There’s no doubts about it, this bit of kit is gonna be your new best friend. The iDream Smart Eye Massager is designed to apply calming pressure and soothing heat to help alleviate the strain caused by excessive screen time and not enough sleep. And, unlike an actual (selfish) masseuse, it doesn’t need breaks or food. By encouraging blood circulation and blood vessel dilation, iDream can even help reduce dark circles, puffiness and dry eyes. It’s also got bluetooth so you can have your own tunes delivered straight to your ears to help you relax.
Dirty door handles, bacteria-ridden buttons, crusty cash machines, mucky mobile screens – Germs. Are. Bloody. Everywhere.
It's inevitable we'll come into contact with them at some point. And then we'll touch our phone, or our face, or someone else's face. And the next thing you know the whole neighbourhood is coming down with a nasty cold.
Well not any more! Thanks to No Hands – the Non-Contact Hygiene Keyring made from antimicrobial copper.
And not just some cheap copper coating that'll scratch off in a matter of weeks, but pure solid copper that naturally kills microbes, bacteria and viruses within a few hours on contact. Gooo science!
Never mind keyring bottle openers, how about door openers? This neat little device is a germaphobe's dream – with an ergonomic hook to operate doors and handles, and a rubberised precision tip for pressing buttons and using your smartphone.
Always forgetting to go out with a bottle of hand sanitiser? No problem. This little guy slips comfortably onto your keyring so you can keep it with you at all times!
The aptly named ISAKOK Japanese incense sticks are a lie. Inside this cylinder is in fact a 2 and a half foot penis projectile, complete with hairy balls, that will launch itself into the face of anyone who releases it. The Cock Cannon prank gift is the perfect addition to hen parties, birthdays, or even Valentine’s Day (if you’re brave enough).
Okay so depending on your disposition this may not be the best bedroom light feature - but it is the perfectly terrifying accessory to brighten up your halloween party or slasher movie night sessions!
Illuminated by energy-efficient LEDs, this detailed 3D replica is powered by USB or batteries so you can pop this spine-chilling lamp anywhere you please - you know, like peeking out between the curtains of your bedroom window to freak out the neighbours.
We extracted the capsaicin (the hot bit) from the hottest chillies available, the resulting infusion burns like a thousand suns, and then we made delicious milk chocolate with it. Or at least, that was the plan.
If you’re the kind of seasoned curry connoisseur who asks for extra spicy, or the type to drizzle Tabasco liberally on everything, then this may well be a dream come true. However be warned, this ludicrously hot chocolate is not for the faint of heart... it’s not even really for fun. Strictly speaking, it’s probably not chocolate at all.
So just to confirm for anyone in the remotest of doubt – our Instant Regret Chocolate really is extraordinarily hot. The factory didn't really want to make it. It's fair to say that it turned out quite a bit hotter than anyone expected. Still, what is joy without pain – excruciating oral and internal pain?
Challenge yourself, and your friends. You won’t regret it.*
*Seriously, you almost certainly WILL regret it.
These genius Post-Poo Toilet Bombs will save a few blushes the next time you need to send a sausage to the seaside. Simply unload your timber, flush, then pop a bomb or two in the toilet bowl. The fresh, fruity orange scent eliminates offensive odours so you can waltz out of the toilet guilt-free.
If you’re a serial stinker, you can pop a couple in your pocket for those awkward restaurant/bar/gym moments when you’ve got a brown trout to liberate and there’s someone behind you in the queue. Post-Poo Toilet Bombs also make the perfect gift for those known stinkers who think that saying “I wouldn’t go in there for a while” is enough to justify wilting all the flowers within a 50 metre radius.