We're piously proud to present Inflatable Jesus, a 100% accurate replica messiah in all his beardy, robed greatness. Sure he's only 50cm tall but people were a lot shorter back in those days.
Okay so depending on your disposition this may not be the best bedroom light feature - but it is the perfectly terrifying accessory to brighten up your halloween party or slasher movie night sessions!
Illuminated by energy-efficient LEDs, this detailed 3D replica is powered by USB or batteries so you can pop this spine-chilling lamp anywhere you please - you know, like peeking out between the curtains of your bedroom window to freak out the neighbours.
Seriously. If lockdown taught us anything - there's absolutely nothing wrong with keeping the curtains closed, ordering the second Deliveroo of the day and tucking into another Netflix series, all while still in your PJs. Living. The. Dream.
And now you can have a little potato-y companion to add a soft ambient light to your easy-going living space! He's battery-powered so you can pop him anywhere, and he's got a 1-hour auto shut-down function - a bit like you on a Friday night after a few beverages and a cheeky takeaway!
Draw a card and you’ll find a series of incomprehensible words - e.g. ‘though wok calves aim’. Say it. It sounds like ‘the walk of shame’! Don’t worry if you couldn’t work it out though, it’s written on the back of the card. Mind you, that doesn’t bode well for your performance in-game. You’ll have to tune your ears to ‘gibberish’.
With 500 cards and 3 categories to play through, you'll be mishearing stuff for years to come. It’s extremely fun, it’s exceptionally irritating, and it’s a portable game anyone can play. What more could you want?!
We extracted the capsaicin (the hot bit) from the hottest chillies available, the resulting infusion burns like a thousand suns, and then we made delicious milk chocolate with it. Or at least, that was the plan.
If you’re the kind of seasoned curry connoisseur who asks for extra spicy, or the type to drizzle Tabasco liberally on everything, then this may well be a dream come true. However be warned, this ludicrously hot chocolate is not for the faint of heart... it’s not even really for fun. Strictly speaking, it’s probably not chocolate at all.
So just to confirm for anyone in the remotest of doubt – our Instant Regret Chocolate really is extraordinarily hot. The factory didn't really want to make it. It's fair to say that it turned out quite a bit hotter than anyone expected. Still, what is joy without pain – excruciating oral and internal pain?
Challenge yourself, and your friends. You won’t regret it.*
*Seriously, you almost certainly WILL regret it.
A birthday card like no other, treat your loved ones to a gift they'll always remember. Because they wont have a choice. Because it never stops playing. Give them the gift of a permanent ear-worm combined with extreme mental anguish. Don't worry, there's a safety tab so you can sign the card and test it before the fun begins.
Once opened, the Never-ending Birthday Card continues to play for up to three whole hours (though the one we foolishly tested played for five!). The music gets even louder if they try pressing the button inside to stop it, heck they can submerge the card in water – this relentless beast just keeps on jingling. Best of all, when the lucky recipient finally reaches breaking point and tries to rip into the card to destroy its circuitry they'll be greeted with a merciless explosion of glitter.
Needless to say, this is the best prank birthday card in existence.
Word to the wise:
- This card arrives packaged and needs to be opened and signed first before gifting
- Send it to yourself first before giving it to your unfortunate recipient
Liberally sprinkle his ceramic body with the included bag of seeds, add a splash of water, then your work is done. See? Laziest bit of home gardening ever! Within a matter of days, a lush green coat will begin sprouting. Watch it bloom a bit more every day, from a bit of seedy stubble to a luxurious layer of green goodness in just 2 weeks.
But what happens after you’ve harvested your first batch of tasty seedlings? Just pick up some more chia seeds from your local supermarket and you're ready to do it all over again!
Freak yourself out in the shower with this Blood Bath Shower Gel Looks terrifying in its intravenous bag, but the cherry fragrance smells delicious.
There’s good news and bad news.
Bad news first: the guys at the unicorn farm messed up and fed half of our majestic mares a diet of juicy fat raspberries.
The good news? Turns out that it made their tears even more DELICIOUS. Second only to our Black Unicorn Tears gin. Or possibly the original.
This storm cloud was what Admiral Fitzroy used on his epic voyage with Charles Darwin aboard the HMS Beagle. In 1831. And we’ve been collectively sleeping on this advanced alien sorcery. Unbelievable.
Basically, the liquid inside the storm cloud will indicate what the weather has in store for you. It’s full of these delicate little crystals that freak out to match the weather.
We know, we were all skeptical, too. But then it started hailing and we knew before it even happened. True story.