Liberally sprinkle his ceramic body with the included bag of seeds, add a splash of water, then your work is done. See? Laziest bit of home gardening ever! Within a matter of days, a lush green coat will begin sprouting. Watch it bloom a bit more every day, from a bit of seedy stubble to a luxurious layer of green goodness in just 2 weeks.
But what happens after you’ve harvested your first batch of tasty seedlings? Just pick up some more chia seeds from your local supermarket and you're ready to do it all over again!
Take two of life's greatest pleasures – casually sipping a tumbler's worth of delicious booze and enjoying a damn fine cup of Joe – then combine them into one glorious hot drink and you've got our Spirited Coffee.
These unusual boozy infusions are made using hand-roasted Colombian Arabica beans and come in two equally indulgent flavours:
Whisky
Smooth and smoky sophistication in a coffee cup. All of the rich, oaky character of a cask-aged whisky, perfectly balanced with mellow notes of vanilla and dark forest fruits.
Dark Rum
Not just sugar, spice, and everything nice. This dark rum-infused coffee perfectly captures the real essence of the Caribbean spirit; with warm notes of toasted sugar, spiced caramel and a hint of smoked, dark chocolate.
Amaretto
Sinfully delicious, this amaretto flavour coffee has a subtle bitterness with notes of vanilla, almonds and sweet candied cherry. Sweet and mild with a hint bitterness.
Drink cold as an indulgent iced-coffee in summer or pour over vanilla ice cream for an out-of-this-world affogato.
Best of all, they're alcohol-free so you can enjoy them any time!
from £24.99
Thanks to our new Personalised Door Mat you don't have to settle for some other brand's idea of a "hilarious" welcome message – now you can come up with your very own!
With our super simple (and fun) customiser you can add your own two lines of text to a hard-wearing velour doormat with a non-slip base. There are heaps of font styles to choose from and you can tinker around with the size and placement. It's really easy to get creative and there's a nice clear preview of your doormat at every step of the way.
We all need somewhere to wipe our feet, and with these new Personalised Door Mats you can welcome wandering guests, turn away intruders and help keep your carpets clean.
Calling all pub quiz factfiles, prepare for the ultimate battle of brains and nerves with The Shocking Truth. Players must answer the questions correctly to win the game and avoid getting a cattle prod to the finger. Not for the faint (or pacemaker) hearted, The Shocking Truth will definitely amp up your next games night to the next level.
Upload a photo of anyone you want and we’ll tile it over your very own doormat. Whether it’s your best mate, your ex, your worst enemy or your favourite person, we’ll print 'em so you can step on them every time you leave or enter the house.
No matter how enthusiastic you are about caking mud into them, your doormat will remain super easy to clean - just bung it in the washing machine at 30 degrees and it’ll be good as new, ready for more vengeful shoe cleaning. Not a lot we can do if you get so angry that you wear a massive hole in it though, other than suggest a course of therapy and some yoga.
READ ME! I’M IMPORTANT!
- Only upload photos with one face in them (no group photos please!)
- Photos showing more than one face may result in us having to delay or even cancel your order.
- Don't ruin Christmas by uploading photos with multiple faces in!
Complete with three different mini-LPs, this turntable is truly teeny, tiny, and bags of fun. Just slot one of the ‘records’ onto the pin and give it a spin to hear 70s funk, classic rock, or a bit of good ol’ fashioned jazz.
But the fun doesn’t stop there - you can even customise it using the included stickers or swot up on your music history with the included 32 page book of fun facts about the best records of all time.
It’s even better than a real record player! Certainly cheaper, anyway.
These personalised face flip flops will ensure no one steals your shoes at the beach while you make awkward Tik Tok videos on the water’s edge. A fun addition to your summer wardrobe, they can be personalised with the face of your choice, from your own mug to the flawless visage of your celebrity crush.
These flip flops also make a wildly original gift for mates’ holidays, stag or hen weekends, and they’re available in three different sizes so no one gets left out.
We've bottled their sorrowful syrup and produced this legendary elixir so that you too can invoke all of their extraordinary magic. Leave your old life behind, sip upon these Phoenix tears and resurrect yourself with all of its confidence, beauty and grandeur – and in some rare cases, its glorious crest feathers.
Like its fabled stablemate Unicorn Tears Gin, our closely-guarded extraction methods will remain a mystery for now. Just know that we've the mixed their tears into a premium Caribbean Rum carrying aromas of brown sugar and dried fruit blended with natural cinnamon and ginger to give it a sweet and spicy flavour. It's the missing mythical ingredient in your liquor cabinet.
Just give the bottle a shake and lose yourself as the shimmering golden embers swirl through an opalescent cosmos of dark and mysterious rum.
Can you name all three of Ross' wives? Do you remember where Monica and Chandler first got together? What book did Joey buy Ross and Monica's parents for their wedding anniversary?
The aptly-named Friends Ultimate Trivia Quiz features 2000(!!!) head-scratching questions covering all 236 episodes of Friends, so we hope you were paying attention! Grab your closest and geekiest friends and separate the smelly cats from the lobsters. Or something. See, we'd be hopeless!
Celebrate this wild new discovery and bring a little prehistoric chic into your living space with the Chia Saurus Planter.
The kit comes with everything you need, simply cover this magnificent creature with moist chia seeds - add a little water and sunlight - and he'll be blossoming with a full bushy bodysuit within 1-2 weeks!
But what happens once you’ve harvested your first batch of tasty seedlings? Just grab some more chia seeds from your local supermarket and do it all over again!
These mercilessly hot Instant Regret Lollipops are infused with our signature 6.4 million Scoville extract and guaranteed to cause immense physical and mental suffering. Just for reference, the humble jalapeño is a paltry 3.5 thousand Scovilles – childs play, a walk in the park.
But even the lightest, daintiest lick of these lollipops is like plunging your tongue into the roaring fires of hell. Or knocking back a shot of fresh lava. Or sucking on a red-hot branding iron. Yum!
Soooo why not challenge a mate and see who can hold it in their mouth the longest? Seems like a perfectly rational thing to do, right?
Spicy bellend! No, it’s not an STD, it’s the organic produce from our super easy Grow A Dick Kit! This sassy little cube has a big surprise inside: spoiler alert, it’s everything you need to grow a girthy batch of capsicum annuum - AKA phallic chillies!
This is no bird-of-paradise-flower-situation, these spicy red numbers are unmistakably penile from head to shaft. Except for the little green bit on the stem, obvs. If you actually have one of those on your knob, please see a doctor, you may be at risk of being diagnosed as a plant.
All you have do to bring your willy chillies to life is open the cube and pour a little water on the pre-planted seeds. Pop it in a bright, warm place and keep watering every so often to keep them moist - in 12-18 days, you’ll be seeing a red cock rising out of the soil. Mental. In a few weeks, you could be slicing your very own scarlet bellend into a sexy stir fry! Nice.
When you’re ready to repot your plants into something more fitting (coming soon: the Firebox terracotta vagina), the magical eco-friendly cube will slowly decompose and turn into valuable coconut fibre fertiliser for the plant, enriched with all sorts of stuff that makes chillies fully erect big and handsome.
Now all you need is a pair of ginger balls to go with them for a culinary genital match made in Heaven.
This storm cloud was what Admiral Fitzroy used on his epic voyage with Charles Darwin aboard the HMS Beagle. In 1831. And we’ve been collectively sleeping on this advanced alien sorcery. Unbelievable.
Basically, the liquid inside the storm cloud will indicate what the weather has in store for you. It’s full of these delicate little crystals that freak out to match the weather.
We know, we were all skeptical, too. But then it started hailing and we knew before it even happened. True story.
Naked Ramblers are way ahead of the curve, one day we'll all be doing it.
For now, you can dress up your houseplants with this cheeky set of free-loving explorers – a butt-naked reminder to get closer to nature. Oh and to make sure you do some occasional pruning.
No need to retrieve these fecal floating fellas from your bathtub. These adorable racing floaters are a solid source of bathtime entertainment, just wind them up and watch the little turbo-charged turds race across the water.
Wine glasses have always held a deceptively large amount of wine, but this impressive receptacle can stow away an entire bottle - a whole 750ml of the finest boozy grape juice you can get your hands on!
It's the perfect gift for those sensible types who insist on sticking to 'just' one glass of wine.
We've all flipped the bird or a cheeky V, and most of the time that's all the situation requires – a mad moment of road rage, a useless co-worker leaving the room etc.
But if you yearn to expand your gesticular vocabulary, you need to get your hands on How To Swear In Sign Language.
This handy set of cue cards introduces 100 vulgar hand gestures; each one comes with simple illustrated instructions so you'll be signing Shit for Brains, Eat a Dick, Fuck Face and Cock-topus in no time.
