£9.99
Name That Bum Hole Is that a baboon's booty? A possum's posterior? Or a turtle's tush?
Based on 1 reviews 
from £9.99
Vino2Go Portable Wine Glass The Vino2Go is a double-wall, insulated travel cup perfect for pool parties, picnics and anyone interested in imbibing on the move.
Featuring an acrylic wine ‘glass’ with a floating stem, the Vino2Go maintains an ideal temperature without condensation, while the silicone lid stops serious spills and pesky bugs from dive-bombing your booze.
Available in a host of colours, it’s great for when you want to wet your whistle without the unwieldy wineglass, and drinking from the bottle isn’t appropriate.
Based on 1 reviews Featuring an acrylic wine ‘glass’ with a floating stem, the Vino2Go maintains an ideal temperature without condensation, while the silicone lid stops serious spills and pesky bugs from dive-bombing your booze.
Available in a host of colours, it’s great for when you want to wet your whistle without the unwieldy wineglass, and drinking from the bottle isn’t appropriate.
£15.99
Sloth Chia Planter Fancy doing a spot of *yawn* lazy and *stretch* laid-back indoor gardening? It couldn’t be easier (or cuter) with our new Sloth Chia Planter
Liberally sprinkle his ceramic body with the included bag of seeds, add a splash of water, then your work is done. See? Laziest bit of home gardening ever! Within a matter of days, a lush green coat will begin sprouting. Watch it bloom a bit more every day, from a bit of seedy stubble to a luxurious layer of green goodness in just 2 weeks.
But what happens after you’ve harvested your first batch of tasty seedlings? Just pick up some more chia seeds from your local supermarket and you're ready to do it all over again!
Based on 1 reviews Liberally sprinkle his ceramic body with the included bag of seeds, add a splash of water, then your work is done. See? Laziest bit of home gardening ever! Within a matter of days, a lush green coat will begin sprouting. Watch it bloom a bit more every day, from a bit of seedy stubble to a luxurious layer of green goodness in just 2 weeks.
But what happens after you’ve harvested your first batch of tasty seedlings? Just pick up some more chia seeds from your local supermarket and you're ready to do it all over again!
£12.99
World's Smallest Turntable Too scared to play all your lovely vintage vinyl in case you tarnish its resale value? What a modern problem. Luckily we’ve got a modern solution. This Teeny Tiny Turntable!
Complete with three different mini-LPs, this turntable is truly teeny, tiny, and bags of fun. Just slot one of the ‘records’ onto the pin and give it a spin to hear 70s funk, classic rock, or a bit of good ol’ fashioned jazz.
But the fun doesn’t stop there - you can even customise it using the included stickers or swot up on your music history with the included 32 page book of fun facts about the best records of all time.
It’s even better than a real record player! Certainly cheaper, anyway.
Based on 2 reviews Complete with three different mini-LPs, this turntable is truly teeny, tiny, and bags of fun. Just slot one of the ‘records’ onto the pin and give it a spin to hear 70s funk, classic rock, or a bit of good ol’ fashioned jazz.
But the fun doesn’t stop there - you can even customise it using the included stickers or swot up on your music history with the included 32 page book of fun facts about the best records of all time.
It’s even better than a real record player! Certainly cheaper, anyway.
£29.99
Phoenix Tears Spiced Rum Welcome to our latest fantastical creation: Phoenix Tears Spiced Rum – a mythical alcoholic manifestation of this ancient beast and all of its legendary powers.
We've bottled their sorrowful syrup and produced this legendary elixir so that you too can invoke all of their extraordinary magic. Leave your old life behind, sip upon these Phoenix tears and resurrect yourself with all of its confidence, beauty and grandeur – and in some rare cases, its glorious crest feathers.
Like its fabled stablemate Unicorn Tears Gin, our closely-guarded extraction methods will remain a mystery for now. Just know that we've the mixed their tears into a premium Caribbean Rum carrying aromas of brown sugar and dried fruit blended with natural cinnamon and ginger to give it a sweet and spicy flavour. It's the missing mythical ingredient in your liquor cabinet.
Just give the bottle a shake and lose yourself as the shimmering golden embers swirl through an opalescent cosmos of dark and mysterious rum.
Based on 1 reviews We've bottled their sorrowful syrup and produced this legendary elixir so that you too can invoke all of their extraordinary magic. Leave your old life behind, sip upon these Phoenix tears and resurrect yourself with all of its confidence, beauty and grandeur – and in some rare cases, its glorious crest feathers.
Like its fabled stablemate Unicorn Tears Gin, our closely-guarded extraction methods will remain a mystery for now. Just know that we've the mixed their tears into a premium Caribbean Rum carrying aromas of brown sugar and dried fruit blended with natural cinnamon and ginger to give it a sweet and spicy flavour. It's the missing mythical ingredient in your liquor cabinet.
Just give the bottle a shake and lose yourself as the shimmering golden embers swirl through an opalescent cosmos of dark and mysterious rum.
£8.99
Instant Regret Chilli Chocolate Lollipops Within this unassuming matte black bag lies the world's hottest chilli chocolate lollipop. Well, two of them – one for you and one for your equally brave and foolish friend.
These mercilessly hot Instant Regret Lollipops are infused with our signature 6.4 million Scoville extract and guaranteed to cause immense physical and mental suffering. Just for reference, the humble jalapeño is a paltry 3.5 thousand Scovilles – childs play, a walk in the park.
But even the lightest, daintiest lick of these lollipops is like plunging your tongue into the roaring fires of hell. Or knocking back a shot of fresh lava. Or sucking on a red-hot branding iron. Yum!
Soooo why not challenge a mate and see who can hold it in their mouth the longest? Seems like a perfectly rational thing to do, right?
Based on 2 reviews These mercilessly hot Instant Regret Lollipops are infused with our signature 6.4 million Scoville extract and guaranteed to cause immense physical and mental suffering. Just for reference, the humble jalapeño is a paltry 3.5 thousand Scovilles – childs play, a walk in the park.
But even the lightest, daintiest lick of these lollipops is like plunging your tongue into the roaring fires of hell. Or knocking back a shot of fresh lava. Or sucking on a red-hot branding iron. Yum!
Soooo why not challenge a mate and see who can hold it in their mouth the longest? Seems like a perfectly rational thing to do, right?
£9.99
Grow A Dick
Based on 1 reviews Spicy bellend! No, it’s not an STD, it’s the organic produce from our super easy Grow A Dick Kit! This sassy little cube has a big surprise inside: spoiler alert, it’s everything you need to grow a girthy batch of capsicum annuum - AKA phallic chillies!
This is no bird-of-paradise-flower-situation, these spicy red numbers are unmistakably penile from head to shaft. Except for the little green bit on the stem, obvs. If you actually have one of those on your knob, please see a doctor, you may be at risk of being diagnosed as a plant.
All you have do to bring your willy chillies to life is open the cube and pour a little water on the pre-planted seeds. Pop it in a bright, warm place and keep watering every so often to keep them moist - in 12-18 days, you’ll be seeing a red cock rising out of the soil. Mental. In a few weeks, you could be slicing your very own scarlet bellend into a sexy stir fry! Nice.
When you’re ready to repot your plants into something more fitting (coming soon: the Firebox terracotta vagina), the magical eco-friendly cube will slowly decompose and turn into valuable coconut fibre fertiliser for the plant, enriched with all sorts of stuff that makes chillies fully erect big and handsome.
Now all you need is a pair of ginger balls to go with them for a culinary genital match made in Heaven.
£6.99
Stressticles These are Stressticles. Stress Testicles. A lovely rubberised sack of balls to grab and manipulate to ease your anxious mind.
And they're therapeutic for both men and women!
For women:
When the moment strikes, just give these balls a pulverising squeeze and know that if this was real life, the owner of the testicles would be paralysed with fear and pain, dry-heaving and wishing for a swift death. What a calming thought.
For men:
Stop playing trouser billiards like a mucky little ape! It might feel wonderfully relaxing but it's horrific to watch. Keep your hands off your – in all probability – unwashed balls and relieve yourself with this rubber prosthesis instead.*
*although don't stop checking them for lumps n' that. Maybe do it in the shower.
Based on 1 reviews And they're therapeutic for both men and women!
For women:
When the moment strikes, just give these balls a pulverising squeeze and know that if this was real life, the owner of the testicles would be paralysed with fear and pain, dry-heaving and wishing for a swift death. What a calming thought.
For men:
Stop playing trouser billiards like a mucky little ape! It might feel wonderfully relaxing but it's horrific to watch. Keep your hands off your – in all probability – unwashed balls and relieve yourself with this rubber prosthesis instead.*
*although don't stop checking them for lumps n' that. Maybe do it in the shower.
£15.99
Loud Mouth Voice Changer Sick of the sound of your own voice? Us too. Wait, not your specific voice, we meant... never mind.
With the Loud Mouth Voice Changer at your disposal you can instantly transform even the most tedious monotone drawl into a loud and exciting voice.
Just hold this mighty megaphone up to your lips, hold down the trigger and you're ready to begin your transformation. At the flick of a switch you have three different vocal styles to experiment with - male, female and robot!
Always fancied speaking like a Dalek? Need to leave your boss a terrifying anonymous answerphone message? The world is your oyster with the Loud Mouth Voice Changer!
Based on 1 reviews With the Loud Mouth Voice Changer at your disposal you can instantly transform even the most tedious monotone drawl into a loud and exciting voice.
Just hold this mighty megaphone up to your lips, hold down the trigger and you're ready to begin your transformation. At the flick of a switch you have three different vocal styles to experiment with - male, female and robot!
Always fancied speaking like a Dalek? Need to leave your boss a terrifying anonymous answerphone message? The world is your oyster with the Loud Mouth Voice Changer!
£15.99
Chia Saurus Planter The latest breakthrough in palaeontology has revealed that the mighty Tyrannosaurus looked a little different to how we previously imagined. Sure, it still had dinky little arms, a long tail and fearsome jaws – but now we know it was also covered in a lush and luxurious green fur-coat!
Celebrate this wild new discovery and bring a little prehistoric chic into your living space with the Chia Saurus Planter.
The kit comes with everything you need, simply cover this magnificent creature with moist chia seeds - add a little water and sunlight - and he'll be blossoming with a full bushy bodysuit within 1-2 weeks!
But what happens once you’ve harvested your first batch of tasty seedlings? Just grab some more chia seeds from your local supermarket and do it all over again!
Based on 1 reviews Celebrate this wild new discovery and bring a little prehistoric chic into your living space with the Chia Saurus Planter.
The kit comes with everything you need, simply cover this magnificent creature with moist chia seeds - add a little water and sunlight - and he'll be blossoming with a full bushy bodysuit within 1-2 weeks!
But what happens once you’ve harvested your first batch of tasty seedlings? Just grab some more chia seeds from your local supermarket and do it all over again!
£39.99
Hot Ones Truth or Dab: The Game! If you've watched a few episodes of Hot Ones you'll be exceedingly familiar with 'The Last Dab'
Let's just say it's a disastrously hot eating experience - a right of passage (in every horrifying sense of the word). After the interviewees have endured an array of increasingly spicy sauces they're faced with the last Dab, the final hurdle in this ludicrous race. And now the notorious hot sauce has been turned into a game – Hot Ones Truth or Dab
Grab your most daring mates and get ready to battle your way through cringe-inducing trivia, and face up to some hard truths! With 250 cards worth of burning questions, you may find answering them less painful than suffering through a spoonful of the hottest sauce in the universe.
Want to know how to play? Give this video a lil' look - and who better to explain than Hot Ones' Sean Evans!
Based on 1 reviews Let's just say it's a disastrously hot eating experience - a right of passage (in every horrifying sense of the word). After the interviewees have endured an array of increasingly spicy sauces they're faced with the last Dab, the final hurdle in this ludicrous race. And now the notorious hot sauce has been turned into a game – Hot Ones Truth or Dab
Grab your most daring mates and get ready to battle your way through cringe-inducing trivia, and face up to some hard truths! With 250 cards worth of burning questions, you may find answering them less painful than suffering through a spoonful of the hottest sauce in the universe.
Want to know how to play? Give this video a lil' look - and who better to explain than Hot Ones' Sean Evans!
£12.99
Penis Hot Water Bottle Chilly at night? Not got a hunk to keep your bed warm? We feel ya. Shiver no more, frigid friend. This hot water bottle will keep you willy toasty even in the coldest of temperatures.
He’s no use when he’s all floppy, so fill him up with hot water before getting tucked up. Pro-tip: Tuck him down your pants to experience the thrill of having your very own obscenely large, hot dick.
He’s not just for show, it turns out the humble penis is the perfect shape for a hot water bottle, distributing that lovely warmth sideways through the balls and lengthwise through the shaft. Mmm, cosy.
Just try to ignore his weird little face and be thankful that real penises don’t have them. Mind you, if you were with a man who had a schlong that big, its little grin would be the least of your problems...
Based on 2 reviews He’s no use when he’s all floppy, so fill him up with hot water before getting tucked up. Pro-tip: Tuck him down your pants to experience the thrill of having your very own obscenely large, hot dick.
He’s not just for show, it turns out the humble penis is the perfect shape for a hot water bottle, distributing that lovely warmth sideways through the balls and lengthwise through the shaft. Mmm, cosy.
Just try to ignore his weird little face and be thankful that real penises don’t have them. Mind you, if you were with a man who had a schlong that big, its little grin would be the least of your problems...
£29.99
Two Faced Monster Mushion™ - Personalised Face Cushion Need a cuddle but your favourite person isn’t around? Snuggle an absolutely massive version of their head - or flip it around and cuddle your other favourite person on the other side, you harlot. Yes, our Monster Mushions are back, and this time it’s personal they’re two faced: one picture on either side!
It’s never been easier to get anybody’s face on a mega-sized cushion. Just upload your pictures and we'll get them on a humongous, soft cushion and pop them in the post. Make sure the photos you upload are high quality (AKA not super blurry or pixelated) and the Firebox fairies will do the rest.
The perfect gift for a big-headed pal, someone who misses you, or anyone who might like a giant snuggly double sided face to squeeze.
Based on 2 reviews It’s never been easier to get anybody’s face on a mega-sized cushion. Just upload your pictures and we'll get them on a humongous, soft cushion and pop them in the post. Make sure the photos you upload are high quality (AKA not super blurry or pixelated) and the Firebox fairies will do the rest.
The perfect gift for a big-headed pal, someone who misses you, or anyone who might like a giant snuggly double sided face to squeeze.
from £17.99
Pet Mushion™ – Personalised Pet Cushion Pay tribute to your fur babies by turning their heads into adorable personalised cushions! Upload a picture of your four-legged friend (or anyone else’s!) and we’ll turn it into a cuddleable, squishy cushion.
Curl up on the sofa with a morphed mush of your pet’s face, or put it in their bed for meta pet-on-pet snuggling. Of course, the concept will be a bit lost on them, but we intelligent apes can have a good smirk about it.
Based on 2 reviews Curl up on the sofa with a morphed mush of your pet’s face, or put it in their bed for meta pet-on-pet snuggling. Of course, the concept will be a bit lost on them, but we intelligent apes can have a good smirk about it.
£24.99
Heated Huggable Uterus Uterus?! Cuterus, more like!
Cosy up with this super soft and cuddly organ, and bask in its soothing lavender scent. It comes complete with fallopian tubes, ovaries, and a very cheeky smile!
Just pop this wondrous womb in the microwave and heat it up to take the edge off those painful cramps. And if the heat isn't giving you the fix you need, you can even freeze it for some sweet cooling relief!
We're not ovary-acting when we say it's the perfect present! Whether for your partner, your best mate, a new mum, a midwife, or just someone suffering from PMS who needs a hug. Everyone needs a cuddly uterus in their life.
Based on 1 reviews Cosy up with this super soft and cuddly organ, and bask in its soothing lavender scent. It comes complete with fallopian tubes, ovaries, and a very cheeky smile!
Just pop this wondrous womb in the microwave and heat it up to take the edge off those painful cramps. And if the heat isn't giving you the fix you need, you can even freeze it for some sweet cooling relief!
We're not ovary-acting when we say it's the perfect present! Whether for your partner, your best mate, a new mum, a midwife, or just someone suffering from PMS who needs a hug. Everyone needs a cuddly uterus in their life.
from £24.99
Personalised Doormat The Neighbours Have Better Stuff!' is an undisputed classic doormat slogan, but what if you want something that's a bit more, you know, you?
Thanks to our new Personalised Door Mat you don't have to settle for some other brand's idea of a "hilarious" welcome message – now you can come up with your very own!
With our super simple (and fun) customiser you can add your own two lines of text to a hard-wearing velour doormat with a non-slip base. There are heaps of font styles to choose from and you can tinker around with the size and placement. It's really easy to get creative and there's a nice clear preview of your doormat at every step of the way.
We all need somewhere to wipe our feet, and with these new Personalised Door Mats you can welcome wandering guests, turn away intruders and help keep your carpets clean.
Based on 1 reviews Thanks to our new Personalised Door Mat you don't have to settle for some other brand's idea of a "hilarious" welcome message – now you can come up with your very own!
With our super simple (and fun) customiser you can add your own two lines of text to a hard-wearing velour doormat with a non-slip base. There are heaps of font styles to choose from and you can tinker around with the size and placement. It's really easy to get creative and there's a nice clear preview of your doormat at every step of the way.
We all need somewhere to wipe our feet, and with these new Personalised Door Mats you can welcome wandering guests, turn away intruders and help keep your carpets clean.
£24.99
Personalised Face Doormat Get some sweet, harmless revenge with our personalised doormats. Fancy mashing your muddy creps into your mates grinning mug? Or dragging your grotty stilettos over your ex? Of course you do - and now it’s possible with our personalised doormats!
Upload a photo of anyone you want and we’ll tile it over your very own doormat. Whether it’s your best mate, your ex, your worst enemy or your favourite person, we’ll print 'em so you can step on them every time you leave or enter the house.
No matter how enthusiastic you are about caking mud into them, your doormat will remain super easy to clean - just bung it in the washing machine at 30 degrees and it’ll be good as new, ready for more vengeful shoe cleaning. Not a lot we can do if you get so angry that you wear a massive hole in it though, other than suggest a course of therapy and some yoga.
READ ME! I’M IMPORTANT!
Based on 1 reviews Upload a photo of anyone you want and we’ll tile it over your very own doormat. Whether it’s your best mate, your ex, your worst enemy or your favourite person, we’ll print 'em so you can step on them every time you leave or enter the house.
No matter how enthusiastic you are about caking mud into them, your doormat will remain super easy to clean - just bung it in the washing machine at 30 degrees and it’ll be good as new, ready for more vengeful shoe cleaning. Not a lot we can do if you get so angry that you wear a massive hole in it though, other than suggest a course of therapy and some yoga.
READ ME! I’M IMPORTANT!
- Only upload photos with one face in them (no group photos please!)
- Photos showing more than one face may result in us having to delay or even cancel your order.
- Don't ruin Christmas by uploading photos with multiple faces in!
£9.99
How To Live With A Huge Penis A quick Google search and you'll see that the average size of an erect penis is 5.1 inches. Not bad. But this book is aimed squarely at the powerful humans who vastly transcend this measurement; those exalted few who can actually testify to owning a one-eyed trouser snake, a third leg, a giant redwood, a pork sword.
How To Live With A Huge Penis explores and allays the daily struggles of this genetic marvel, with chapters covering all of the major issues including:
Based on 1 reviews How To Live With A Huge Penis explores and allays the daily struggles of this genetic marvel, with chapters covering all of the major issues including:
- Unzipping: Coming Out to Your Friends and Family
- Care and Maintenance of Your Huge Penis
- Sharing Your Pain: Sexual Intercourse with a Huge Penis
- Dealing with Discrimination
- Big Blessings: Unexpected Advantages of a Huge Penis
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