US$25.99
Personalised Face Flip Flops
Based on 1 reviews These personalised face flip flops will ensure no one steals your shoes at the beach while you make awkward Tik Tok videos on the water’s edge. A fun addition to your summer wardrobe, they can be personalised with the face of your choice, from your own mug to the flawless visage of your celebrity crush.
These flip flops also make a wildly original gift for mates’ holidays, stag or hen weekends, and they’re available in three different sizes so no one gets left out.
US$34.99
Personalised Luxury Princess Bathrobe
Based on 1 reviews We don't sell golden thrones or rent out teams of loyal manservants - but we know that every aspiring princess deserves their own set of fancy regal robes.
Now you can relax like royalty with our Personalised Luxury Princess Dressing Gown.
Possibly the softest, warmest, snuggliest garment in the entire known universe. Featuring a large hood (to leave room for your crown), as well as two deep pockets for all of your essentials - mobile phone, gold sceptre, share-size bag of Maltesers etc.
And that's not all, we can print the back of this luxurious dressing gown with any name you desire; your own, your kid's, your partner's - just hit the 'Personalise' button and we'll take care of the rest.
Whether you're having a sleepover with friends, settling down for a Disney marathon on the sofa, or going to get the morning papers - make sure you do it in style with our Personalised Luxury Princess Dressing Gown.
US$36.99
Storm Cloud Weather Predictor The weather, a fickle mistress. Perhaps the ficklest mistress. Never get caught in the rain again with this stunning bit of magic. Technology? Pfft, nah.
This storm cloud was what Admiral Fitzroy used on his epic voyage with Charles Darwin aboard the HMS Beagle. In 1831. And we’ve been collectively sleeping on this advanced alien sorcery. Unbelievable.
Basically, the liquid inside the storm cloud will indicate what the weather has in store for you. It’s full of these delicate little crystals that freak out to match the weather.
We know, we were all skeptical, too. But then it started hailing and we knew before it even happened. True story.
Based on 1 reviews This storm cloud was what Admiral Fitzroy used on his epic voyage with Charles Darwin aboard the HMS Beagle. In 1831. And we’ve been collectively sleeping on this advanced alien sorcery. Unbelievable.
Basically, the liquid inside the storm cloud will indicate what the weather has in store for you. It’s full of these delicate little crystals that freak out to match the weather.
We know, we were all skeptical, too. But then it started hailing and we knew before it even happened. True story.
from US$14.99
Hot Chocolate Bombes Powdered hot chocolate? Whatever you say, Grandma. There’s a new hot chocolate format on the scene and once you try it, you’ll never go back to Options.
Simply chuck one of these powerful bombs into hot milk and BOOM. No, not an explosion, but the thick Belgian milk chocolate slowly melts to create the perfect decadent cup of cocoa. There are three gourmet varieties to choose from - White Chocolate, Milk Chocolate, and a Great Taste Award-winning Vegan Dark Chocolate!
And that’s not even the best bit! Each hot chocolate bombe is filled to the brim with miniature marshmallows for an extra lick of soft, pillowy sweetness. Hot chocolate doesn’t get better (or easier) than this!
Based on 1 reviews Simply chuck one of these powerful bombs into hot milk and BOOM. No, not an explosion, but the thick Belgian milk chocolate slowly melts to create the perfect decadent cup of cocoa. There are three gourmet varieties to choose from - White Chocolate, Milk Chocolate, and a Great Taste Award-winning Vegan Dark Chocolate!
And that’s not even the best bit! Each hot chocolate bombe is filled to the brim with miniature marshmallows for an extra lick of soft, pillowy sweetness. Hot chocolate doesn’t get better (or easier) than this!
US$12.99
Full Bottle Wine Glass What do you buy the wine aficionado with everything? Copious amounts of wine would be the obvious answer. But we don't do obvious. And neither should you! So allow us to present this epic Full Bottle Wine Glass.
Wine glasses have always held a deceptively large amount of wine, but this impressive receptacle can stow away an entire bottle - a whole 750ml of the finest boozy grape juice you can get your hands on!
It's the perfect gift for those sensible types who insist on sticking to 'just' one glass of wine.
Based on 1 reviews Wine glasses have always held a deceptively large amount of wine, but this impressive receptacle can stow away an entire bottle - a whole 750ml of the finest boozy grape juice you can get your hands on!
It's the perfect gift for those sensible types who insist on sticking to 'just' one glass of wine.
US$25.99
Incohearent Lits got diss burr rad! Get it? No? Try saying it out loud. Let’s get this bread!
Draw a card and you’ll find a series of incomprehensible words - e.g. ‘though wok calves aim’. Say it. It sounds like ‘the walk of shame’! Don’t worry if you couldn’t work it out though, it’s written on the back of the card. Mind you, that doesn’t bode well for your performance in-game. You’ll have to tune your ears to ‘gibberish’.
With 500 cards and 3 categories to play through, you'll be mishearing stuff for years to come. It’s extremely fun, it’s exceptionally irritating, and it’s a portable game anyone can play. What more could you want?!
Based on 1 reviews Draw a card and you’ll find a series of incomprehensible words - e.g. ‘though wok calves aim’. Say it. It sounds like ‘the walk of shame’! Don’t worry if you couldn’t work it out though, it’s written on the back of the card. Mind you, that doesn’t bode well for your performance in-game. You’ll have to tune your ears to ‘gibberish’.
With 500 cards and 3 categories to play through, you'll be mishearing stuff for years to come. It’s extremely fun, it’s exceptionally irritating, and it’s a portable game anyone can play. What more could you want?!
US$25.99
Jizz The Game We’re not going to beat around the cock bush: this is a game that involves wanking a big plastic dick to completion.
Set-up is simple and fast. Load the capacious cum-containers with whatever you want to spatter the lucky loser with. Spin the dial on the left ball to find out how many pumps you’ve got until touchdown. Do the same with the dial on the right ball to find out where you have to aim it, then pump away!
It’s basically raunchy Buckaroo, but instead of having loads of annoying plastic accessories to pick up off the floor, you just have to get stuck into a packet of wet wipes.
While no alcohol is necessary to have a ton of cheeky fun with Jizz: The Game, you can quadruple the banter by turning it into a drinking game. Take a shot every time your slutty mate takes a load to the face. Hilarious!
Or switch up your substance of choice for even more wacky ejaculation! Pour in glittery gin for a bougie blowjob, orange squash for a kinky sprinkle, or add flour and egg for the ultimate bu-cakey experience.
It’s a bit naughty, but you can handle it. Cum on, don’t be a wanker, it’s only some jizz!
Based on 12 reviews Set-up is simple and fast. Load the capacious cum-containers with whatever you want to spatter the lucky loser with. Spin the dial on the left ball to find out how many pumps you’ve got until touchdown. Do the same with the dial on the right ball to find out where you have to aim it, then pump away!
It’s basically raunchy Buckaroo, but instead of having loads of annoying plastic accessories to pick up off the floor, you just have to get stuck into a packet of wet wipes.
While no alcohol is necessary to have a ton of cheeky fun with Jizz: The Game, you can quadruple the banter by turning it into a drinking game. Take a shot every time your slutty mate takes a load to the face. Hilarious!
Or switch up your substance of choice for even more wacky ejaculation! Pour in glittery gin for a bougie blowjob, orange squash for a kinky sprinkle, or add flour and egg for the ultimate bu-cakey experience.
It’s a bit naughty, but you can handle it. Cum on, don’t be a wanker, it’s only some jizz!
US$10.99
The Muff Mug The bush, the beaver, the lady garden, the landing strip, the MUFF!
Celebrate the evolution of female pubic hair - in all of its beautiful forms - with the Muff Mug!
Featuring illustrations of 'classic' styles from au natural to waxes, vajazzles and beyond.
Based on 1 reviews Celebrate the evolution of female pubic hair - in all of its beautiful forms - with the Muff Mug!
Featuring illustrations of 'classic' styles from au natural to waxes, vajazzles and beyond.
US$12.99
Name That Bum Hole Is that a baboon's booty? A possum's posterior? Or a turtle's tush?
Based on 1 reviews 
US$19.99
Penis Hot Water Bottle Chilly at night? Not got a hunk to keep your bed warm? We feel ya. Shiver no more, frigid friend. This hot water bottle will keep you willy toasty even in the coldest of temperatures.
He’s no use when he’s all floppy, so fill him up with hot water before getting tucked up. Pro-tip: Tuck him down your pants to experience the thrill of having your very own obscenely large, hot dick.
He’s not just for show, it turns out the humble penis is the perfect shape for a hot water bottle, distributing that lovely warmth sideways through the balls and lengthwise through the shaft. Mmm, cosy.
Just try to ignore his weird little face and be thankful that real penises don’t have them. Mind you, if you were with a man who had a schlong that big, its little grin would be the least of your problems...
Based on 1 reviews He’s no use when he’s all floppy, so fill him up with hot water before getting tucked up. Pro-tip: Tuck him down your pants to experience the thrill of having your very own obscenely large, hot dick.
He’s not just for show, it turns out the humble penis is the perfect shape for a hot water bottle, distributing that lovely warmth sideways through the balls and lengthwise through the shaft. Mmm, cosy.
Just try to ignore his weird little face and be thankful that real penises don’t have them. Mind you, if you were with a man who had a schlong that big, its little grin would be the least of your problems...
from US$195.99
Fizzics Draftpour Nothing beats a freshly pulled pint in your favourite pub - except maybe a freshly pulled pint in your very own home.
Never battle with crowds, struggle for a seat, or have to hang about outside on the pavement just to enjoy your favourite beer again! The Fizzics DraftPour gives you nitro-style draft beer from ANY can or bottle. Even the cheapest economy lager can be instantly transformed into a luxurious draft pint with just one pull of the lever.
The DraftPour may be a sleek piece of kit, but it's deceptively high tech under the hood, applying sound waves to convert your beer's natural carbonation into a smooth micro-foam. These diddy little bubbles create the optimal density for enhanced aroma, flavour, and a silky smooth mouth-feel.
Get a fruit machine and a few boxes of pork scratchings in and you’ve basically completely replicated your local pub. Sticky bar-top and ancient, dubiously-stained carpet not included.
Based on 11 reviews Never battle with crowds, struggle for a seat, or have to hang about outside on the pavement just to enjoy your favourite beer again! The Fizzics DraftPour gives you nitro-style draft beer from ANY can or bottle. Even the cheapest economy lager can be instantly transformed into a luxurious draft pint with just one pull of the lever.
The DraftPour may be a sleek piece of kit, but it's deceptively high tech under the hood, applying sound waves to convert your beer's natural carbonation into a smooth micro-foam. These diddy little bubbles create the optimal density for enhanced aroma, flavour, and a silky smooth mouth-feel.
Get a fruit machine and a few boxes of pork scratchings in and you’ve basically completely replicated your local pub. Sticky bar-top and ancient, dubiously-stained carpet not included.
US$13.99
Grow A Dick
Based on 1 reviews Spicy bellend! No, it’s not an STD, it’s the organic produce from our super easy Grow A Dick Kit! This sassy little cube has a big surprise inside: spoiler alert, it’s everything you need to grow a girthy batch of capsicum annuum - AKA phallic chillies!
This is no bird-of-paradise-flower-situation, these spicy red numbers are unmistakably penile from head to shaft. Except for the little green bit on the stem, obvs. If you actually have one of those on your knob, please see a doctor, you may be at risk of being diagnosed as a plant.
All you have do to bring your willy chillies to life is open the cube and pour a little water on the pre-planted seeds. Pop it in a bright, warm place and keep watering every so often to keep them moist - in 12-18 days, you’ll be seeing a red cock rising out of the soil. Mental. In a few weeks, you could be slicing your very own scarlet bellend into a sexy stir fry! Nice.
When you’re ready to repot your plants into something more fitting (coming soon: the Firebox terracotta vagina), the magical eco-friendly cube will slowly decompose and turn into valuable coconut fibre fertiliser for the plant, enriched with all sorts of stuff that makes chillies fully erect big and handsome.
Now all you need is a pair of ginger balls to go with them for a culinary genital match made in Heaven.
US$233.99
Star Theatre Planetarium Flux You don’t need to journey to the frigid middle of nowhere to enjoy the stunning beauty of the night sky anymore. This home planetarium gives you unbridled access to every star in the solar system from the comfort of your own sofa by projecting them onto your ceiling in stunning detail, regardless of how high or low it is.
Unlike the real deal, you won't be squinting aimlessly into the dark. The Flux model features custom made 5 watt LEDs for optimal visibility and advanced multilevel glass lenses that allow for better-than-real-life projection. There’s even an advanced shooting star function so you don’t miss out on any aspect of real life stargazing.
Instead of shivering in your gloves and hat, truly relax under the stars from your sofa, bed, or even the floor. There’s nothing more peaceful than falling asleep under the stars - only this time you don’t need to be paranoid that you’ll wake up to a fox nibbling your toes. The Flux doesn’t make any sounds so you can drift off in peace. And with the 15/30/60 minute timers, you don't even need to worry about turning it off when you’re asleep.
When you become acclimated to coat-less stargazing, you’ll never settle for the cold, harsh outdoors again.
Based on 1 reviews Unlike the real deal, you won't be squinting aimlessly into the dark. The Flux model features custom made 5 watt LEDs for optimal visibility and advanced multilevel glass lenses that allow for better-than-real-life projection. There’s even an advanced shooting star function so you don’t miss out on any aspect of real life stargazing.
Instead of shivering in your gloves and hat, truly relax under the stars from your sofa, bed, or even the floor. There’s nothing more peaceful than falling asleep under the stars - only this time you don’t need to be paranoid that you’ll wake up to a fox nibbling your toes. The Flux doesn’t make any sounds so you can drift off in peace. And with the 15/30/60 minute timers, you don't even need to worry about turning it off when you’re asleep.
When you become acclimated to coat-less stargazing, you’ll never settle for the cold, harsh outdoors again.
US$38.99
Storm Skull Weather Predictor Sick of leaving the house without a coat and getting caught in the rain and chilled to the bone? Sounds like a job for our Storm Skull Weather Predictor.
This stylish little skull uses the same 'futuristic alien technology' Admiral Fitzroy employed to preempt a storm on his famous voyage with Charles Darwin, aboard the HMS Beagle. The liquid crystals inside the skull react to atmospheric conditions and change their form to indicate what the weather has in store for you!
Don't rely on iffy weather apps or looking out the window, just glance at this skull to get the inside scoop on the day ahead.
Based on 1 reviews This stylish little skull uses the same 'futuristic alien technology' Admiral Fitzroy employed to preempt a storm on his famous voyage with Charles Darwin, aboard the HMS Beagle. The liquid crystals inside the skull react to atmospheric conditions and change their form to indicate what the weather has in store for you!
Don't rely on iffy weather apps or looking out the window, just glance at this skull to get the inside scoop on the day ahead.
US$16.99
UNT Mug UNT.
What is UNT?
Is it some kind of curious code? Perhaps it’s a super-secret luxury brand, or simply a popular nickname in some far-flung part of the world?
Actually, now you mention it, we heard someone shouting it on the street the other day.
All we know about this mysteriously named mug is that is features a sturdy 325ml ceramic body with three unexplained letters and a large black c-shaped handle.
Based on 2 reviews What is UNT?
Is it some kind of curious code? Perhaps it’s a super-secret luxury brand, or simply a popular nickname in some far-flung part of the world?
Actually, now you mention it, we heard someone shouting it on the street the other day.
All we know about this mysteriously named mug is that is features a sturdy 325ml ceramic body with three unexplained letters and a large black c-shaped handle.
Peropon Drinking Animal Planter As 21st Century humans we can hardly take care of ourselves, never mind plants. What with the internet and trying to take the perfect selfie, our beloved greenery can often become neglected. Left on a windowsill to succumb to a slow death screaming "FEEED MEEE!"
Luckily, these adorable Peropon Drinking Animal Planters need next to no attention whatsoever. You can reap the benefits of oxygen-giving, sweet smelling miniature plants without lifting a single digit. All it takes is a sip of their tongue and the plants on their backs fill with delicious nourishment. They’re completely self-sufficient, unlike those other pesky house plants…so needy.
Choose from four different ceramic critters, each with their own type of plant perched atop their sweet little heads. These stubby-legged pets are ready to brighten up your desk or window sill. Their chirpy faces seem to say everything is going to be alright.
Based on 1 reviews Luckily, these adorable Peropon Drinking Animal Planters need next to no attention whatsoever. You can reap the benefits of oxygen-giving, sweet smelling miniature plants without lifting a single digit. All it takes is a sip of their tongue and the plants on their backs fill with delicious nourishment. They’re completely self-sufficient, unlike those other pesky house plants…so needy.
Choose from four different ceramic critters, each with their own type of plant perched atop their sweet little heads. These stubby-legged pets are ready to brighten up your desk or window sill. Their chirpy faces seem to say everything is going to be alright.
US$7.99
Evil Hot Gummi Bears Once upon a time, there were three bears – a big bear, a medium sized bear and tiny weeny bear. Being so small, the tiny weeny bear was forever being left behind and ignored. His cousins the bigger bears got all the attention with their bright colours and huge size. The little bear would often find himself left behind. He was so small, he thought, he was barely a bear at all.
But the tiny weeny bear was a resourceful sort. Not to mention a bit of a dark horse. Which is why, one day, he left his massive cousins without saying goodbye and climbed down into hell. Which is harder than it sounds. Once there he met Beelzibear, the Antipooh, and over a bottle of tequila and a bowl of chilli, reached something of an agreement.
Some time later, the tiny weeny bear returned. But there was something different about him. He was still the same size, still the same shape, but he was packed with more fire than a honey pot full of habaneros. No longer did he mind being the smallest bear at the party – he had the power to make people gasp, cry, sweat and turn a hilarious shade of purple. Which is more than his chubby cousins could do. The first Evil Hot Gummi Bear was born.
And now there flamin’ thousands of them! So everyone can share in the legacy of this fiery little hot ted. Pop a handful of Evil Hot Gummi Bears into your mush (or casually hand them round at your next party) and see what all the fuss is about. Go on… we dare you.
Based on 3 reviews But the tiny weeny bear was a resourceful sort. Not to mention a bit of a dark horse. Which is why, one day, he left his massive cousins without saying goodbye and climbed down into hell. Which is harder than it sounds. Once there he met Beelzibear, the Antipooh, and over a bottle of tequila and a bowl of chilli, reached something of an agreement.
Some time later, the tiny weeny bear returned. But there was something different about him. He was still the same size, still the same shape, but he was packed with more fire than a honey pot full of habaneros. No longer did he mind being the smallest bear at the party – he had the power to make people gasp, cry, sweat and turn a hilarious shade of purple. Which is more than his chubby cousins could do. The first Evil Hot Gummi Bear was born.
And now there flamin’ thousands of them! So everyone can share in the legacy of this fiery little hot ted. Pop a handful of Evil Hot Gummi Bears into your mush (or casually hand them round at your next party) and see what all the fuss is about. Go on… we dare you.
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