Painful feet from a long day of being up and about all day? No need to break down and rye, wheat love to introduce you to our cosiest invention yet.
It’s Bread Shoes! (Whole-y grain, we bread your mind, just what you were after!)
Slip those knackered extremities into these soft baguettes. Or are they loaves? Either way, we can’t get enough of these buttery-soft slippers. Expertly cushioned, the podiatric bakers behind these certainly knew what they were doing.
Let’s face it, you knead these. It’s the yeast you could do for those hard-working feet of yours. P.S. We were on a roll with the puns but we’ll stop now. Crust us.
Why drink out of something that doesn’t have your face on it when you could be drinking out of something that does have your face on it? Or, even better, your mate’s face on it! Or your dog’s face? We’re not fussy.
No matter who you’ve got in mind, we’ll slap their face on a mug for you - an extra fancy heat change mug that makes their glorious image appear when you add hot water. Can any of your other mugs make your dad appear out of thin air? Didn’t think so.
Simply upload your picture and our magic tool will show you what the finished product will look like. Then, sit back, have a cuppa in one of your inferior mugs, and wait for your stunning new facey one to arrive.
Whether it’s for home cooking or big garden parties, this Personalised Face Cooking Apron will lighten the mood when you inevitably overcook the steaks. You can add any face you like from your own to your giftee’s celeb crush, just upload the pic and we’ll take care of the rest!
Not our finest introduction. Anyway. Worlds Smallest Dancing Jesus – he can heal the sick, he can walk on water, but can he cure your two left feet?
Sure he can! This is a miniature bobbling messiah we're talking about! He might look like he's doing 'The Carlton' but Jesus has a whole host of signature moves that are now yours to master, featuring:
- The Water Walk
- The Cheek Turn
- The Temptation
- The Carpenter Clog
Draw a card and you’ll find a series of incomprehensible words - e.g. ‘though wok calves aim’. Say it. It sounds like ‘the walk of shame’! Don’t worry if you couldn’t work it out though, it’s written on the back of the card. Mind you, that doesn’t bode well for your performance in-game. You’ll have to tune your ears to ‘gibberish’.
With 500 cards and 3 categories to play through, you'll be mishearing stuff for years to come. It’s extremely fun, it’s exceptionally irritating, and it’s a portable game anyone can play. What more could you want?!
Welcome to our latest fantastical creation: Phoenix Tears Spiced Rum – a mythical alcoholic manifestation of this ancient beast and all of its legendary powers.
We've bottled their sorrowful syrup and produced this legendary elixir so that you too can invoke all of their extraordinary magic. Leave your old life behind, sip upon these Phoenix tears and resurrect yourself with all of its confidence, beauty and grandeur – and in some rare cases, its glorious crest feathers.
Like its fabled stablemate Unicorn Tears Gin, our closely-guarded extraction methods will remain a mystery for now. Just know that we've the mixed their tears into a premium Caribbean Rum carrying aromas of brown sugar and dried fruit blended with natural cinnamon and ginger to give it a sweet and spicy flavour. It's the missing mythical ingredient in your liquor cabinet.
Just give the bottle a shake and lose yourself as the shimmering golden embers swirl through an opalescent cosmos of dark and mysterious rum.