Are you bored at work? Would you rather be having a kickabout in the park with your mates? If you can’t skive off work, this penal-tea mug with a built-in football net is the next best thing.
And don’t worry - you won’t have to make a ball out of scrunched-up paper, because the mug comes with its own miniature football. All you have to do is decide what style of penalty you want to try - cheeky panenka or the run, skip and shoot favoured by Jorginho and Bruno Fernandes?
The best part is that when your manager walks by your desk and asks if you’re working on your goals, you can confidently say yes!
Want to get yourself clean, have a good meal and do whatever you feel?
Well, you’ll have to sort out your own meal (try the YMCA - it’s fun to stay there apparently), but we can offer you this fabulous rose-scented bar of soap with GAY BAR on it.
Not only will the soap make you smell lovely in no time, it’s also guaranteed to make you smile (or groan) every time you reach for it.
Where's Bob? On a mountaintop? In a wooded forest? Maybe a TV studio? Find the world's favourite painting instructor in more than a dozen unique settings within this original search-and-find activity book.
Where's Bob? includes 15 full-colour illustrated scenes to search for Bob Ross in sites reminiscent of his paintings, such as at a riverbank, the seaside, or woods, as well as settings inspired by the artist's life experiences, including a TV studio and shopping mall.
The book also invites you to find items like Peapod the squirrel, Bob's paint palette, and his paintbrush within the illustrations. Happy searching!
The aptly named ISAKOK Japanese incense sticks are a lie. Inside this cylinder is in fact a 2 and a half foot penis projectile, complete with hairy balls, that will launch itself into the face of anyone who releases it. The Cock Cannon prank gift is the perfect addition to hen parties, birthdays, or even Valentine’s Day (if you’re brave enough).
Draw a card and you’ll find a series of incomprehensible words - e.g. ‘though wok calves aim’. Say it. It sounds like ‘the walk of shame’! Don’t worry if you couldn’t work it out though, it’s written on the back of the card. Mind you, that doesn’t bode well for your performance in-game. You’ll have to tune your ears to ‘gibberish’.
With 500 cards and 3 categories to play through, you'll be mishearing stuff for years to come. It’s extremely fun, it’s exceptionally irritating, and it’s a portable game anyone can play. What more could you want?!
And they're therapeutic for both men and women!
When the moment strikes, just give these balls a pulverising squeeze and know that if this was real life, the owner of the testicles would be paralysed with fear and pain, dry-heaving and wishing for a swift death. What a calming thought.
Stop playing trouser billiards like a mucky little ape! It might feel wonderfully relaxing but it's horrific to watch. Keep your hands off your – in all probability – unwashed balls and relieve yourself with this rubber prosthesis instead.*
*although don't stop checking them for lumps n' that. Maybe do it in the shower.
Some would say that these Personalised Face Socks are a bit much, and that’s exactly why you need them in your life. Whether you want to buy a pair for yourself or as a gift for your favourite person, this delightful wardrobe accessory adds a bit of personality to the dull world of foot fashion.
Simply upload a photo of your choice (making sure it follows our printing guidelines) then our wizards will turn your image into a multi-portrait masterpiece that will make you the envy of the world.
Who better to watch over your houseplants than the environmental legend himself! A tiny David Attenborough figurine nestled among the leaves is the perfect finishing touch to your favourite potted plant. These delightful decorations capture the essence of the iconic naturalist, complete with his trademark glasses, infectious smile, and rugged explorer attire.