Featuring five unique 330 ml cans from the core range, a 5 colour craft ale 'Taste The Galaxy' tumbler, a bag of delicious beer snacks and four beer mats, all packed into a fabulous custom gift box.
So... who will receive this Medale Of Honour?
The perfect gift for any beer-loving Star Wars fan? Search your feelings you know it to be true...
If you like your coffee strong (f*cking strong no less), then what else do you really need to know? Packed and roasted at our London roastery, this powerful brew is a complex and dark-roasted blend of Brazilian and Honduran Arabica Coffee. Full-bodied and f*cking flavoursome, with powerful notes of dark treacle, cocoa and liquorice, complimented by a dense syrupy body.
Stop poisoning your body with unfulfilling freeze-dried rubbish and don't settle for whimpering brands that are afraid to give you what you really want, nay NEED. Make yourself a hot cup of F*cking Strong Coffee and kick-start your day with a potent dose of delicious caffeine-laden euphoria.
He’s no use when he’s all floppy, so fill him up with hot water before getting tucked up. Pro-tip: Tuck him down your pants to experience the thrill of having your very own obscenely large, hot dick.
He’s not just for show, it turns out the humble penis is the perfect shape for a hot water bottle, distributing that lovely warmth sideways through the balls and lengthwise through the shaft. Mmm, cosy.
Just try to ignore his weird little face and be thankful that real penises don’t have them. Mind you, if you were with a man who had a schlong that big, its little grin would be the least of your problems...
Set-up is simple and fast. Load the capacious cum-containers with whatever you want to spatter the lucky loser with. Spin the dial on the left ball to find out how many pumps you’ve got until touchdown. Do the same with the dial on the right ball to find out where you have to aim it, then pump away!
It’s basically raunchy Buckaroo, but instead of having loads of annoying plastic accessories to pick up off the floor, you just have to get stuck into a packet of wet wipes.
While no alcohol is necessary to have a ton of cheeky fun with Jizz: The Game, you can quadruple the banter by turning it into a drinking game. Take a shot every time your slutty mate takes a load to the face. Hilarious!
Or switch up your substance of choice for even more wacky ejaculation! Pour in glittery gin for a bougie blowjob, orange squash for a kinky sprinkle, or add flour and egg for the ultimate bu-cakey experience.
It’s a bit naughty, but you can handle it. Cum on, don’t be a wanker, it’s only some jizz!
This collection of funny visual puzzles has your keys hidden in a range of everyday and not-so-everyday environments. The perfect gift for anyone who’s always misplacing their keys...which is pretty much everyone, right? This search-and-find adventure will have you frantically flipping through page after page looking for those elusive keys. But be warned, if you're prone to forgetfulness, you might just misplace the book itself. Just remember to check under the sofa cushions, in the fridge, and in every handbag you own before you give up hope. Who knows, you might just find your keys and a few other things you've been missing along the way!
A super cool addition to any party, this reusable Ice Cooler bucket is moulded from ice and can be tailored to match any party theme.
If you're a fan of the beloved painter Bob Ross, then you need this bobble head in your life! This charming little figurine captures Bob's iconic look, complete with his signature afro and gentle smile.
But this bobble head isn't just a pretty face - it also plays 10 of Bob's most inspiring and witty sayings, so you can keep his words of wisdom close at hand.
And as if that wasn't enough, the set also includes a mini easel book featuring 30 of Bob's stunning landscape works, which you can display alongside the figure.
So whether you're an artist yourself, or a fan of Bob's soothing voice and positive outlook on life, or just know him from the memes, this figurine is a must-have addition to your collection.
Calling all pub quiz factfiles, prepare for the ultimate battle of brains and nerves with The Shocking Truth. Players must answer the questions correctly to win the game and avoid getting a cattle prod to the finger. Not for the faint (or pacemaker) hearted, The Shocking Truth will definitely amp up your next games night to the next level.
Turn your holiday into a LOLiday with our personalised beach towel. Superimpose your face on a hilarious choice of different bodies, from rad bod to dad bod, baby to lady, and more.
Always dreamt of having a 6-pack or fantasised about carrying a well-honed beer belly? Make that dream a reality with our Beach Bod Personalised Beach Towel!
Choose from different hilarious bodies, upload the face of your choice and we’ll do the rest.
This attention grabbing beach essential makes the perfect gift for family and friends who like to laugh at their own expense. But you can also gift it to yourself, because you absolutely deserve it.
As an added bonus, it’s theft-proof too, because who’s going to steal something with your face on it? This extra security measure means that you’ll be free to make awkward Tik Tok dance videos on the water’s edge without fear of losing your favourite new towel. #perfect
With the Loud Mouth Voice Changer at your disposal you can instantly transform even the most tedious monotone drawl into a loud and exciting voice.
Just hold this mighty megaphone up to your lips, hold down the trigger and you're ready to begin your transformation. At the flick of a switch you have three different vocal styles to experiment with - male, female and robot!
Always fancied speaking like a Dalek? Need to leave your boss a terrifying anonymous answerphone message? The world is your oyster with the Loud Mouth Voice Changer!
Using cutting-edge electromagnetic technology, this stylish geometric plant pot defies gravity and hovers your favourite houseplants in mid-air. As practical as it is attention-grabbing, the Levitos Plant Pot is designed to slowly rotate while suspended; this allows your plant to soak up sunlight from all angles and reduce lopsided growth. It's also just incredibly calming to watch!
Floating atop its classy walnut-look base, this futuristic fusion of nature and technology is the perfect statement piece for your home.
The day farts stop being funny is the day we can wrap up human civilisation and let another species like dolphins have a go.
With that in mind, this Fart Sound Box is guaranteed to bring joy into the life of anyone with a sense of humour. It includes 12 classic fart sounds, from the cheeky Squeaker to the rapid-fire Machine Gun.
So go ahead - sneak up on your grandad and let one rip!
We don't sell golden thrones or rent out teams of loyal manservants - but we know that every aspiring princess deserves their own set of fancy regal robes.
Now you can relax like royalty with our Personalised Luxury Princess Dressing Gown.
Possibly the softest, warmest, snuggliest garment in the entire known universe. Featuring a large hood (to leave room for your crown), as well as two deep pockets for all of your essentials - mobile phone, gold sceptre, share-size bag of Maltesers etc.
And that's not all, we can print the back of this luxurious dressing gown with any name you desire; your own, your kid's, your partner's - just hit the 'Personalise' button and we'll take care of the rest.
Whether you're having a sleepover with friends, settling down for a Disney marathon on the sofa, or going to get the morning papers - make sure you do it in style with our Personalised Luxury Princess Dressing Gown.
And they're therapeutic for both men and women!
For women:
When the moment strikes, just give these balls a pulverising squeeze and know that if this was real life, the owner of the testicles would be paralysed with fear and pain, dry-heaving and wishing for a swift death. What a calming thought.
For men:
Stop playing trouser billiards like a mucky little ape! It might feel wonderfully relaxing but it's horrific to watch. Keep your hands off your – in all probability – unwashed balls and relieve yourself with this rubber prosthesis instead.*
*although don't stop checking them for lumps n' that. Maybe do it in the shower.
Spicy bellend! No, it’s not an STD, it’s the organic produce from our super easy Grow A Dick Kit! This sassy little cube has a big surprise inside: spoiler alert, it’s everything you need to grow a girthy batch of capsicum annuum - AKA phallic chillies!
This is no bird-of-paradise-flower-situation, these spicy red numbers are unmistakably penile from head to shaft. Except for the little green bit on the stem, obvs. If you actually have one of those on your knob, please see a doctor, you may be at risk of being diagnosed as a plant.
All you have do to bring your willy chillies to life is open the cube and pour a little water on the pre-planted seeds. Pop it in a bright, warm place and keep watering every so often to keep them moist - in 12-18 days, you’ll be seeing a red cock rising out of the soil. Mental. In a few weeks, you could be slicing your very own scarlet bellend into a sexy stir fry! Nice.
When you’re ready to repot your plants into something more fitting (coming soon: the Firebox terracotta vagina), the magical eco-friendly cube will slowly decompose and turn into valuable coconut fibre fertiliser for the plant, enriched with all sorts of stuff that makes chillies fully erect big and handsome.
Now all you need is a pair of ginger balls to go with them for a culinary genital match made in Heaven.
This pink grapefruit-flavoured gin is made from the glittery tears of fabulous flamingos. It's a bold hit of bittersweet citrus blended with crisp and dry juniper aromas to create one seriously tasty gin. Just give it a swirl to whip up a shimmery coral-coloured haze.
Tastes delicious shaken up into a cocktail, served over ice or paired with a classic tonic.
This storm cloud was what Admiral Fitzroy used on his epic voyage with Charles Darwin aboard the HMS Beagle. In 1831. And we’ve been collectively sleeping on this advanced alien sorcery. Unbelievable.
Basically, the liquid inside the storm cloud will indicate what the weather has in store for you. It’s full of these delicate little crystals that freak out to match the weather.
We know, we were all skeptical, too. But then it started hailing and we knew before it even happened. True story.
Now you can recreate that youthful exuberance and unhinged joy from the comfort of... your toilet!
The waterproof and slip-proof Toilet Piano Mat rolls out flat to reveal a set of large, foot-friendly piano keys for you to stomp upon. Perfect for having a casual tinkle, honing your musical abilities, passing the time, or just drowning out a chorus of earth-shattering flatulence.
The creators have even thrown in a song book and handy 'Do Not Disturb' sign - you know, for when you're composing your next movement.
You need something to focus on, a relaxing task to really obsess over, you need... the Zen Garden.
After all, nothing calms the mind like raking patterns in soft sand, meticulously arranging four polished stones and attending to two tiny grass lawns. Seriously, get ready to totally fixate upon the Zen Garden and forget about all of your other troubles.
- Boss screeching in your face? Just reach for that sand rake
- Bills horrendously overdue? Shuffle around those stones for a bit
- Find out your partner's been having an affair for months? That tiny lawn could use a drop of water
You could tuck into a book with a glass of wine, surround yourself with candles and incense while listening to a podcast, binge-watch your favourite Netflix show while scoffing a bowl of M&Ms, or share an intimate bottle of Prosecco with your partner.
Made from sustainable bamboo, this smart bath caddy extends to fit all tubs and features a whole host of useful features to level up your bath times:
- A clever slot securely holds your wine glass so you can't knock it over
- The mid-section flips open to prop up books or tablets
- A recessed area looks after your soap and sponge - or a candle or two
- A pair of fold out legs transforms this bath shelf into a lap table for when you're not in the bath
Big barbarian banquets in front of a roaring fire, feasting on legs of mutton with their bare hands. Swigging on mead and planning their next plunderous voyage while beating each other up for the fun of it and bellowing drinking songs 'til dawn. Those were the days, eh?
The Viking Horn Glass is a throwback to this epic boozy era. Just fill it up with your favourite tipple, raise a hearty toast to Odin and co, then get ready to party like a Viking!
Don't let its primitive roots fool you, this curvaceous goblet is significantly classier than your average carved cow horn, it's made from soda-lime glass and holds up to 480ml of your finest ale or mead.
The horn even comes with sturdy birch wood stand so you can proudly display it on the mantel, you know, next to your sword, shield, the skulls of your enemies etc.
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