘em.
Leaving the last of the washing up until tomorrow.
Saying that you should see your relatives more often. Don’t see them again ‘til next Christmas.
Asking about New Year’s Eve plans, then discovering that literally everyone is staying home because “it’s always a let down and it’s too hard to get a taxi home.”
Building a monstrous left-overs sandwich on Boxing Day.
Coming up with New Year’s resolutions. Not taking them remotely seriously.
Filling so many recycling bags that you declare yourself the ultimate eco warrior, single-handedly saving the planet from destruction.
Saying you’re going to use the turkey bones to make a tasty soup, but then realising you can’t be arsed.
Inexplicably finding glitter in your underwear for the next three months.
Reading your growing kids a Christmassy bedtime story and hoping that they believe in the magic for just a little bit longer.
Oh, and buying all of your Christmas presents from Firebox.com. Ho ho ho, worth a try!
Unusual Christmas Gifts for Your Equally Unusual Family
Ready to get started on the Christmas shopping? With our quirky gifts and super speedy delivery, you’ll have everyone’s presents sorted in plenty of time. From fun stocking fillers and gadgets to hilarious personalised gifts, you’ll find unique Christmas presents to match even the most mental member of the family.
