Whether it’s for home cooking or big garden parties, this Personalised Face Cooking Apron will lighten the mood when you inevitably overcook the steaks. You can add any face you like from your own to your giftee’s celeb crush, just upload the pic and we’ll take care of the rest!
This ingenious floating gizmo projects several seriously psychedelic multicoloured light sequences onto the bottom and sides of the bath. It's truly hypnotic, especially as the pulsating effects are distorted by the water in the tub. Put on some suitably upbeat music, dim the main light and strike that classic legs apart, arm in the air pose and you could be in Studio 54, albeit nude and soaked in hot water. Not such a bad thing in our book.
Battery-operated and water resistant, the Underwater Disco Lightshow features a button that changes the patterns (some subdued, some dynamic), so you can alter the mood in an instant. What's more its curvaceous shape causes the lights to reach out to every corner of the bath. If you're feeling really decadent you could even plop this plastic doodah in your pool, pond or hot tub. Water based shenanigans will never be the same again.
The Underwater Disco Lightshow has been a real hit here at Firebox HQ. In fact we're standing here wrapped in towels having just emerged from our communal bath/disco. Invigorating? We spent the whole multicoloured soak thinking up water-based disco classics to shoehorn into this description. Sadly we could only come up with Car Splosh, Heaven Must Be Missing A Plughole and a few tunes by Splashford and Simpson. Suggestions welcome.
Whether you're chilling out or getting ready for a night on the tiles (no, not the bathroom tiles), this incredible device is guaranteed to add a mesmerising kaleidoscope of light to bathtime. So don't just sit in the tub twiddling your pruning thumbs; order an Underwater Disco Lightshow and Blame it on the Bathtub!
While you're curled up in your PJs, binge-watching another Netflix series, ordering takeaway for the fourth day in a row (living the dream) – he'll be there by your side, adding his own brand of soft and lazy lighting to the scene.
He's touch-sensitive and made from super squishy silicone so you can just give him a gentle tap or prod to switch between three different levels of brightness. And because he runs on a rechargeable battery you can keep him powered up with the included USB cable and pop him on the sofa next to you. Aww.
Thank you couch potato!
Take two of life's greatest pleasures – casually sipping a tumbler's worth of delicious booze and enjoying a damn fine cup of Joe – then combine them into one glorious hot drink and you've got our Spirited Coffee.
These unusual boozy infusions are made using hand-roasted Colombian Arabica beans and come in two equally indulgent flavours:
Smooth and smoky sophistication in a coffee cup. All of the rich, oaky character of a cask-aged whisky, perfectly balanced with mellow notes of vanilla and dark forest fruits.
Not just sugar, spice, and everything nice. This dark rum-infused coffee perfectly captures the real essence of the Caribbean spirit; with warm notes of toasted sugar, spiced caramel and a hint of smoked, dark chocolate.
Sinfully delicious, this amaretto flavour coffee has a subtle bitterness with notes of vanilla, almonds and sweet candied cherry. Sweet and mild with a hint bitterness.
Drink cold as an indulgent iced-coffee in summer or pour over vanilla ice cream for an out-of-this-world affogato.
Best of all, they're alcohol-free so you can enjoy them any time!
If you like your coffee strong (f*cking strong no less), then what else do you really need to know? Packed and roasted at our London roastery, this powerful brew is a complex and dark-roasted blend of Brazilian and Honduran Arabica Coffee. Full-bodied and f*cking flavoursome, with powerful notes of dark treacle, cocoa and liquorice, complimented by a dense syrupy body.
Stop poisoning your body with unfulfilling freeze-dried rubbish and don't settle for whimpering brands that are afraid to give you what you really want, nay NEED. Make yourself a hot cup of F*cking Strong Coffee and kick-start your day with a potent dose of delicious caffeine-laden euphoria.
Snuggle up with Pierre and rest your head on his lovely soft shaft - or keep him on your desk to make your colleagues INSTANTLY contact HR to voice their concerns. Treat yourself to this adorable addition to your plush collection - because you’re girth it.
Please note: this is not an accurate to scale version of a human penis. Thank god.
We've bottled their sorrowful syrup and produced this legendary elixir so that you too can invoke all of their extraordinary magic. Leave your old life behind, sip upon these Phoenix tears and resurrect yourself with all of its confidence, beauty and grandeur – and in some rare cases, its glorious crest feathers.
Like its fabled stablemate Unicorn Tears Gin, our closely-guarded extraction methods will remain a mystery for now. Just know that we've the mixed their tears into a premium Caribbean Rum carrying aromas of brown sugar and dried fruit blended with natural cinnamon and ginger to give it a sweet and spicy flavour. It's the missing mythical ingredient in your liquor cabinet.
Just give the bottle a shake and lose yourself as the shimmering golden embers swirl through an opalescent cosmos of dark and mysterious rum.
Thanks to the revolutionary polymer compound that its made from, this advanced silicone material grips everything from iPads to Sat Navs. Just slap it on your dashboard, desk or wall and place your items on top. As if by magic, your possessions will defy the forces of nature and be held in place – it's an incredibly satisfying miracle of modern science to behold.
Resistant to water, high temperatures and sunlight, it’s perfectly at home wherever you choose to put it. And it never needs replenishing either – when the stickiness begins to wear off, just wipe it with a damp towel and it’ll be as good as new. We're pretty sure that this doesn't apply to geckos though.
Naked Ramblers are way ahead of the curve, one day we'll all be doing it.
For now, you can dress up your houseplants with this cheeky set of free-loving explorers – a butt-naked reminder to get closer to nature. Oh and to make sure you do some occasional pruning.
You don’t deserve that. So we made them cry, then we bottled their aching sadness.
All that sweet retribution turned their salty tears into a juicy passion fruit and mango flavoured shimmering gin liqueur with a 20% ABV. It’s the perfect partner for prosecco or tonic water and a slice of grapefruit. Swirl their tears around your glass to unlock their magnificent holographic shimmer, reassured at least a few f*ckboy's were harmed in the making of this mythical elixir.
Warning: drinking too much of this may lead to rogue ex-texting. Be on your guard.
Made from 4x heat-treated steel, it's a worthy instrument ready to be wielded by the ultimate Shinobi warrior. The well-chosen tools included are hex wrenches, a can opener/fruit peeler, bottle opener, ruler, letter opener, box opener, phone stand and a screw driver.
A sleek and agile master of stealth. You'll hardly know it's there lurking silently in the shadows of your wallet, waiting to emerge when you need it most.
Cat-Astrophe has one aim: you stack the cats.
There’s no timer, you can take as long as you need.
They who stacks the cats the highest wins. It’s that simple. Anyone can play this. Kids and adults. Strangers and best mates. Big groups or on your own. Dumb people and clever people. People who hate games and people who love games. People who don’t speak the same language and people who do. Cat lovers get to play with tiny little adorable vinyl cats, cat haters get to see the tower inevitably topple. What’s not to love?
Once you're awake, you now have a choice. Should you use this break in sleep cycles to use the toilet?
Yes you should. But the world is a dark place. Especially your bathroom. So what are your options? You can't turn the light on, that's mental. You'll be instantly and violently awake.
You could leave the lights off and try using instinct and porcelain echo feedback to find the centre of the toilet but it's way too messy. You need a 3rd way.
You need the Toilet Bowl Light.
It's light-sensitive so it will only turn on in the dark, and motion-activated so it will only light up when you walk into the bathroom at night.
It comes equipped with six colour options - single colour or cycling effect - and fits any toilet.
Now you don't need to shuffle nervously through the dark trying to avoid smashing your leg/shin against the toilet or apologise sheepishly to better halves when they inspect the erratic results of your night-time manoeuvres.
Let the Toilet Bowl Light take the toil out of the toilet.
Celebrate the evolution of female pubic hair - in all of its beautiful forms - with the Muff Mug!
Featuring illustrations of 'classic' styles from au natural to waxes, vajazzles and beyond.
Simply chuck one of these powerful bombs into hot milk and BOOM. No, not an explosion, but the thick Belgian milk chocolate slowly melts to create the perfect decadent cup of cocoa. There are three gourmet varieties to choose from - White Chocolate, Milk Chocolate, and a Great Taste Award-winning Vegan Dark Chocolate!
And that’s not even the best bit! Each hot chocolate bombe is filled to the brim with miniature marshmallows for an extra lick of soft, pillowy sweetness. Hot chocolate doesn’t get better (or easier) than this!
We extracted the capsaicin (the hot bit) from the hottest chillies available, the resulting infusion burns like a thousand suns, and then we made delicious milk chocolate with it. Or at least, that was the plan.
If you’re the kind of seasoned curry connoisseur who asks for extra spicy, or the type to drizzle Tabasco liberally on everything, then this may well be a dream come true. However be warned, this ludicrously hot chocolate is not for the faint of heart... it’s not even really for fun. Strictly speaking, it’s probably not chocolate at all.
So just to confirm for anyone in the remotest of doubt – our Instant Regret Chocolate really is extraordinarily hot. The factory didn't really want to make it. It's fair to say that it turned out quite a bit hotter than anyone expected. Still, what is joy without pain – excruciating oral and internal pain?
Challenge yourself, and your friends. You won’t regret it.*
*Seriously, you almost certainly WILL regret it.