We’re bringing Mr Whippy ice cream to the people with this Mr Creations Ice Cream Maker! Enjoy soft scoop ice cream from anywhere, at any time - not just when the ice cream man bothers his ar*e to drive around the cul-de-sac.
The ice cream maker can be used with Mr Creations’ hassle-free ‘just add water’ ice cream powders or you can follow one of the many recipes included. Each batch takes less than 30 minutes to create and delivers 350ml of delicious soft-scoop ice cream. Skip the vicious seagulls and stag-dos that plague Blighty’s seaside resorts and get your classic ice cream hit at home this year.
Spicy bellend! No, it’s not an STD, it’s the organic produce from our super easy Grow A Dick Kit! This sassy little cube has a big surprise inside: spoiler alert, it’s everything you need to grow a girthy batch of capsicum annuum - AKA phallic chillies!
This is no bird-of-paradise-flower-situation, these spicy red numbers are unmistakably penile from head to shaft. Except for the little green bit on the stem, obvs. If you actually have one of those on your knob, please see a doctor, you may be at risk of being diagnosed as a plant.
All you have do to bring your willy chillies to life is open the cube and pour a little water on the pre-planted seeds. Pop it in a bright, warm place and keep watering every so often to keep them moist - in 12-18 days, you’ll be seeing a red cock rising out of the soil. Mental. In a few weeks, you could be slicing your very own scarlet bellend into a sexy stir fry! Nice.
When you’re ready to repot your plants into something more fitting (coming soon: the Firebox terracotta vagina), the magical eco-friendly cube will slowly decompose and turn into valuable coconut fibre fertiliser for the plant, enriched with all sorts of stuff that makes chillies fully erect big and handsome.
Now all you need is a pair of ginger balls to go with them for a culinary genital match made in Heaven.
Our Make your own Halloumi kit contains enough equipment and ingredients to make eight (yes eight!) batches of mouth-watering halloumi – all you need to do is add your own milk!
If you're not too hungry and have the patience to leave your cheesy creation in the fridge overnight – do it, it's worth the wait. The salt and mint will have time to fully infuse into the halloumi and the resulting flavour is absolutely sublime.
