Bloody street lamps and inner-city smog! Unless you live in the middle of nowhere, you rarely get to enjoy the night sky in its full twinkly star-filled glory.
But now you can free yourself from cosmic deprivation and light up your living space with the Twilight Laser Projector!
This sleek little device brings all the awe-inspiring magic of the night sky into you home by projecting epic space visuals onto your ceiling and walls. Just sit back and use the remote control to flick through various mesmerising light modes, constellations and colourful clouds of space dust.
It's even got a built-in Bluetooth speaker so you can play your favourite tunes while marvelling at the projections. Bit of Gustav Holst, anyone?
PS: Now also with Google Home and Alexa.
Snuggle up with Pierre and rest your head on his lovely soft shaft - or keep him on your desk to make your colleagues INSTANTLY contact HR to voice their concerns. Treat yourself to this adorable addition to your plush collection - because you’re girth it.
Please note: this is not an accurate to scale version of a human penis. Thank god.
Once you're awake, you now have a choice. Should you use this break in sleep cycles to use the toilet?
Yes you should. But the world is a dark place. Especially your bathroom. So what are your options? You can't turn the light on, that's mental. You'll be instantly and violently awake.
You could leave the lights off and try using instinct and porcelain echo feedback to find the centre of the toilet but it's way too messy. You need a 3rd way.
You need the Toilet Bowl Light.
It's light-sensitive so it will only turn on in the dark, and motion-activated so it will only light up when you walk into the bathroom at night.
It comes equipped with six colour options - single colour or cycling effect - and fits any toilet.
Now you don't need to shuffle nervously through the dark trying to avoid smashing your leg/shin against the toilet or apologise sheepishly to better halves when they inspect the erratic results of your night-time manoeuvres.
Let the Toilet Bowl Light take the toil out of the toilet.
Painful feet from a long day of being up and about all day? No need to break down and rye, wheat love to introduce you to our cosiest invention yet.
It’s Bread Shoes! (Whole-y grain, we bread your mind, just what you were after!)
Slip those knackered extremities into these soft baguettes. Or are they loaves? Either way, we can’t get enough of these buttery-soft slippers. Expertly cushioned, the podiatric bakers behind these certainly knew what they were doing.
Let’s face it, you knead these. It’s the yeast you could do for those hard-working feet of yours. P.S. We were on a roll with the puns but we’ll stop now. Crust us.
Some would say that these Personalised Face Socks are a bit much, and that’s exactly why you need them in your life. Whether you want to buy a pair for yourself or as a gift for your favourite person, this delightful wardrobe accessory adds a bit of personality to the dull world of foot fashion.
Simply upload a photo of your choice (making sure it follows our printing guidelines) then our wizards will turn your image into a multi-portrait masterpiece that will make you the envy of the world.
Spoil your feet with the ultimate Christmas treat – our personalised Christmas socks! Snap a photo of your choosing, and let work our magic, printing it on your preferred background. Now, the big question is: which Christmas character will you rock? Or perhaps you'd rather create the perfect customised gift by featuring your favourite face. Say goodbye to those mundane Christmas sock presents – this year, nobody will grumble about getting socks for Christmas!
Not our finest introduction. Anyway. Worlds Smallest Dancing Jesus – he can heal the sick, he can walk on water, but can he cure your two left feet?
Sure he can! This is a miniature bobbling messiah we're talking about! He might look like he's doing 'The Carlton' but Jesus has a whole host of signature moves that are now yours to master, featuring:
- The Water Walk
- The Cheek Turn
- The Temptation
- The Carpenter Clog
Whether it’s for home cooking or big garden parties, this Personalised Face Cooking Apron will lighten the mood when you inevitably overcook the steaks. You can add any face you like from your own to your giftee’s celeb crush, just upload the pic and we’ll take care of the rest!
Indulge in a cocoa adventure with our Hot Chocolate Bombs!
Bursting with marshmallow magic and a sprinkle of gold fairy dust, these enchanting treats make sipping your hot chocolate an unforgettable experience. With three captivating colours to choose from, transform your cosy moments into whimsical wonders.
Get ready to sip, swirl, and sparkle.
Take your future into your own hands with our new Crystal Ball Gin. Just give the bottle a gentle swirl and as you lose yourself in the glistening, shimmering spirit... all will be revealed.
Proudly distilled in England, this enigmatic potion perfectly blends together notes of cherry and hibiscus for a delicately sweet and floral palette. While subtle hints of elderberry introduce a tart balance and endow the gin with its striking purple hue.
But that's not all – at the touch of a button, a light concealed within the base of the orb-shaped bottle illuminates the spirit to create a mystical glittery glow. Suffice to say, it's an otherworldly drinking experience and it deserves to be front and centre in your drinks cabinet - or at least in a prominent space to catch the eye of curious passers-by.
It's the perfect gift for gin connoisseurs, budding psychics, or anyone who's into fortune-telling and what mysteries the future may hold.
And they're therapeutic for both men and women!
When the moment strikes, just give these balls a pulverising squeeze and know that if this was real life, the owner of the testicles would be paralysed with fear and pain, dry-heaving and wishing for a swift death. What a calming thought.
Stop playing trouser billiards like a mucky little ape! It might feel wonderfully relaxing but it's horrific to watch. Keep your hands off your – in all probability – unwashed balls and relieve yourself with this rubber prosthesis instead.*
*although don't stop checking them for lumps n' that. Maybe do it in the shower.
This magical gin liqueur is bursting with juicy blackberries, plump spicy juniper berries, fat bouquets of verdant coriander and glistening sticks of liquorice - not forgetting the sparkly fragments of the galaxy that crashed down to Earth to be ingested by these majestic beasts.
It’s true, shooting stars are packed full of glitter. The amount of shimmery stuff doubles when naturally processed by sad unicorns. The sorrow of having to munch their way through crispy space rocks before they can resume their normal diet increases the potency of glitter and deliciousness. That’s just #science.
Swish this around, watch the gorgeous glittery galaxy swirl into action like a holographic milky way, and give thanks to the unicorns who cried so that you might party hard.