They saunter over to your desk, they gaze at your screen ponderously, their eyes slowly scanning the spreadsheet. After a few short moments they confidently reach for your laptop, highlight a few cells and then BANG. A split-second keyboard shortcut and your problem is solved. Blink and you'd miss it.
"There you go, all done" they say with a cheeky wink and a sympathetic pat as they moonwalk back to their desk.
With the mighty Excel Shortcut Mug at your disposal, you too can possess this powerful spreadsheet wizardry, you'll wonder how you ever functioned without it.
PS. Google Sheets is for wimps.
The aptly named ISAKOK Japanese incense sticks are a lie. Inside this cylinder is in fact a 2 and a half foot penis projectile, complete with hairy balls, that will launch itself into the face of anyone who releases it. The Cock Cannon prank gift is the perfect addition to hen parties, birthdays, or even Valentine’s Day (if you’re brave enough).
This magical gin liqueur is bursting with juicy blackberries, plump spicy juniper berries, fat bouquets of verdant coriander and glistening sticks of liquorice - not forgetting the sparkly fragments of the galaxy that crashed down to Earth to be ingested by these majestic beasts.
It’s true, shooting stars are packed full of glitter. The amount of shimmery stuff doubles when naturally processed by sad unicorns. The sorrow of having to munch their way through crispy space rocks before they can resume their normal diet increases the potency of glitter and deliciousness. That’s just #science.
Swish this around, watch the gorgeous glittery galaxy swirl into action like a holographic milky way, and give thanks to the unicorns who cried so that you might party hard.
Liberally sprinkle his ceramic body with the included bag of seeds, add a splash of water, then your work is done. See? Laziest bit of home gardening ever! Within a matter of days, a lush green coat will begin sprouting. Watch it bloom a bit more every day, from a bit of seedy stubble to a luxurious layer of green goodness in just 2 weeks.
But what happens after you’ve harvested your first batch of tasty seedlings? Just pick up some more chia seeds from your local supermarket and you're ready to do it all over again!
Snuggle up with Pierre and rest your head on his lovely soft shaft - or keep him on your desk to make your colleagues INSTANTLY contact HR to voice their concerns. Treat yourself to this adorable addition to your plush collection - because you’re girth it.
Please note: this is not an accurate to scale version of a human penis. Thank god.