Anyway. Let this colour-changing Dungeons and Dragons D20 Light illuminate your fate, adding a soft and moody ambience to all of your tabletop adventures. It's USB-powered and made from eco-friendly plastic that breaks down at the end of its life so you can keep the real world as litter-free as your D&D one.
For huge, pivotal campaign moments you could always unplug the lamp and roll it as an actual D20 for dramatic effect!
Just look at that cute, if slightly vacant face. So much pathos in those eyes.
Sure, there's handle on the back but why not grab onto his enormous ears and drink from it like a beaker! Oh and if hot drinks aren't your thing, this lil' guy also makes an excellent planter.
One unassuming black box containing six identical gourmet milk chocolate sphincters. Each one carefully cast from the immaculate (well, we think it looks pretty tidy) anus of a kind, female stranger.
It might be the cheeky, often outlawed sex muscle but you can't deny that it's a powerful symbol of intimacy. And, given the right flavouring (in this case chocolate) the anus can be a highly decadent treat.
This is the year you open up to that special someone, spread the love, really spoil with them a spot of indulgent anal feasting. Let them know that your heart is in the right place with this thoroughly tongue-in-cheek gift.
Simply plug in the Rainbow Glitter Lava Lamp and bask in its mesmerising glow as it creates swirly, sparkling patterns all over the walls of your home.
With it's iridescent brushed metal base and cap, it's sure to brighten up your living space - even if it's turned off!
Well, technically you’ll be hitting the controller, not the console itself. But the concept remains the same.
In case you hadn’t already gathered, this is an alarm clock in the design of a PlayStation controller. What a sick gift for gamers, or even just someone who longs for the trill of an authentic alarm clock rather than their iPhone’s ‘radar’.
We’re not about to put style over substance, though. This thing is USB powered (cable included), has a reverse LED screen with a backlight and makes classic beeping alarm sounds. Truly a digital alarm clock for the ages.
There are no two ways about it – this mug is covered with hundreds of micro penises. An inspired design that casually treads the fine line between subtle abstract masterpiece and horrendous phallic overload. Is it just us or does it have a bit of a Scandi vibe going on?
Best not to overthink it – it's a cup of dicks!
But Count Gracula is different. Not only is he exceedingly cute for a vampire, but this little guy just can't get enough of the pungent stuff. Simply slip a couple of cloves into his caped body, give his head a twist (exorcist-stylee) and he'll pulverise your garlic to perfection. No more chasing cloves around the chopping board or ending up with stinky garlic fingers!
Best of all, unlike your typical clogged-up crusher, Count Gracula is dead easy to rinse out and keep clean. Terrible puns aside, he truly is a fang-tastic kitchen accessory!
Let's start with the Six chilling rocks, carved from natural stone and designed to cool your fine single malt, just like regular ice cubes, only without watering down those rich and and complex flavour notes. Just slip them into their luxury pouch and pop them in the freezer - within a couple of hours they'll be ready to go.
We've included a sophisticated set of Copper Tongs with a smart ridged edge so you can handle your ice-cold rocks with care and class. "One stone or two, sir?"
To complete this illustrious imbibing experience, the set comes with two rolling whisky tumblers. This pair of stylish 275ml glasses are designed to gently rotate without toppling your drink; the rotation helps to aerate your whisky and further enhances the flavours and aroma - plus it just looks effortlessly cool.
For our second batch, we’ve refined and improved our emotion harvesting technology, resulting in a bittersweet gin experience and an iridescent glittery appearance that will blow your mind.
To give Unicorn tears their unique taste, we humanely force-feed these beautiful beasts entire wheelbarrows of citrus fruit, oranges, juniper berries, bunches of coriander, and sticks of liquorice. We then force down this concoction with a giant glittery pestle, like fantasy foie gras, and reap the tears as they fall.
You too can now embody the purity, power and potency of nature’s most sacred steed.
To unleash their magical powers: Swirl the bottle. Behold its shimmering majesty. Consume the mythical spirit.
Escape your tedious reality and submerge your tastebuds in the smooth taste of Mermaid Tears Vodka. This sparkly spirit is made from premium French Grain Vodka and blended with the glistening tears of our line-caught Mermaid shoal.
Give the chunky bottle a swirl and, just like a Mermaid's tail whipping up the sea floor, a glittery haze will begin to disperse throughout this dreamy, ocean-blue vodka.
This mesmerising blend is delicious splashed into cocktails or served on the rocks – so go ahead, leave your boring human life behind and sip upon the shimmering tears of these sassy sirens.
You could tuck into a book with a glass of wine, surround yourself with candles and incense while listening to a podcast, binge-watch your favourite Netflix show while scoffing a bowl of M&Ms, or share an intimate bottle of Prosecco with your partner.
Made from sustainable bamboo, this smart bath caddy extends to fit all tubs and features a whole host of useful features to level up your bath times:
- A clever slot securely holds your wine glass so you can't knock it over
- The mid-section flips open to prop up books or tablets
- A recessed area looks after your soap and sponge - or a candle or two
- A pair of fold out legs transforms this bath shelf into a lap table for when you're not in the bath
Using cutting-edge electromagnetic technology, this stylish geometric plant pot defies gravity and hovers your favourite houseplants in mid-air. As practical as it is attention-grabbing, the Levitos Plant Pot is designed to slowly rotate while suspended; this allows your plant to soak up sunlight from all angles and reduce lopsided growth. It's also just incredibly calming to watch!
Floating atop its classy walnut-look base, this futuristic fusion of nature and technology is the perfect statement piece for your home.
Painful feet from a long day of being up and about all day? No need to break down and rye, wheat love to introduce you to our cosiest invention yet.
It’s Bread Shoes! (Whole-y grain, we bread your mind, just what you were after!)
Slip those knackered extremities into these soft baguettes. Or are they loaves? Either way, we can’t get enough of these buttery-soft slippers. Expertly cushioned, the podiatric bakers behind these certainly knew what they were doing.
Let’s face it, you knead these. It’s the yeast you could do for those hard-working feet of yours. P.S. We were on a roll with the puns but we’ll stop now. Crust us.
Guaranteed to elicit a chorus of 'oohs' and 'aahs' from gobsmacked guests; this attention-grabbing lamp uses the power of electromagnet induction technology to defy gravity and float majestically in mid-air. Featuring a super detailed and colourful 3D surface, it even rotates like a real planet!
With a gentle tap of the touch-sensitive base, the brightness and colour temperature can be easily adjusted to suit your environment, from a soft warm glow to a bright white light.
Looking for a new statement centrepiece? Elevate your home decor with Levitos.
Whether you're savouring the sunset on your patio, hosting a rooftop soirée, or simply dreaming of a sun-kissed Italian vacation, your personalised Aperol Spritz logo glass will induce some serious cocktail envy.
Simply personalise the glass with a name of your choice and prepare for a Spritz-filled summer.
Thanks to our new Personalised Door Mat you don't have to settle for some other brand's idea of a "hilarious" welcome message – now you can come up with your very own!
With our super simple (and fun) customiser you can add your own two lines of text to a hard-wearing velour doormat with a non-slip base. There are heaps of font styles to choose from and you can tinker around with the size and placement. It's really easy to get creative and there's a nice clear preview of your doormat at every step of the way.
We all need somewhere to wipe our feet, and with these new Personalised Door Mats you can welcome wandering guests, turn away intruders and help keep your carpets clean.
A super cool addition to any party, this reusable Ice Cooler bucket is moulded from ice and can be tailored to match any party theme.
Spicy bellend! No, it’s not an STD, it’s the organic produce from our super easy Grow A Dick Kit! This sassy little cube has a big surprise inside: spoiler alert, it’s everything you need to grow a girthy batch of capsicum annuum - AKA phallic chillies!
This is no bird-of-paradise-flower-situation, these spicy red numbers are unmistakably penile from head to shaft. Except for the little green bit on the stem, obvs. If you actually have one of those on your knob, please see a doctor, you may be at risk of being diagnosed as a plant.
All you have do to bring your willy chillies to life is open the cube and pour a little water on the pre-planted seeds. Pop it in a bright, warm place and keep watering every so often to keep them moist - in 12-18 days, you’ll be seeing a red cock rising out of the soil. Mental. In a few weeks, you could be slicing your very own scarlet bellend into a sexy stir fry! Nice.
When you’re ready to repot your plants into something more fitting (coming soon: the Firebox terracotta vagina), the magical eco-friendly cube will slowly decompose and turn into valuable coconut fibre fertiliser for the plant, enriched with all sorts of stuff that makes chillies fully erect big and handsome.
Now all you need is a pair of ginger balls to go with them for a culinary genital match made in Heaven.
If you like your coffee strong (f*cking strong no less), then what else do you really need to know? Packed and roasted at our London roastery, this powerful brew is a complex and dark-roasted blend of Brazilian and Honduran Arabica Coffee. Full-bodied and f*cking flavoursome, with powerful notes of dark treacle, cocoa and liquorice, complimented by a dense syrupy body.
Stop poisoning your body with unfulfilling freeze-dried rubbish and don't settle for whimpering brands that are afraid to give you what you really want, nay NEED. Make yourself a hot cup of F*cking Strong Coffee and kick-start your day with a potent dose of delicious caffeine-laden euphoria.
- Only upload photos with one face in them (no group photos please!)
- Photos showing more than one face may result in us having to delay or even cancel your order.
- Don't ruin Christmas by uploading photos with multiple faces in!
Just upload a photo of anyone you like and we’ll get to work crafting their lovely mug into your very own wearable blanket. This thing will jettison you into new levels of comfort, relegating your previously top-tier dressing gown to the merely ‘decent’ category. Regular blankets will never be enough for you ever again.
It’s the ideal gift for someone you miss or someone who misses you, far-flung friends and family, celebrity Stans, or just as a gift to yourself. There’s no cosier way to treat yourself.
Introducing Plant Life Support, the miniature lifelike IV drip for your houseplants! Pop it into a pot with the included stand, fill it up with water and it'll take care of the rest – slowly feeding your plant with just the right amount of water as and when it needs it.
It's the perfect gift for neglectful plant parents or for when you need to take a short trip away – especially when your neighbours are even worse than you are at looking after houseplants!
Shower his ceramic body with the included set of seeds, add a bit of water, then your work is done. Within days, a beautiful green coat will begin sprouting. Watch it bloom a bit more every day, from a bit of seedy stubble to a lush layer of green goodness.
But what happens after you’ve harvested your first batch? Pick up some more chia seeds from your supermarket and do it all over again! This llama is infinitely reusable.
Curl up on the sofa with a morphed mush of your pet’s face, or put it in their bed for meta pet-on-pet snuggling. Of course, the concept will be a bit lost on them, but we intelligent apes can have a good smirk about it.
All you have to do is upload a high quality photo and our team of pillow printing perfectionists will do the rest. Remember, no dodgy, blurry, low quality shots, or your Monster Mushion will be dodgy, blurry, and low quality too!
For maximum comedic value, we recommend getting one of these made of a chihuahua. But any pet will do, no matter how big-headed they are.