- 0-15 £
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Give your brew the 5-start treatment with the Rise & Shine Luxury Coffee Kit, a fancy-shmancy 3-piece set containing a filter, scoop and ceramic mug. If you know someone who takes their coffee verrrry seriously, then this will add a bit of magic to their mornings.

Now you can recreate that youthful exuberance and unhinged joy from the comfort of... your toilet!
The waterproof and slip-proof Toilet Piano Mat rolls out flat to reveal a set of large, foot-friendly piano keys for you to stomp upon. Perfect for having a casual tinkle, honing your musical abilities, passing the time, or just drowning out a chorus of earth-shattering flatulence.
The creators have even thrown in a song book and handy 'Do Not Disturb' sign - you know, for when you're composing your next movement.

This storm cloud was what Admiral Fitzroy used on his epic voyage with Charles Darwin aboard the HMS Beagle. In 1831. And we’ve been collectively sleeping on this advanced alien sorcery. Unbelievable.
Basically, the liquid inside the storm cloud will indicate what the weather has in store for you. It’s full of these delicate little crystals that freak out to match the weather.
We know, we were all skeptical, too. But then it started hailing and we knew before it even happened. True story.

Well, it turns out you don't need to dig out your Pog collection and listen to N'Sync on your dodgy walkman to transport you and your mates right back to the 90s – you just need the Totally 90s Board Game.
This 90s-themed trivia game is jammed full of nostalgic questions covering everything from Furbys to the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air and everything in between. So round up your fellow 90s babies, roll the dice and prepare to find out how much you really know about this carefree decade.

Thanks to the revolutionary polymer compound that its made from, this advanced silicone material grips everything from iPads to Sat Navs. Just slap it on your dashboard, desk or wall and place your items on top. As if by magic, your possessions will defy the forces of nature and be held in place – it's an incredibly satisfying miracle of modern science to behold.
Resistant to water, high temperatures and sunlight, it’s perfectly at home wherever you choose to put it. And it never needs replenishing either – when the stickiness begins to wear off, just wipe it with a damp towel and it’ll be as good as new. We're pretty sure that this doesn't apply to geckos though.

Big barbarian banquets in front of a roaring fire, feasting on legs of mutton with their bare hands. Swigging on mead and planning their next plunderous voyage while beating each other up for the fun of it and bellowing drinking songs 'til dawn. Those were the days, eh?
The Viking Horn Glass is a throwback to this epic boozy era. Just fill it up with your favourite tipple, raise a hearty toast to Odin and co, then get ready to party like a Viking!
Don't let its primitive roots fool you, this curvaceous goblet is significantly classier than your average carved cow horn, it's made from soda-lime glass and holds up to 480ml of your finest ale or mead.
The horn even comes with sturdy birch wood stand so you can proudly display it on the mantel, you know, next to your sword, shield, the skulls of your enemies etc.

Cosy up with this super soft and cuddly organ, and bask in its soothing lavender scent. It comes complete with fallopian tubes, ovaries, and a very cheeky smile!
Just pop this wondrous womb in the microwave and heat it up to take the edge off those painful cramps. And if the heat isn't giving you the fix you need, you can even freeze it for some sweet cooling relief!
We're not ovary-acting when we say it's the perfect present! Whether for your partner, your best mate, a new mum, a midwife, or just someone suffering from PMS who needs a hug. Everyone needs a cuddly uterus in their life.

Liberally sprinkle his ceramic body with the included bag of seeds, add a splash of water, then your work is done. See? Laziest bit of home gardening ever! Within a matter of days, a lush green coat will begin sprouting. Watch it bloom a bit more every day, from a bit of seedy stubble to a luxurious layer of green goodness in just 2 weeks.
But what happens after you’ve harvested your first batch of tasty seedlings? Just pick up some more chia seeds from your local supermarket and you're ready to do it all over again!

from £24.99
Thanks to our new Personalised Door Mat you don't have to settle for some other brand's idea of a "hilarious" welcome message – now you can come up with your very own!
With our super simple (and fun) customiser you can add your own two lines of text to a hard-wearing velour doormat with a non-slip base. There are heaps of font styles to choose from and you can tinker around with the size and placement. It's really easy to get creative and there's a nice clear preview of your doormat at every step of the way.
We all need somewhere to wipe our feet, and with these new Personalised Door Mats you can welcome wandering guests, turn away intruders and help keep your carpets clean.

Stash this cosy little llama in your pockets and you’ll never have cold fingers again. It’s like hiding your fingers in the crimped-looking fur of a real one, high up in the Andes with only a poncho to keep the rest of you warm. Not that that’s anything other than a mad stereotype.
Simply microwave him before you head out and he’ll keep your fingers functional better than a pair of gloves. Give him a squeeze when you feel the frost encroaching and you’ll never be numb-handed again!

Set-up is simple and fast. Load the capacious cum-containers with whatever you want to spatter the lucky loser with. Spin the dial on the left ball to find out how many pumps you’ve got until touchdown. Do the same with the dial on the right ball to find out where you have to aim it, then pump away!
It’s basically raunchy Buckaroo, but instead of having loads of annoying plastic accessories to pick up off the floor, you just have to get stuck into a packet of wet wipes.
While no alcohol is necessary to have a ton of cheeky fun with Jizz: The Game, you can quadruple the banter by turning it into a drinking game. Take a shot every time your slutty mate takes a load to the face. Hilarious!
Or switch up your substance of choice for even more wacky ejaculation! Pour in glittery gin for a bougie blowjob, orange squash for a kinky sprinkle, or add flour and egg for the ultimate bu-cakey experience.
It’s a bit naughty, but you can handle it. Cum on, don’t be a wanker, it’s only some jizz!

Calling all pub quiz factfiles, prepare for the ultimate battle of brains and nerves with The Shocking Truth. Players must answer the questions correctly to win the game and avoid getting a cattle prod to the finger. Not for the faint (or pacemaker) hearted, The Shocking Truth will definitely amp up your next games night to the next level.


Spicy bellend! No, it’s not an STD, it’s the organic produce from our super easy Grow A Dick Kit! This sassy little cube has a big surprise inside: spoiler alert, it’s everything you need to grow a girthy batch of capsicum annuum - AKA phallic chillies!
This is no bird-of-paradise-flower-situation, these spicy red numbers are unmistakably penile from head to shaft. Except for the little green bit on the stem, obvs. If you actually have one of those on your knob, please see a doctor, you may be at risk of being diagnosed as a plant.
All you have do to bring your willy chillies to life is open the cube and pour a little water on the pre-planted seeds. Pop it in a bright, warm place and keep watering every so often to keep them moist - in 12-18 days, you’ll be seeing a red cock rising out of the soil. Mental. In a few weeks, you could be slicing your very own scarlet bellend into a sexy stir fry! Nice.
When you’re ready to repot your plants into something more fitting (coming soon: the Firebox terracotta vagina), the magical eco-friendly cube will slowly decompose and turn into valuable coconut fibre fertiliser for the plant, enriched with all sorts of stuff that makes chillies fully erect big and handsome.
Now all you need is a pair of ginger balls to go with them for a culinary genital match made in Heaven.

Luckily, these adorable Peropon Drinking Animal Planters need next to no attention whatsoever. You can reap the benefits of oxygen-giving, sweet smelling miniature plants without lifting a single digit. All it takes is a sip of their tongue and the plants on their backs fill with delicious nourishment. They’re completely self-sufficient, unlike those other pesky house plants…so needy.
Choose from four different ceramic critters, each with their own type of plant perched atop their sweet little heads. These stubby-legged pets are ready to brighten up your desk or window sill. Their chirpy faces seem to say everything is going to be alright.

Complete with three different mini-LPs, this turntable is truly teeny, tiny, and bags of fun. Just slot one of the ‘records’ onto the pin and give it a spin to hear 70s funk, classic rock, or a bit of good ol’ fashioned jazz.
But the fun doesn’t stop there - you can even customise it using the included stickers or swot up on your music history with the included 32 page book of fun facts about the best records of all time.
It’s even better than a real record player! Certainly cheaper, anyway.

You don’t deserve that. So we made them cry, then we bottled their aching sadness.
All that sweet retribution turned their salty tears into a juicy passion fruit and mango flavoured shimmering gin liqueur with a 20% ABV. It’s the perfect partner for prosecco or tonic water and a slice of grapefruit. Swirl their tears around your glass to unlock their magnificent holographic shimmer, reassured at least a few f*ckboy's were harmed in the making of this mythical elixir.
Warning: drinking too much of this may lead to rogue ex-texting. Be on your guard.

These mercilessly hot Instant Regret Lollipops are infused with our signature 6.4 million Scoville extract and guaranteed to cause immense physical and mental suffering. Just for reference, the humble jalapeño is a paltry 3.5 thousand Scovilles – childs play, a walk in the park.
But even the lightest, daintiest lick of these lollipops is like plunging your tongue into the roaring fires of hell. Or knocking back a shot of fresh lava. Or sucking on a red-hot branding iron. Yum!
Soooo why not challenge a mate and see who can hold it in their mouth the longest? Seems like a perfectly rational thing to do, right?

Naked Ramblers are way ahead of the curve, one day we'll all be doing it.
For now, you can dress up your houseplants with this cheeky set of free-loving explorers – a butt-naked reminder to get closer to nature. Oh and to make sure you do some occasional pruning.

Bad news first: the guys at the unicorn farm messed up and fed half of our majestic mares a diet of juicy fat raspberries.
The good news? Turns out that it made their tears even more DELICIOUS. Second only to our Black Unicorn Tears gin. Or possibly the original.
