But every now again we find ourselves getting a hankering for some seriously old-school pursuits – like Axe Throwing.
The Small Viking Axe Throwing Game downscales this timeless activity to a more manageable size so you can enjoy it at home (ideally in the garden!). The set comes with three dinky little axes as well as a chunky tree stump target for you to hang up and hurl them into.
Don't let their size fool you, the axes are still super sharp with plenty of heft to them. And after extensive play-testing, we can confirm that they are exceedingly satisfying to throw!
So what are you waiting for? Gather your best mates, get the mead flowing, the mutton roasting and the axes flying!
But now you can free yourself from cosmic deprivation and light up your living space with the Twilight Laser Projector!
This sleek little device brings all the awe-inspiring magic of the night sky into you home by projecting epic space visuals onto your ceiling and walls. Just sit back and use the remote control to flick through various mesmerising light modes, constellations and colourful clouds of space dust.
It's even got a built-in Bluetooth speaker so you can play your favourite tunes while marvelling at the projections. Bit of Gustav Holst, anyone?
If you like your coffee strong (f*cking strong no less), then what else do you really need to know? Packed and roasted at our London roastery, this powerful brew is a complex and dark-roasted blend of Brazilian and Honduran Arabica Coffee. Full-bodied and f*cking flavoursome, with powerful notes of dark treacle, cocoa and liquorice, complimented by a dense syrupy body.
Stop poisoning your body with unfulfilling freeze-dried rubbish and don't settle for whimpering brands that are afraid to give you what you really want, nay NEED. Make yourself a hot cup of F*cking Strong Coffee and kick-start your day with a potent dose of delicious caffeine-laden euphoria.
Unlike the real deal, you won't be squinting aimlessly into the dark. The Flux model features custom made 5 watt LEDs for optimal visibility and advanced multilevel glass lenses that allow for better-than-real-life projection. There’s even an advanced shooting star function so you don’t miss out on any aspect of real life stargazing.
Instead of shivering in your gloves and hat, truly relax under the stars from your sofa, bed, or even the floor. There’s nothing more peaceful than falling asleep under the stars - only this time you don’t need to be paranoid that you’ll wake up to a fox nibbling your toes. The Flux doesn’t make any sounds so you can drift off in peace. And with the 15/30/60 minute timers, you don't even need to worry about turning it off when you’re asleep.
When you become acclimated to coat-less stargazing, you’ll never settle for the cold, harsh outdoors again.
Big barbarian banquets in front of a roaring fire, feasting on legs of mutton with their bare hands. Swigging on mead and planning their next plunderous voyage while beating each other up for the fun of it and bellowing drinking songs 'til dawn. Those were the days, eh?
The Viking Horn Glass is a throwback to this epic boozy era. Just fill it up with your favourite tipple, raise a hearty toast to Odin and co, then get ready to party like a Viking!
Don't let its primitive roots fool you, this curvaceous goblet is significantly classier than your average carved cow horn, it's made from soda-lime glass and holds up to 480ml of your finest ale or mead.
The horn even comes with sturdy birch wood stand so you can proudly display it on the mantel, you know, next to your sword, shield, the skulls of your enemies etc.
There’s no doubts about it, this bit of kit is gonna be your new best friend. The iDream Smart Eye Massager is designed to apply calming pressure and soothing heat to help alleviate the strain caused by excessive screen time and not enough sleep. And, unlike an actual (selfish) masseuse, it doesn’t need breaks or food. By encouraging blood circulation and blood vessel dilation, iDream can even help reduce dark circles, puffiness and dry eyes. It’s also got bluetooth so you can have your own tunes delivered straight to your ears to help you relax.
Some would say that these Personalised Face Socks are a bit much, and that’s exactly why you need them in your life. Whether you want to buy a pair for yourself or as a gift for your favourite person, this delightful wardrobe accessory adds a bit of personality to the dull world of foot fashion.
Simply upload a photo of your choice (making sure it follows our printing guidelines) then our wizards will turn your image into a multi-portrait masterpiece that will make you the envy of the world.
Gone are the worries of your motor smelling of last night's takeaway or that incident that got a bit sweaty on the backseat. With these personalised air fresheners, not only will your car have a delightful sea scent, it will also make you smile every time you look in the rear view mirror.
Creating it is simple; decide on the photos you want, one for the front and a different one for the back, make sure they’re high quality and zoomed in nice and close. Each face will cover one side so both drivers and passers by can enjoy your weird choice in car accessories.
Stuck for ideas? Why not choose a picture of your Mum to remind you not to ruin her 5 years no-claims bonus? Maybe one of your mates so that you're never riding solo? Or torture yourself with a pic of your celebrity crush, knowing that’s as close as you’ll ever get.
This storm cloud was what Admiral Fitzroy used on his epic voyage with Charles Darwin aboard the HMS Beagle. In 1831. And we’ve been collectively sleeping on this advanced alien sorcery. Unbelievable.
Basically, the liquid inside the storm cloud will indicate what the weather has in store for you. It’s full of these delicate little crystals that freak out to match the weather.
We know, we were all skeptical, too. But then it started hailing and we knew before it even happened. True story.
It’s never been easier to get anybody’s face on a mega-sized cushion. Just upload your pictures and we'll get them on a humongous, soft cushion and pop them in the post. Make sure the photos you upload are high quality (AKA not super blurry or pixelated) and the Firebox fairies will do the rest.
The perfect gift for a big-headed pal, someone who misses you, or anyone who might like a giant snuggly double sided face to squeeze.
Simply upload your pictures and we'll pop them on a delightfully squishy Mushion and send them on their way to you. Make sure the photos you choose are clear and not blurry or super pixellated - your Mushions will only be as good as the photos you submit.
What will you get on yours? Happy face and sad face? You and your partner? Your friend and their dog? Mum and dad? Your two best mates? Phillip Schofield and Holly Willoughby? The possibilities are endless!
Whether it’s for home cooking or big garden parties, this Personalised Face Cooking Apron will lighten the mood when you inevitably overcook the steaks. You can add any face you like from your own to your giftee’s celeb crush, just upload the pic and we’ll take care of the rest!
These genius Post-Poo Toilet Bombs will save a few blushes the next time you need to send a sausage to the seaside. Simply unload your timber, flush, then pop a bomb or two in the toilet bowl. The fresh, fruity orange scent eliminates offensive odours so you can waltz out of the toilet guilt-free.
If you’re a serial stinker, you can pop a couple in your pocket for those awkward restaurant/bar/gym moments when you’ve got a brown trout to liberate and there’s someone behind you in the queue. Post-Poo Toilet Bombs also make the perfect gift for those known stinkers who think that saying “I wouldn’t go in there for a while” is enough to justify wilting all the flowers within a 50 metre radius.
We extracted the capsaicin (the hot bit) from the hottest chillies available, the resulting infusion burns like a thousand suns, and then we made delicious milk chocolate with it. Or at least, that was the plan.
If you’re the kind of seasoned curry connoisseur who asks for extra spicy, or the type to drizzle Tabasco liberally on everything, then this may well be a dream come true. However be warned, this ludicrously hot chocolate is not for the faint of heart... it’s not even really for fun. Strictly speaking, it’s probably not chocolate at all.
So just to confirm for anyone in the remotest of doubt – our Instant Regret Chocolate really is extraordinarily hot. The factory didn't really want to make it. It's fair to say that it turned out quite a bit hotter than anyone expected. Still, what is joy without pain – excruciating oral and internal pain?
Challenge yourself, and your friends. You won’t regret it.*
*Seriously, you almost certainly WILL regret it.
When there’s danger a’foot’, what you need is a pair of personalised superhero socks to save the day. Whether you have a supermum, superhusband, or superBFF, our high quality, personalisable socks will make the perfect present for your loved one.
Simply choose the size and style, then upload a picture of your choosing (one that matches our print requirements) and our wizards will turn your image into superhero socks.
Never battle with crowds, struggle for a seat, or have to hang about outside on the pavement just to enjoy your favourite beer again! The Fizzics DraftPour gives you nitro-style draft beer from ANY can or bottle. Even the cheapest economy lager can be instantly transformed into a luxurious draft pint with just one pull of the lever.
The DraftPour may be a sleek piece of kit, but it's deceptively high tech under the hood, applying sound waves to convert your beer's natural carbonation into a smooth micro-foam. These diddy little bubbles create the optimal density for enhanced aroma, flavour, and a silky smooth mouth-feel.
Get a fruit machine and a few boxes of pork scratchings in and you’ve basically completely replicated your local pub. Sticky bar-top and ancient, dubiously-stained carpet not included.
Liberally sprinkle his ceramic body with the included bag of seeds, add a splash of water, then your work is done. See? Laziest bit of home gardening ever! Within a matter of days, a lush green coat will begin sprouting. Watch it bloom a bit more every day, from a bit of seedy stubble to a luxurious layer of green goodness in just 2 weeks.
But what happens after you’ve harvested your first batch of tasty seedlings? Just pick up some more chia seeds from your local supermarket and you're ready to do it all over again!
- For best results, make sure your photo is as high quality as possible
- Photos without filters work best!
- Crop the shot down so we know whose face to use
Monster Mushions are ridiculously huge – warping your face (or someone else's) to an absurdly big 60x40cm cushion.
All you have to do is upload a high-quality, front-facing picture of the faces you desire and we'll transform them all into humongous cuddly cushions for you to do with as you wish.
These colossal cushions make the perfect personalised present for one of your big-headed mates, or a seriously unconventional house-warming gift.
The aptly named ISAKOK Japanese incense sticks are a lie. Inside this cylinder is in fact a 2 and a half foot penis projectile, complete with hairy balls, that will launch itself into the face of anyone who releases it. The Cock Cannon prank gift is the perfect addition to hen parties, birthdays, or even Valentine’s Day (if you’re brave enough).
Complete with three different mini-LPs, this turntable is truly teeny, tiny, and bags of fun. Just slot one of the ‘records’ onto the pin and give it a spin to hear 70s funk, classic rock, or a bit of good ol’ fashioned jazz.
But the fun doesn’t stop there - you can even customise it using the included stickers or swot up on your music history with the included 32 page book of fun facts about the best records of all time.
It’s even better than a real record player! Certainly cheaper, anyway.
Just imagine those faces, merrily tiled across your neatly wrapped gifts, and the joy on your recipient’s faces as they notice and think to themselves, “Wow, [YOUR NAME HERE] sure is a generous, creative, hilarious specimen. I might give them all my money/propose to them/buy them a new car/write an album of songs about how lovely they are/wash all of their dishes forever.”