Penis Themed Presents for Your Cock-Mad Companion
Penis themed gifts are a Firebox classic. You’ve clicked on this article, which means you’re one of us — a proud, immature legend who can’t resist a quality dick joke.
From phallic hot water bottles and penis pillows to rude puzzles and cheeky party games, these funny penis presents are guaranteed to get a laugh (and probably a raised eyebrow).
The Best Penis Themed Gifts on the Internet (Probably)
We’ve rounded up five of our favourite penis themed presents to tickle your funny bone — and possibly a few other things. You’ll find even more gloriously inappropriate ideas in our NSFW Gift Collection, so don’t blow your budget all at once.
If you’re tempted to splurge early, just think of something boring like socks or candles — then come back and choose a gift that’ll actually make your mate choke with laughter.
Discover our wide selection of Christmas Gifts for the UK
1. Penis Hot Water Bottle – £14.99
It’s pretty chilly outside, and what better way to keep the blood flowing than with a willy-shaped hot water bottle? This cosy cock themed gift can keep its warm load in for hours, so there will never be any disappointment.
2. Spot the Cock Activity Book – £8.99
Train the eye to spot a dick from an impressive distance with this engaging activity book. If your partner has a long commute or works as a professional schlong-spotter then they’re going to love this perfect penis themed gift.
3. Penis Pasta – £4.99
Cultivate your own edible Italian Stallions with this easy-to-cook penis pasta; an excellent talking point when guests come round for dinner, and a genius comeback when someone tells you to ‘stop being a dick’.
4. The Impossible Penis Puzzle – £19.99
In this game it’s definitely not how you use it that counts. This Jigsaw puzzle covered with 200 hilarious penis illustrations so if you think you have seen all that penis’s have to offer, then think again.
N.B. Probably not one to bring to grandma’s game night.
5. Pierre the Penis Pillow – £19.99
The cutest chode around, Pierre is here for your comfort and pleasure; and when he says he “just wants to cuddle” he actually means it. Like them bigger? There’s a jumbo version to satisfy even the most insatiable appetites in our full collection.
There’s a penis-themed present for everyone*
*everyone that isn’t a blood relative
Just like the penis itself, our fun, phallic gifts come in all shapes and sizes, so whether you’re looking for a gift for your girlfriend, boyfriend, best friend or spouse, make sure to browse our full NSFW collection. It’s bursting with even more penis-themed gifts and a whole bunch of unconventional phallus-free presents too.
