Our Valentine’s Gift Guide for Girls will make you look good
You’ve had your ups and downs; she drives you mental at times. You regularly stay up at night wondering how something that sheds so much hair isn’t completely bald from head to toe. She also wears your clothes and annoyingly looks better in them, and appears to be taking over your bathroom with enough creams to moisturise the entire elephant population of Africa.
But then again, she’s much nicer to strangers than you are, she always smells like summer holidays, and she makes you laugh when you need it most. She’s a keeper for sure, but how to find a gift that is as unique as she is?
Quirky Valentine’s Day Gift Ideas for Your Wonder Woman
If you’re only in the initial throws of a relationship, your Valentine’s Day gift can be a bit of a minefield. If you get her something crap for the first gift, what the hell are the rest gonna be like? If, however, you’ve been in a relationship forever, then you’ve probably run out of ideas by now and are currently preparing to bore her to death with carnations and a personalised card with a badly cropped picture of you guys that you stole from her Facebook page.
Before you make a terrible decision that you can’t undo, we have put together a Valentine’s Day Gift Guide for girls that’s gonna make you look like a gift-buying genius. Check it out below, and if you like what you see, head over to our full Valentine’s gift collection to browse more brilliance!
Firebox’s Valentine’s Day Gift Guide for Women
1. Bath Noodles – £10.99
The bath product industry is saturated (puns always intended) with creams and lotions, salts and bombs. Be different this Valentine’s Day when you gift your lady these super cool bath noodles. She can turn her bath into a relaxing ramen and soak like a cute lil’ carrot.
2. Grow a Dick – £6.59 (40% off!)
If she likes things a little bit spicy, then these dick-shaped chillies will go down a treat. The plant comes in a handy grow kit that she can nurture until it reaches full ripeness, at which point she can chop them all off and put them in her dinner. Delish.
3. I F*cking Love You Mug – £9.99
Sometimes just saying ‘I love you’ isn’t enough, better to put a ‘f*ck’ in there to really hammer the point home. From coffee to Cup-a-Soup, make sure she always knows how you really feel when you bestow this foul-mouthed mug on Valentine’s Day.
4. Heated Huggable Uterus – £22.99
Whether your partner has painful periods or your missus is a midwife, this cute uterus will brighten her day. Pop it in the freezer or the microwave for all levels of relief, then inhale its lavender scent for maximum relaxation.
5. Valentine’s Day Mystery Box – £34.99
You’ve gotten to the stage in your relationship where you openly fart around each other, the mystery is dying fast. Resuscitate the enigma of the early days with our Valentine’s Day Mystery Box, it’s packed full of romantic presents that’ll add some much needed excitement to the day.
6. Spot the Cock – £8.99
Being able to identify a penis hidden amongst random objects is an underrated skill. Make sure she gets some practice with this essential activity book; the perfect gift for amateur and professional cock-spotters alike.
7. Tayto The Couch Potato Giant Plush – £32.99
As random as it is adorable, this plush potato is the best companion for your partner when you’re not around. Unlike actual potatoes, this Tayto plush is super soft and huggable. Just don’t try and eat it, because WHY WOULD YOU EAT A GIANT PLUSH TOY?
8. Little Bao Dumpling Light – £19.99
Sticking with the cute and random theme, this little soup dumpling light will add some serious cuteness factor to your girl’s desk or bedside table. It’s squishy too, so it’s irresistible to touch. But, again, don’t try and eat it because WHY WOULD YOU EAT A LAMP?
9. Personalised Toblerone – £12.99
Put down the generic box of chocolates and get something with a more personal touch when you customise a giant Toblerone. Add a name or message of your choice and we’ll print it onto the packaging for a gift that’s thoughtful and edible.
10. Personalised Heart Cancake – £12.99
We’re putting the ‘tin’ in Valentine’s Day with these cute and quirky cancakes. Personalise the label with a photo and message, then watch as she devours it straight from the can, no baking needed. This quality cake is handmade in Germany with no additives, stabilisers or other bad stuff.
A Valentine’s Day Gift Guide for Geeky Girlfriends and Weirdo Wives
Is your better half a bit of a one-off? No problem at all, there’s nothing too niche when it comes to our Valentine’s Day present ideas. From huggable uteruses to cake in a can, we hope our ridiculously imaginative gift guide has inspired you. If so, make sure to head over to our full Valentine’s collection for women to see what else we have in store. Save those braincells for the dinner date conversation, we’ve got the gift covered and we’re totally cool with you taking all the credit for it.