If you like your coffee strong (f*cking strong no less), then what else do you really need to know? Packed and roasted at our London roastery, this powerful brew is a complex and dark-roasted blend of Brazilian and Honduran Arabica Coffee. Full-bodied and f*cking flavoursome, with powerful notes of dark treacle, cocoa and liquorice, complimented by a dense syrupy body.
Stop poisoning your body with unfulfilling freeze-dried rubbish and don't settle for whimpering brands that are afraid to give you what you really want, nay NEED. Make yourself a hot cup of F*cking Strong Coffee and kick-start your day with a potent dose of delicious caffeine-laden euphoria.
Once you're awake, you now have a choice. Should you use this break in sleep cycles to use the toilet?
Yes you should. But the world is a dark place. Especially your bathroom. So what are your options? You can't turn the light on, that's mental. You'll be instantly and violently awake.
You could leave the lights off and try using instinct and porcelain echo feedback to find the centre of the toilet but it's way too messy. You need a 3rd way.
You need the Toilet Bowl Light.
It's light-sensitive so it will only turn on in the dark, and motion-activated so it will only light up when you walk into the bathroom at night.
It comes equipped with six colour options - single colour or cycling effect - and fits any toilet.
Now you don't need to shuffle nervously through the dark trying to avoid smashing your leg/shin against the toilet or apologise sheepishly to better halves when they inspect the erratic results of your night-time manoeuvres.
Let the Toilet Bowl Light take the toil out of the toilet.
Made from 4x heat-treated steel, it's a worthy instrument ready to be wielded by the ultimate Shinobi warrior. The well-chosen tools included are hex wrenches, a can opener/fruit peeler, bottle opener, ruler, letter opener, box opener, phone stand and a screw driver.
A sleek and agile master of stealth. You'll hardly know it's there lurking silently in the shadows of your wallet, waiting to emerge when you need it most.
We extracted the capsaicin (the hot bit) from the hottest chillies available, the resulting infusion burns like a thousand suns, and then we made delicious milk chocolate with it. Or at least, that was the plan.
If you’re the kind of seasoned curry connoisseur who asks for extra spicy, or the type to drizzle Tabasco liberally on everything, then this may well be a dream come true. However be warned, this ludicrously hot chocolate is not for the faint of heart... it’s not even really for fun. Strictly speaking, it’s probably not chocolate at all.
So just to confirm for anyone in the remotest of doubt – our Instant Regret Chocolate really is extraordinarily hot. The factory didn't really want to make it. It's fair to say that it turned out quite a bit hotter than anyone expected. Still, what is joy without pain – excruciating oral and internal pain?
Challenge yourself, and your friends. You won’t regret it.*
*Seriously, you almost certainly WILL regret it.
Cock-based confectionary at its absolute finest, these miniature members are willy delicious and the perfect mouthful for snacking on or sharing with your mates.
Some would say that these Personalised Face Socks are a bit much, and that’s exactly why you need them in your life. Whether you want to buy a pair for yourself or as a gift for your favourite person, this delightful wardrobe accessory adds a bit of personality to the dull world of foot fashion.
Simply upload a photo of your choice (making sure it follows our printing guidelines) then our wizards will turn your image into a multi-portrait masterpiece that will make you the envy of the world.
Simply upload your pictures and we'll pop them on a delightfully squishy Mushion and send them on their way to you. Make sure the photos you choose are clear and not blurry or super pixellated - your Mushions will only be as good as the photos you submit.
What will you get on yours? Happy face and sad face? You and your partner? Your friend and their dog? Mum and dad? Your two best mates? Phillip Schofield and Holly Willoughby? The possibilities are endless!
Gone are the worries of your motor smelling of last night's takeaway or that incident that got a bit sweaty on the backseat. With these personalised air fresheners, not only will your car have a delightful sea scent, it will also make you smile every time you look in the rear view mirror.
Creating it is simple; decide on the photos you want, one for the front and a different one for the back, make sure they’re high quality and zoomed in nice and close. Each face will cover one side so both drivers and passers by can enjoy your weird choice in car accessories.
Stuck for ideas? Why not choose a picture of your Mum to remind you not to ruin her 5 years no-claims bonus? Maybe one of your mates so that you're never riding solo? Or torture yourself with a pic of your celebrity crush, knowing that’s as close as you’ll ever get.
There’s no doubts about it, this bit of kit is gonna be your new best friend. The iDream Smart Eye Massager is designed to apply calming pressure and soothing heat to help alleviate the strain caused by excessive screen time and not enough sleep. And, unlike an actual (selfish) masseuse, it doesn’t need breaks or food. By encouraging blood circulation and blood vessel dilation, iDream can even help reduce dark circles, puffiness and dry eyes. It’s also got bluetooth so you can have your own tunes delivered straight to your ears to help you relax.
Whether it’s for home cooking or big garden parties, this Personalised Face Cooking Apron will lighten the mood when you inevitably overcook the steaks. You can add any face you like from your own to your giftee’s celeb crush, just upload the pic and we’ll take care of the rest!
Never battle with crowds, struggle for a seat, or have to hang about outside on the pavement just to enjoy your favourite beer again! The Fizzics DraftPour gives you nitro-style draft beer from ANY can or bottle. Even the cheapest economy lager can be instantly transformed into a luxurious draft pint with just one pull of the lever.
The DraftPour may be a sleek piece of kit, but it's deceptively high tech under the hood, applying sound waves to convert your beer's natural carbonation into a smooth micro-foam. These diddy little bubbles create the optimal density for enhanced aroma, flavour, and a silky smooth mouth-feel.
Get a fruit machine and a few boxes of pork scratchings in and you’ve basically completely replicated your local pub. Sticky bar-top and ancient, dubiously-stained carpet not included.
These genius Post-Poo Toilet Bombs will save a few blushes the next time you need to send a sausage to the seaside. Simply unload your timber, flush, then pop a bomb or two in the toilet bowl. The fresh, fruity orange scent eliminates offensive odours so you can waltz out of the toilet guilt-free.
If you’re a serial stinker, you can pop a couple in your pocket for those awkward restaurant/bar/gym moments when you’ve got a brown trout to liberate and there’s someone behind you in the queue. Post-Poo Toilet Bombs also make the perfect gift for those known stinkers who think that saying “I wouldn’t go in there for a while” is enough to justify wilting all the flowers within a 50 metre radius.
The bodhug Weighted Body Wrap uses the relaxing properties of gentle weight to loosen up tight shoulder, neck and back areas. The deep pressure from the weighted collar relaxes and stabilises the muscles which means less trips to the masseuse. Unlike an actual masseuse, the body wrap doesn’t care if you’ve shaved, make you wear those weird paper pants, or ask you awkward questions in a whispery voice - and best of all, you can wear it anywhere!
When there’s danger a’foot’, what you need is a pair of personalised superhero socks to save the day. Whether you have a supermum, superhusband, or superBFF, our high quality, personalisable socks will make the perfect present for your loved one.
Simply choose the size and style, then upload a picture of your choosing (one that matches our print requirements) and our wizards will turn your image into superhero socks.
Complete with three different mini-LPs, this turntable is truly teeny, tiny, and bags of fun. Just slot one of the ‘records’ onto the pin and give it a spin to hear 70s funk, classic rock, or a bit of good ol’ fashioned jazz.
But the fun doesn’t stop there - you can even customise it using the included stickers or swot up on your music history with the included 32 page book of fun facts about the best records of all time.
It’s even better than a real record player! Certainly cheaper, anyway.
Just imagine those faces, merrily tiled across your neatly wrapped gifts, and the joy on your recipient’s faces as they notice and think to themselves, “Wow, [YOUR NAME HERE] sure is a generous, creative, hilarious specimen. I might give them all my money/propose to them/buy them a new car/write an album of songs about how lovely they are/wash all of their dishes forever.”
Why drink out of something that doesn’t have your face on it when you could be drinking out of something that does have your face on it? Or, even better, your mate’s face on it! Or your dog’s face? We’re not fussy.
No matter who you’ve got in mind, we’ll slap their face on a mug for you - an extra fancy heat change mug that makes their glorious image appear when you add hot water. Can any of your other mugs make your dad appear out of thin air? Didn’t think so.
Simply upload your picture and our magic tool will show you what the finished product will look like. Then, sit back, have a cuppa in one of your inferior mugs, and wait for your stunning new facey one to arrive.
All you have to do is pick out eight of your favourite photos (no easy feat, we know), upload them using our customiser, and we'll print them on a super soft and fluffy microfibre towel.
With our simple customisation process you can easily arrange your pics and even overlay a couple of lines of text to compliment them. There's a large range of font styles and background colours to choose from so it's super easy to get creative, plus there's a nice clear preview of your towel at every step of the way.
These unusual boozy infusions are made using hand-roasted Colombian Arabica beans and come in two equally indulgent flavours:
Smooth and smoky sophistication in a coffee cup. All of the rich, oaky character of a cask-aged whisky, perfectly balanced with mellow notes of vanilla and dark forest fruits.
Not just sugar, spice, and everything nice. This dark rum-infused coffee perfectly captures the real essence of the Caribbean spirit; with warm notes of toasted sugar, spiced caramel and a hint of smoked, dark chocolate.
Best of all, they're alcohol-free so you can enjoy them any time!
Celebrate this wild new discovery and bring a little prehistoric chic into your living space with the Chia Saurus Planter.
The kit comes with everything you need, simply cover this magnificent creature with moist chia seeds - add a little water and sunlight - and he'll be blossoming with a full bushy bodysuit within 1-2 weeks!
But what happens once you’ve harvested your first batch of tasty seedlings? Just grab some more chia seeds from your local supermarket and do it all over again!
Tall glasses, short glasses, tulip glasses, dimpled glasses; they say there's a glass for every type of beer and occasion. But what about a special beer glass created just for you?
With our new Personalised Beer Stein, your favourite brew has never tasted sweeter!
This premium tankard has a classy frosted finish for that mouthwatering 'fresh from the cooler' look and features a sturdy, trigger-style handle for easy holding (and hearty cheers-ing).
Just hit the 'Personalise' button to add a cheeky message of your choice (up to 60 characters spread across 4 lines, bad beer puns are hoptional). It could be a special date, the name of your Best Man, a classic quote, a birthday message – you name it, we'll print it.
Cheers to that!
If someone you know loves plants but can't seem to keep them alive for more than a week, then this quirky Mini Plant Life Support will inject a bit of life into their smaller houseplants. Don't worry, there are no needles involved, just put the tube peg into the soil and the plant will water itself!