Simply chuck one of these powerful bombs into hot milk and BOOM. No, not an explosion, but the thick Belgian milk chocolate slowly melts to create the perfect decadent cup of cocoa. There are three gourmet varieties to choose from - White Chocolate, Milk Chocolate, and a Great Taste Award-winning Vegan Dark Chocolate!
And that’s not even the best bit! Each hot chocolate bombe is filled to the brim with miniature marshmallows for an extra lick of soft, pillowy sweetness. Hot chocolate doesn’t get better (or easier) than this!
If you like your coffee strong (f*cking strong no less), then what else do you really need to know? Packed and roasted at our London roastery, this powerful brew is a complex and dark-roasted blend of Brazilian and Honduran Arabica Coffee. Full-bodied and f*cking flavoursome, with powerful notes of dark treacle, cocoa and liquorice, complimented by a dense syrupy body.
Stop poisoning your body with unfulfilling freeze-dried rubbish and don't settle for whimpering brands that are afraid to give you what you really want, nay NEED. Make yourself a hot cup of F*cking Strong Coffee and kick-start your day with a potent dose of delicious caffeine-laden euphoria.
Made from 4x heat-treated steel, it's a worthy instrument ready to be wielded by the ultimate Shinobi warrior. The well-chosen tools included are hex wrenches, a can opener/fruit peeler, bottle opener, ruler, letter opener, box opener, phone stand and a screw driver.
A sleek and agile master of stealth. You'll hardly know it's there lurking silently in the shadows of your wallet, waiting to emerge when you need it most.
Don't worry, this dumpy little spud UFO won't beam you up, but he will shine a bright light down upon the pages of your current page-turner. He's powered by USB and batteries so you can take him under the covers for a midnight reading session, or even plug him into your laptop for a manic homework all-nighter!
Best of all, his flying saucer sits atop a flexible cord so he'll bend to your every whim - shining a brilliant glow wherever you may need it.
It's usually a heady combination of trapped moisture, the last few meals you cooked, the laundry detergent you use and a few spider farts thrown in for good measure. Granted you don't even notice it after about ten minutes, but your curious and unique home scent remains – ready to be enjoyed (and ruthlessly judged in private) by your guests.
Needless to say, this minimalist Incense House is the stylish solution to this age-old problem!
Just pop one of the miniature incense cones inside, light it up and watch as swirls of smoke waft gently from the chimney – filling your home with a fresh (and long-lasting) sandalwood scent.
Complete with three different mini-LPs, this turntable is truly teeny, tiny, and bags of fun. Just slot one of the ‘records’ onto the pin and give it a spin to hear 70s funk, classic rock, or a bit of good ol’ fashioned jazz.
But the fun doesn’t stop there - you can even customise it using the included stickers or swot up on your music history with the included 32 page book of fun facts about the best records of all time.
It’s even better than a real record player! Certainly cheaper, anyway.
Once you're awake, you now have a choice. Should you use this break in sleep cycles to use the toilet?
Yes you should. But the world is a dark place. Especially your bathroom. So what are your options? You can't turn the light on, that's mental. You'll be instantly and violently awake.
You could leave the lights off and try using instinct and porcelain echo feedback to find the centre of the toilet but it's way too messy. You need a 3rd way.
You need the Toilet Bowl Light.
It's light-sensitive so it will only turn on in the dark, and motion-activated so it will only light up when you walk into the bathroom at night.
It comes equipped with six colour options - single colour or cycling effect - and fits any toilet.
Now you don't need to shuffle nervously through the dark trying to avoid smashing your leg/shin against the toilet or apologise sheepishly to better halves when they inspect the erratic results of your night-time manoeuvres.
Let the Toilet Bowl Light take the toil out of the toilet.
Cat-Astrophe has one aim: you stack the cats.
That’s it.
There’s no timer, you can take as long as you need.
They who stacks the cats the highest wins. It’s that simple. Anyone can play this. Kids and adults. Strangers and best mates. Big groups or on your own. Dumb people and clever people. People who hate games and people who love games. People who don’t speak the same language and people who do. Cat lovers get to play with tiny little adorable vinyl cats, cat haters get to see the tower inevitably topple. What’s not to love?
This ingenious floating gizmo projects several seriously psychedelic multicoloured light sequences onto the bottom and sides of the bath. It's truly hypnotic, especially as the pulsating effects are distorted by the water in the tub. Put on some suitably upbeat music, dim the main light and strike that classic legs apart, arm in the air pose and you could be in Studio 54, albeit nude and soaked in hot water. Not such a bad thing in our book.
Battery-operated and water resistant, the Underwater Disco Lightshow features a button that changes the patterns (some subdued, some dynamic), so you can alter the mood in an instant. What's more its curvaceous shape causes the lights to reach out to every corner of the bath. If you're feeling really decadent you could even plop this plastic doodah in your pool, pond or hot tub. Water based shenanigans will never be the same again.
The Underwater Disco Lightshow has been a real hit here at Firebox HQ. In fact we're standing here wrapped in towels having just emerged from our communal bath/disco. Invigorating? We spent the whole multicoloured soak thinking up water-based disco classics to shoehorn into this description. Sadly we could only come up with Car Splosh, Heaven Must Be Missing A Plughole and a few tunes by Splashford and Simpson. Suggestions welcome.
Whether you're chilling out or getting ready for a night on the tiles (no, not the bathroom tiles), this incredible device is guaranteed to add a mesmerising kaleidoscope of light to bathtime. So don't just sit in the tub twiddling your pruning thumbs; order an Underwater Disco Lightshow and Blame it on the Bathtub!
Painful feet from a long day of being up and about all day? No need to break down and rye, wheat love to introduce you to our cosiest invention yet.
It’s Bread Shoes! (Whole-y grain, we bread your mind, just what you were after!)
Slip those knackered extremities into these soft baguettes. Or are they loaves? Either way, we can’t get enough of these buttery-soft slippers. Expertly cushioned, the podiatric bakers behind these certainly knew what they were doing.
Let’s face it, you knead these. It’s the yeast you could do for those hard-working feet of yours. P.S. We were on a roll with the puns but we’ll stop now. Crust us.
Not ready to get a tattoo on your face? How about getting one of your face instead? Much better. Just upload any face and we will turn it into a set of tattoos for you and your mates’ to enjoy. Turning up to an event with the host’s face tattooed on your arm will make a great start to any party.
Whether you're savouring the sunset on your patio, hosting a rooftop soirée, or simply dreaming of a sun-kissed Italian vacation, your personalised Aperol Spritz logo glass will induce some serious cocktail envy.
Simply personalise the glass with a name of your choice and prepare for a Spritz-filled summer.
Not our finest introduction. Anyway. Worlds Smallest Dancing Jesus – he can heal the sick, he can walk on water, but can he cure your two left feet?
Sure he can! This is a miniature bobbling messiah we're talking about! He might look like he's doing 'The Carlton' but Jesus has a whole host of signature moves that are now yours to master, featuring:
- The Water Walk
- The Cheek Turn
- The Temptation
- The Carpenter Clog
If you know a cuddle-fan then this sloth pillow is the gift that will keep on hugging. At 90cm tall, this life-sized sloth buddy will fill the void, and will even hug you back thanks to his little velcro hands. This cute cuddle buddy makes the perfect gift for kids and adults alike, because no one is too old for a good squeeze.
Simply upload your pictures and we'll pop them on a delightfully squishy Mushion and send them on their way to you. Make sure the photos you choose are clear and not blurry or super pixellated - your Mushions will only be as good as the photos you submit.
What will you get on yours? Happy face and sad face? You and your partner? Your friend and their dog? Mum and dad? Your two best mates? Phillip Schofield and Holly Willoughby? The possibilities are endless!
Whether it’s for home cooking or big garden parties, this Personalised Face Cooking Apron will lighten the mood when you inevitably overcook the steaks. You can add any face you like from your own to your giftee’s celeb crush, just upload the pic and we’ll take care of the rest!
Who better to watch over your houseplants than the environmental legend himself! A tiny David Attenborough figurine nestled among the leaves is the perfect finishing touch to your favourite potted plant. These delightful decorations capture the essence of the iconic naturalist, complete with his trademark glasses, infectious smile, and rugged explorer attire.
Ahem.
Now that we’ve got that out of the way, let’s get down to business. Everyone’s favourite marketing tool has been miniaturised (or shrunkled, to use the technical term) down to fit on your desk. Now YOU can enjoy 18 inches of wacky waving inflatable arm-flailing tube man fun in the comfort of your own home.
“But does he manically flail just like the real thing?”
Of course he does, you beautiful fool. This battery powered masterpiece goes all over the place. He’s uncontrollable. Wiggling. Shimmying. Shaking like a toddler after some original recipe Sunny Delight. He wouldn’t be a real wacky waving inflatable arm-flailing tube man without waving and flailing. He’d merely be a wacky inflatable tube man, and that’s no fun at all.
But the fun doesn't stop there! Get your reading glasses out and discover the incredible origins of the wacky, wacky tube man in the fascinating 32-page mini book included with your very own wacky tube man. Yay, education!
Fun Fact: This wacky waving tube man wasn’t always known by that name - he was originally called The Tall Boy.
Are you bored at work? Would you rather be having a kickabout in the park with your mates? If you can’t skive off work, this penal-tea mug with a built-in football net is the next best thing.
And don’t worry - you won’t have to make a ball out of scrunched-up paper, because the mug comes with its own miniature football. All you have to do is decide what style of penalty you want to try - cheeky panenka or the run, skip and shoot favoured by Jorginho and Bruno Fernandes?
The best part is that when your manager walks by your desk and asks if you’re working on your goals, you can confidently say yes!
Why drink out of something that doesn’t have your face on it when you could be drinking out of something that does have your face on it? Or, even better, your mate’s face on it! Or your dog’s face? We’re not fussy.
No matter who you’ve got in mind, we’ll slap their face on a mug for you - an extra fancy heat change mug that makes their glorious image appear when you add hot water. Can any of your other mugs make your dad appear out of thin air? Didn’t think so.
Simply upload your picture and our magic tool will show you what the finished product will look like. Then, sit back, have a cuppa in one of your inferior mugs, and wait for your stunning new facey one to arrive.
After all, you can't simply chomp on a whole sausage or stuff your face with fistfuls of cheese like some feral beast! You need to slice it up - and this sturdy cutting device is the perfect tool for the job.
Made from rubber tree wood, this unconventional kitchen essential features a reassuringly-chunky handle and a stainless steel blade to make slicing a breeze, while a nifty safety lock prevents any slips or mishaps.
Oh and you needn't stop at meats and cheeses either, the guillotine works great for veggies too so make sure you get the carrot, celery and cucumber involved as well!
Where's Bob? On a mountaintop? In a wooded forest? Maybe a TV studio? Find the world's favourite painting instructor in more than a dozen unique settings within this original search-and-find activity book.
Where's Bob? includes 15 full-colour illustrated scenes to search for Bob Ross in sites reminiscent of his paintings, such as at a riverbank, the seaside, or woods, as well as settings inspired by the artist's life experiences, including a TV studio and shopping mall.
The book also invites you to find items like Peapod the squirrel, Bob's paint palette, and his paintbrush within the illustrations. Happy searching!
Imagine the surprise on your friend/lover/mother’s face when you announce that you’ve bought them a butt plug. Then, they unwrap what they think is a naughty gift, only to let out a massive groan, because what you’ve actually given them is a bum -shaped sink plug.
But once the lameness of your punny present sinks in, they’ll soon realise what a practical gift it is - the (rear) end to their leaky sink problems!
Have you ever thought of writing a TV series involving you and your friends? You might never get the chance to pitch it to a streaming service, but now you can bring your idea to life with a personalised Netflix-style poster.
Whether you want your poster to feature you and your significant other as the stars of a romantic drama, or you and your best mate in a hilarious buddy comedy, all elements of the poster are customisable, from the text to the photo.
For best results, we recommend using a high-resolution photo (one taken with a good phone will do just fine).
We’ll even frame it for you, if you like.
Just like a real sloth, this Heated Cuddly Sloth is cute, cuddly, and warm. Unlike a real sloth, he doesn’t need to eat or poop, and will survive in the microwave.
Famously described by Sir Winston Churchill as “a riddle wrapped in a mystery inside an enigma”, The Black Box is a treasure trove of surprise gifts the likes of which we cannot describe. Literally, we can’t describe them, otherwise it wouldn’t be a mystery box, it would be an obvious box.
This black box has something for everyone, so avoid the Christmas carnage this year and sort your shopping out now with a truly brilliant deal, over £100 worth of products for only £69.99.
So, are you brave enough to step into the unknown?
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