Defrost your frozen fingers with these practical (and adorable) Heart Hand Warmers. Also makes a great gift for that one person in your life who’s always cold.
Stash this cosy little llama in your pockets and you’ll never have cold fingers again. It’s like hiding your fingers in the crimped-looking fur of a real one, high up in the Andes with only a poncho to keep the rest of you warm. Not that that’s anything other than a mad stereotype.
Simply microwave him before you head out and he’ll keep your fingers functional better than a pair of gloves. Give him a squeeze when you feel the frost encroaching and you’ll never be numb-handed again!
Let's look at the options...
- Spend 10 minutes scraping around the sink and still not getting all of the hairs?
- Trim your beard over the bathroom floor and (maybe) hoover it up later?
- Shave on the edge of the toilet with a bin between your legs?
- Pop down to the local park with a pocket mirror?
Slip on The Beard Buddy and put an end to this madness. This giant bib straps comfortably around your neck while the two suction cups attach to the mirror, creating a large safety net to catch your fallen trimmings.
If you're interrupted mid-shave; simply untie the neck straps, hook them onto the levers on the back of the suction cups and your bristles will remain safely in the bib until you return. Once you're finished just gather the bib together and empty it carefully into the bin.
Whether you're a regular beard shaver yourself or you know someone with particularly untidy grooming habits; for the sake of bathroom surfaces everywhere, buy The Beard Buddy. As the creators of this life-changing product say – with great facial hair comes great responsibility.
There are no two ways about it – this mug is covered with hundreds of micro penises. An inspired design that casually treads the fine line between subtle abstract masterpiece and horrendous phallic overload. Is it just us or does it have a bit of a Scandi vibe going on?
Best not to overthink it – it's a cup of dicks!
But Count Gracula is different. Not only is he exceedingly cute for a vampire, but this little guy just can't get enough of the pungent stuff. Simply slip a couple of cloves into his caped body, give his head a twist (exorcist-stylee) and he'll pulverise your garlic to perfection. No more chasing cloves around the chopping board or ending up with stinky garlic fingers!
Best of all, unlike your typical clogged-up crusher, Count Gracula is dead easy to rinse out and keep clean. Terrible puns aside, he truly is a fang-tastic kitchen accessory!
How To Live With A Huge Penis explores and allays the daily struggles of this genetic marvel, with chapters covering all of the major issues including:
- Unzipping: Coming Out to Your Friends and Family
- Care and Maintenance of Your Huge Penis
- Sharing Your Pain: Sexual Intercourse with a Huge Penis
- Dealing with Discrimination
- Big Blessings: Unexpected Advantages of a Huge Penis
Once you're awake, you now have a choice. Should you use this break in sleep cycles to use the toilet?
Yes you should. But the world is a dark place. Especially your bathroom. So what are your options? You can't turn the light on, that's mental. You'll be instantly and violently awake.
You could leave the lights off and try using instinct and porcelain echo feedback to find the centre of the toilet but it's way too messy. You need a 3rd way.
You need the Toilet Bowl Light.
It's light-sensitive so it will only turn on in the dark, and motion-activated so it will only light up when you walk into the bathroom at night.
It comes equipped with six colour options - single colour or cycling effect - and fits any toilet.
Now you don't need to shuffle nervously through the dark trying to avoid smashing your leg/shin against the toilet or apologise sheepishly to better halves when they inspect the erratic results of your night-time manoeuvres.
Let the Toilet Bowl Light take the toil out of the toilet.
No one knows the precise criteria for entering the gates of heaven (or hell), but we reckon a lifetime of tiny sins is basically the same as doing a murder – IT'S TIME TO REPENT!
Now you can share all of your darkest secrets with the World's Smallest Confession Booth. Just pop open the curtains, 'kneel' your fingers on the mini prayer cushion, spill the beans, and a concealed priest will mutter “You are forgiven.”
Job done. Now you can get back to lying to your partner and stealing stationery from the office.
Are your colleagues still coming up to your desk and asking you to do things for them, even though you told them you’re completely swamped with work? Are they flooding your inbox with reminders?
Instead of telling them to p*** off and risk getting hauled into your manager’s office, try this mini ticket dispenser, a system tried and tested by butchers across the land. It comes with 100 paper tickets, and even a little electronic notice board to display the current number being “served”.
What’s more, it includes a booklet outlining different ways to tackle common office distractions, like Karen from accounts asking you if you watched last night’s episode of The Masked Singer.
Elevate your beer-drinking with this classy personalised beer mug. A perfect gift for all beer drinkers, it also makes a great Father’s Day gift.