You could tuck into a book with a glass of wine, surround yourself with candles and incense while listening to a podcast, binge-watch your favourite Netflix show while scoffing a bowl of M&Ms, or share an intimate bottle of Prosecco with your partner.
Made from sustainable bamboo, this smart bath caddy extends to fit all tubs and features a whole host of useful features to level up your bath times:
- A clever slot securely holds your wine glass so you can't knock it over
- The mid-section flips open to prop up books or tablets
- A recessed area looks after your soap and sponge - or a candle or two
- A pair of fold out legs transforms this bath shelf into a lap table for when you're not in the bath
Gone are the worries of your motor smelling of last night's takeaway or that incident that got a bit sweaty on the backseat. With these personalised air fresheners, not only will your car have a delightful sea scent, it will also make you smile every time you look in the rear view mirror.
Creating it is simple; decide on the photos you want, one for the front and a different one for the back, make sure they’re high quality and zoomed in nice and close. Each face will cover one side so both drivers and passers by can enjoy your weird choice in car accessories.
Stuck for ideas? Why not choose a picture of your Mum to remind you not to ruin her 5 years no-claims bonus? Maybe one of your mates so that you're never riding solo? Or torture yourself with a pic of your celebrity crush, knowing that’s as close as you’ll ever get.
Some would say that these Personalised Face Socks are a bit much, and that’s exactly why you need them in your life. Whether you want to buy a pair for yourself or as a gift for your favourite person, this delightful wardrobe accessory adds a bit of personality to the dull world of foot fashion.
Simply upload a photo of your choice (making sure it follows our printing guidelines) then our wizards will turn your image into a multi-portrait masterpiece that will make you the envy of the world.
There’s no doubts about it, this bit of kit is gonna be your new best friend. The iDream Smart Eye Massager is designed to apply calming pressure and soothing heat to help alleviate the strain caused by excessive screen time and not enough sleep. And, unlike an actual (selfish) masseuse, it doesn’t need breaks or food. By encouraging blood circulation and blood vessel dilation, iDream can even help reduce dark circles, puffiness and dry eyes. It’s also got bluetooth so you can have your own tunes delivered straight to your ears to help you relax.
Whether it’s for home cooking or big garden parties, this Personalised Face Cooking Apron will lighten the mood when you inevitably overcook the steaks. You can add any face you like from your own to your giftee’s celeb crush, just upload the pic and we’ll take care of the rest!
Simply upload your pictures and we'll pop them on a delightfully squishy Mushion and send them on their way to you. Make sure the photos you choose are clear and not blurry or super pixellated - your Mushions will only be as good as the photos you submit.
What will you get on yours? Happy face and sad face? You and your partner? Your friend and their dog? Mum and dad? Your two best mates? Phillip Schofield and Holly Willoughby? The possibilities are endless!
From £9.99
To £13.99
Why drink out of something that doesn’t have your face on it when you could be drinking out of something that does have your face on it? Or, even better, your mate’s face on it! Or your dog’s face? We’re not fussy.
No matter who you’ve got in mind, we’ll slap their face on a mug for you - an extra fancy heat change mug that makes their glorious image appear when you add hot water. Can any of your other mugs make your dad appear out of thin air? Didn’t think so.
Simply upload your picture and our magic tool will show you what the finished product will look like. Then, sit back, have a cuppa in one of your inferior mugs, and wait for your stunning new facey one to arrive.
Set-up is simple and fast. Load the capacious cum-containers with whatever you want to spatter the lucky loser with. Spin the dial on the left ball to find out how many pumps you’ve got until touchdown. Do the same with the dial on the right ball to find out where you have to aim it, then pump away!
It’s basically raunchy Buckaroo, but instead of having loads of annoying plastic accessories to pick up off the floor, you just have to get stuck into a packet of wet wipes.
While no alcohol is necessary to have a ton of cheeky fun with Jizz: The Game, you can quadruple the banter by turning it into a drinking game. Take a shot every time your slutty mate takes a load to the face. Hilarious!
Or switch up your substance of choice for even more wacky ejaculation! Pour in glittery gin for a bougie blowjob, orange squash for a kinky sprinkle, or add flour and egg for the ultimate bu-cakey experience.
It’s a bit naughty, but you can handle it. Cum on, don’t be a wanker, it’s only some jizz!
Ahem.
Now that we’ve got that out of the way, let’s get down to business. Everyone’s favourite marketing tool has been miniaturised (or shrunkled, to use the technical term) down to fit on your desk. Now YOU can enjoy 18 inches of wacky waving inflatable arm-flailing tube man fun in the comfort of your own home.
“But does he manically flail just like the real thing?”
Of course he does, you beautiful fool. This battery powered masterpiece goes all over the place. He’s uncontrollable. Wiggling. Shimmying. Shaking like a toddler after some original recipe Sunny Delight. He wouldn’t be a real wacky waving inflatable arm-flailing tube man without waving and flailing. He’d merely be a wacky inflatable tube man, and that’s no fun at all.
But the fun doesn't stop there! Get your reading glasses out and discover the incredible origins of the wacky, wacky tube man in the fascinating 32-page mini book included with your very own wacky tube man. Yay, education!
Fun Fact: This wacky waving tube man wasn’t always known by that name - he was originally called The Tall Boy.
Simply upload a good clear picture of the faces you desire and we'll transform them all into distorted and squishy cushions for you to do with as you please.
Coming to you in packs of one, two or three, these cosy cushions feature a black reverse and look best boasting a high quality image. What an earth are you waiting for? Mush some faces into your home-decor and never look back.
He’s no use when he’s all floppy, so fill him up with hot water before getting tucked up. Pro-tip: Tuck him down your pants to experience the thrill of having your very own obscenely large, hot dick.
He’s not just for show, it turns out the humble penis is the perfect shape for a hot water bottle, distributing that lovely warmth sideways through the balls and lengthwise through the shaft. Mmm, cosy.
Just try to ignore his weird little face and be thankful that real penises don’t have them. Mind you, if you were with a man who had a schlong that big, its little grin would be the least of your problems...
This storm cloud was what Admiral Fitzroy used on his epic voyage with Charles Darwin aboard the HMS Beagle. In 1831. And we’ve been collectively sleeping on this advanced alien sorcery. Unbelievable.
Basically, the liquid inside the storm cloud will indicate what the weather has in store for you. It’s full of these delicate little crystals that freak out to match the weather.
We know, we were all skeptical, too. But then it started hailing and we knew before it even happened. True story.
All you have to do is upload a high quality photo and our team of pillow printing perfectionists will do the rest. Remember, no dodgy, blurry, low quality shots, or your Monster Mushion will be dodgy, blurry, and low quality too!
For maximum comedic value, we recommend getting one of these made of a chihuahua. But any pet will do, no matter how big-headed they are.
You don’t deserve that. So we made them cry, then we bottled their aching sadness.
All that sweet retribution turned their salty tears into a juicy passion fruit and mango flavoured shimmering gin liqueur with a 20% ABV. It’s the perfect partner for prosecco or tonic water and a slice of grapefruit. Swirl their tears around your glass to unlock their magnificent holographic shimmer, reassured at least a few f*ckboy's were harmed in the making of this mythical elixir.
Warning: drinking too much of this may lead to rogue ex-texting. Be on your guard.
Spicy bellend! No, it’s not an STD, it’s the organic produce from our super easy Grow A Dick Kit! This sassy little cube has a big surprise inside: spoiler alert, it’s everything you need to grow a girthy batch of capsicum annuum - AKA phallic chillies!
This is no bird-of-paradise-flower-situation, these spicy red numbers are unmistakably penile from head to shaft. Except for the little green bit on the stem, obvs. If you actually have one of those on your knob, please see a doctor, you may be at risk of being diagnosed as a plant.
All you have do to bring your willy chillies to life is open the cube and pour a little water on the pre-planted seeds. Pop it in a bright, warm place and keep watering every so often to keep them moist - in 12-18 days, you’ll be seeing a red cock rising out of the soil. Mental. In a few weeks, you could be slicing your very own scarlet bellend into a sexy stir fry! Nice.
When you’re ready to repot your plants into something more fitting (coming soon: the Firebox terracotta vagina), the magical eco-friendly cube will slowly decompose and turn into valuable coconut fibre fertiliser for the plant, enriched with all sorts of stuff that makes chillies fully erect big and handsome.
Now all you need is a pair of ginger balls to go with them for a culinary genital match made in Heaven.
Bad news first: the guys at the unicorn farm messed up and fed half of our majestic mares a diet of juicy fat raspberries.
The good news? Turns out that it made their tears even more DELICIOUS. Second only to our Black Unicorn Tears gin. Or possibly the original.
You need something to focus on, a relaxing task to really obsess over, you need... the Zen Garden.
After all, nothing calms the mind like raking patterns in soft sand, meticulously arranging four polished stones and attending to two tiny grass lawns. Seriously, get ready to totally fixate upon the Zen Garden and forget about all of your other troubles.
- Boss screeching in your face? Just reach for that sand rake
- Bills horrendously overdue? Shuffle around those stones for a bit
- Find out your partner's been having an affair for months? That tiny lawn could use a drop of water
Shower his ceramic body with the included set of seeds, add a bit of water, then your work is done. Within days, a beautiful green coat will begin sprouting. Watch it bloom a bit more every day, from a bit of seedy stubble to a lush layer of green goodness.
But what happens after you’ve harvested your first batch? Pick up some more chia seeds from your supermarket and do it all over again! This llama is infinitely reusable.
Celebrate this wild new discovery and bring a little prehistoric chic into your living space with the Chia Saurus Planter.
The kit comes with everything you need, simply cover this magnificent creature with moist chia seeds - add a little water and sunlight - and he'll be blossoming with a full bushy bodysuit within 1-2 weeks!
But what happens once you’ve harvested your first batch of tasty seedlings? Just grab some more chia seeds from your local supermarket and do it all over again!
Simply chuck one of these powerful bombs into hot milk and BOOM. No, not an explosion, but the thick Belgian milk chocolate slowly melts to create the perfect decadent cup of cocoa. There are three gourmet varieties to choose from - White Chocolate, Milk Chocolate, and a Great Taste Award-winning Vegan Dark Chocolate!
And that’s not even the best bit! Each hot chocolate bombe is filled to the brim with miniature marshmallows for an extra lick of soft, pillowy sweetness. Hot chocolate doesn’t get better (or easier) than this!
If someone you know loves plants but can't seem to keep them alive for more than a week, then this quirky Mini Plant Life Support will inject a bit of life into their smaller houseplants. Don't worry, there are no needles involved, just put the tube peg into the soil and the plant will water itself!
- Only upload photos with one face in them (no group photos please!)
- Photos showing more than one face may result in us having to delay or even cancel your order.
- Don't ruin Christmas by uploading photos with multiple faces in!
Just upload a photo of anyone you like and we’ll get to work crafting their lovely mug into your very own wearable blanket. This thing will jettison you into new levels of comfort, relegating your previously top-tier dressing gown to the merely ‘decent’ category. Regular blankets will never be enough for you ever again.
It’s the ideal gift for someone you miss or someone who misses you, far-flung friends and family, celebrity Stans, or just as a gift to yourself. There’s no cosier way to treat yourself.
Just imagine those faces, merrily tiled across your neatly wrapped gifts, and the joy on your recipient’s faces as they notice and think to themselves, “Wow, [YOUR NAME HERE] sure is a generous, creative, hilarious specimen. I might give them all my money/propose to them/buy them a new car/write an album of songs about how lovely they are/wash all of their dishes forever.”
Wine glasses have always held a deceptively large amount of wine, but this impressive receptacle can stow away an entire bottle - a whole 750ml of the finest boozy grape juice you can get your hands on!
It's the perfect gift for those sensible types who insist on sticking to 'just' one glass of wine.
For our second batch, we’ve refined and improved our emotion harvesting technology, resulting in a bittersweet gin experience and an iridescent glittery appearance that will blow your mind.
To give Unicorn tears their unique taste, we humanely force-feed these beautiful beasts entire wheelbarrows of citrus fruit, oranges, juniper berries, bunches of coriander, and sticks of liquorice. We then force down this concoction with a giant glittery pestle, like fantasy foie gras, and reap the tears as they fall.
You too can now embody the purity, power and potency of nature’s most sacred steed.
To unleash their magical powers: Swirl the bottle. Behold its shimmering majesty. Consume the mythical spirit.
Prevent 'Baggage Reclaim' drama and make sure your bag stands out from the crowd by slipping it snuggly inside a Head Case. After all, nothing says "that's my luggage!" quite like a giant version of your own face, smiling back at you as it shudders round the conveyor belt.
Head Cases are made from durable polyester spandex so they stretch to comfortably fit over your bag. Simply upload a high-quality photo of your face (or a pal's) and we'll print them this striking personalised case cover.
One big face not floating your boat? Get loads of little versions of your lucky chosen face all over it instead with our brand new All Over Faces option.
Curl up on the sofa with a morphed mush of your pet’s face, or put it in their bed for meta pet-on-pet snuggling. Of course, the concept will be a bit lost on them, but we intelligent apes can have a good smirk about it.
You win points by betting on your own ability to successfully complete a series of ridiculous dexterity-based challenges. "What sort of challenges?" we hear you squeal! Words can only begin to describe the fast and frantic fun so give this short video a watch and it'll tell you everything you need to know.
The game includes 160 playfully daft tasks and each player attempts the same challenge so get ready to smugly declare "Beat that!"
It only takes a couple of minutes to learn and guarantees hours and hours of entertainment.
Using cutting-edge electromagnetic technology, this stylish geometric plant pot defies gravity and hovers your favourite houseplants in mid-air. As practical as it is attention-grabbing, the Levitos Plant Pot is designed to slowly rotate while suspended; this allows your plant to soak up sunlight from all angles and reduce lopsided growth. It's also just incredibly calming to watch!
Floating atop its classy walnut-look base, this futuristic fusion of nature and technology is the perfect statement piece for your home.
