£9.99
World's Smallest Turntable Too scared to play all your lovely vintage vinyl in case you tarnish its resale value? What a modern problem. Luckily we’ve got a modern solution. This Teeny Tiny Turntable!
Complete with three different mini-LPs, this turntable is truly teeny, tiny, and bags of fun. Just slot one of the ‘records’ onto the pin and give it a spin to hear 70s funk, classic rock, or a bit of good ol’ fashioned jazz.
But the fun doesn’t stop there - you can even customise it using the included stickers or swot up on your music history with the included 32 page book of fun facts about the best records of all time.
It’s even better than a real record player! Certainly cheaper, anyway.
Based on 2 reviews Complete with three different mini-LPs, this turntable is truly teeny, tiny, and bags of fun. Just slot one of the ‘records’ onto the pin and give it a spin to hear 70s funk, classic rock, or a bit of good ol’ fashioned jazz.
But the fun doesn’t stop there - you can even customise it using the included stickers or swot up on your music history with the included 32 page book of fun facts about the best records of all time.
It’s even better than a real record player! Certainly cheaper, anyway.
£15.99
Chia Saurus Planter The latest breakthrough in palaeontology has revealed that the mighty Tyrannosaurus looked a little different to how we previously imagined. Sure, it still had dinky little arms, a long tail and fearsome jaws – but now we know it was also covered in a lush and luxurious green fur-coat!
Celebrate this wild new discovery and bring a little prehistoric chic into your living space with the Chia Saurus Planter.
The kit comes with everything you need, simply cover this magnificent creature with moist chia seeds - add a little water and sunlight - and he'll be blossoming with a full bushy bodysuit within 1-2 weeks!
But what happens once you’ve harvested your first batch of tasty seedlings? Just grab some more chia seeds from your local supermarket and do it all over again!
Based on 1 reviews Celebrate this wild new discovery and bring a little prehistoric chic into your living space with the Chia Saurus Planter.
The kit comes with everything you need, simply cover this magnificent creature with moist chia seeds - add a little water and sunlight - and he'll be blossoming with a full bushy bodysuit within 1-2 weeks!
But what happens once you’ve harvested your first batch of tasty seedlings? Just grab some more chia seeds from your local supermarket and do it all over again!
£14.99
Face Wrap - Personalised Gift Wrap Put an end to ‘Now, who’s this present for?’ with our fabulous Face Wrap. We’ll put any face you want on some wrapping paper and you can put your feet up knowing that you’ll be the centre of attention on Christmas Day. Sound like a deal?
Just imagine those faces, merrily tiled across your neatly wrapped gifts, and the joy on your recipient’s faces as they notice and think to themselves, “Wow, [YOUR NAME HERE] sure is a generous, creative, hilarious specimen. I might give them all my money/propose to them/buy them a new car/write an album of songs about how lovely they are/wash all of their dishes forever.”
Based on 1 reviews Just imagine those faces, merrily tiled across your neatly wrapped gifts, and the joy on your recipient’s faces as they notice and think to themselves, “Wow, [YOUR NAME HERE] sure is a generous, creative, hilarious specimen. I might give them all my money/propose to them/buy them a new car/write an album of songs about how lovely they are/wash all of their dishes forever.”
from £6.99
Grip Strip Like the clinging feet of a tenacious gecko, the Grip Strip will hold just about anything in place. And all without a single magnet, velcro strip, or sticky adhesive in sight.
Thanks to the revolutionary polymer compound that its made from, this advanced silicone material grips everything from iPads to Sat Navs. Just slap it on your dashboard, desk or wall and place your items on top. As if by magic, your possessions will defy the forces of nature and be held in place – it's an incredibly satisfying miracle of modern science to behold.
Resistant to water, high temperatures and sunlight, it’s perfectly at home wherever you choose to put it. And it never needs replenishing either – when the stickiness begins to wear off, just wipe it with a damp towel and it’ll be as good as new. We're pretty sure that this doesn't apply to geckos though.
Based on 2 reviews Thanks to the revolutionary polymer compound that its made from, this advanced silicone material grips everything from iPads to Sat Navs. Just slap it on your dashboard, desk or wall and place your items on top. As if by magic, your possessions will defy the forces of nature and be held in place – it's an incredibly satisfying miracle of modern science to behold.
Resistant to water, high temperatures and sunlight, it’s perfectly at home wherever you choose to put it. And it never needs replenishing either – when the stickiness begins to wear off, just wipe it with a damp towel and it’ll be as good as new. We're pretty sure that this doesn't apply to geckos though.
£13.99
The Scratch & Sniff Book of Weed The Scratch & Sniff Book of Weed is a sensory trip into the world of the green stuff.
Filled with 20 stirring scratch n' sniff scent pads, this chunky cardboard book explores the rich history and evolution of this wondrous drug. Covering all topics from the science behind the munchies (it's very real), the botanical link between beer and weed, and why smoking cannabis makes Pink Floyd sound so damned good.
Entertaining, informative (did you know you could nibble or sniff peppercorns to reduce the paranoia? Incredible.) and beautifully-illustrated — it's the perfect gift for total pot heads or those with just a little cannabis curiosity.
Based on 2 reviews Filled with 20 stirring scratch n' sniff scent pads, this chunky cardboard book explores the rich history and evolution of this wondrous drug. Covering all topics from the science behind the munchies (it's very real), the botanical link between beer and weed, and why smoking cannabis makes Pink Floyd sound so damned good.
Entertaining, informative (did you know you could nibble or sniff peppercorns to reduce the paranoia? Incredible.) and beautifully-illustrated — it's the perfect gift for total pot heads or those with just a little cannabis curiosity.
£39.99
Rise & Shine Luxury Coffee Kit
Based on 1 reviews Give your brew the 5-start treatment with the Rise & Shine Luxury Coffee Kit, a fancy-shmancy 3-piece set containing a filter, scoop and ceramic mug. If you know someone who takes their coffee verrrry seriously, then this will add a bit of magic to their mornings.
£9.99
Wacky Waving Inflatable Tube Guy WACKY WAVING INFLATABLE ARM-FLAILING TUBE MAN.
Ahem.
Now that we’ve got that out of the way, let’s get down to business. Everyone’s favourite marketing tool has been miniaturised (or shrunkled, to use the technical term) down to fit on your desk. Now YOU can enjoy 18 inches of wacky waving inflatable arm-flailing tube man fun in the comfort of your own home.
“But does he manically flail just like the real thing?”
Of course he does, you beautiful fool. This battery powered masterpiece goes all over the place. He’s uncontrollable. Wiggling. Shimmying. Shaking like a toddler after some original recipe Sunny Delight. He wouldn’t be a real wacky waving inflatable arm-flailing tube man without waving and flailing. He’d merely be a wacky inflatable tube man, and that’s no fun at all.
But the fun doesn't stop there! Get your reading glasses out and discover the incredible origins of the wacky, wacky tube man in the fascinating 32-page mini book included with your very own wacky tube man. Yay, education!
Fun Fact: This wacky waving tube man wasn’t always known by that name - he was originally called The Tall Boy.
Based on 1 reviews Ahem.
Now that we’ve got that out of the way, let’s get down to business. Everyone’s favourite marketing tool has been miniaturised (or shrunkled, to use the technical term) down to fit on your desk. Now YOU can enjoy 18 inches of wacky waving inflatable arm-flailing tube man fun in the comfort of your own home.
“But does he manically flail just like the real thing?”
Of course he does, you beautiful fool. This battery powered masterpiece goes all over the place. He’s uncontrollable. Wiggling. Shimmying. Shaking like a toddler after some original recipe Sunny Delight. He wouldn’t be a real wacky waving inflatable arm-flailing tube man without waving and flailing. He’d merely be a wacky inflatable tube man, and that’s no fun at all.
But the fun doesn't stop there! Get your reading glasses out and discover the incredible origins of the wacky, wacky tube man in the fascinating 32-page mini book included with your very own wacky tube man. Yay, education!
Fun Fact: This wacky waving tube man wasn’t always known by that name - he was originally called The Tall Boy.
£12.99
Naked Ramblers Mini Planters What could be more liberating than a naked stroll in the woods with your nudist pals? Nothing but a nap-sack full of sandwiches on your back, fresh air circulating around your nether regions, just being at one with nature...
Naked Ramblers are way ahead of the curve, one day we'll all be doing it.
For now, you can dress up your houseplants with this cheeky set of free-loving explorers – a butt-naked reminder to get closer to nature. Oh and to make sure you do some occasional pruning.
Based on 1 reviews Naked Ramblers are way ahead of the curve, one day we'll all be doing it.
For now, you can dress up your houseplants with this cheeky set of free-loving explorers – a butt-naked reminder to get closer to nature. Oh and to make sure you do some occasional pruning.
£15.99
Llama Chia Pet Fancy doing a spot of indoor gardening? It couldn’t be easier (or cuter) with this adorable llama planter.
Shower his ceramic body with the included set of seeds, add a bit of water, then your work is done. Within days, a beautiful green coat will begin sprouting. Watch it bloom a bit more every day, from a bit of seedy stubble to a lush layer of green goodness.
But what happens after you’ve harvested your first batch? Pick up some more chia seeds from your supermarket and do it all over again! This llama is infinitely reusable.
Based on 1 reviews Shower his ceramic body with the included set of seeds, add a bit of water, then your work is done. Within days, a beautiful green coat will begin sprouting. Watch it bloom a bit more every day, from a bit of seedy stubble to a lush layer of green goodness.
But what happens after you’ve harvested your first batch? Pick up some more chia seeds from your supermarket and do it all over again! This llama is infinitely reusable.
£9.99
Name That Bum Hole Is that a baboon's booty? A possum's posterior? Or a turtle's tush?
Based on 1 reviews 
£9.99
Cat - Astrophe Some games make you wade through a veritable War-And-Peace-length tome of rules before you can even begin setting up the board. Not this one.
Cat-Astrophe has one aim: you stack the cats.
That’s it.
There’s no timer, you can take as long as you need.
They who stacks the cats the highest wins. It’s that simple. Anyone can play this. Kids and adults. Strangers and best mates. Big groups or on your own. Dumb people and clever people. People who hate games and people who love games. People who don’t speak the same language and people who do. Cat lovers get to play with tiny little adorable vinyl cats, cat haters get to see the tower inevitably topple. What’s not to love?
Based on 1 reviews Cat-Astrophe has one aim: you stack the cats.
That’s it.
There’s no timer, you can take as long as you need.
They who stacks the cats the highest wins. It’s that simple. Anyone can play this. Kids and adults. Strangers and best mates. Big groups or on your own. Dumb people and clever people. People who hate games and people who love games. People who don’t speak the same language and people who do. Cat lovers get to play with tiny little adorable vinyl cats, cat haters get to see the tower inevitably topple. What’s not to love?
£9.99
Racing Floaters
Based on 1 reviews No need to retrieve these fecal floating fellas from your bathtub. These adorable racing floaters are a solid source of bathtime entertainment, just wind them up and watch the little turbo-charged turds race across the water.
£6.99
How To Swear In Sign Language In the immortal words of Ronan Keating – "You say it best, when you say nothing at all"
We've all flipped the bird or a cheeky V, and most of the time that's all the situation requires – a mad moment of road rage, a useless co-worker leaving the room etc.
But if you yearn to expand your gesticular vocabulary, you need to get your hands on How To Swear In Sign Language.
This handy set of cue cards introduces 100 vulgar hand gestures; each one comes with simple illustrated instructions so you'll be signing Shit for Brains, Eat a Dick, Fuck Face and Cock-topus in no time.
Based on 2 reviews We've all flipped the bird or a cheeky V, and most of the time that's all the situation requires – a mad moment of road rage, a useless co-worker leaving the room etc.
But if you yearn to expand your gesticular vocabulary, you need to get your hands on How To Swear In Sign Language.
This handy set of cue cards introduces 100 vulgar hand gestures; each one comes with simple illustrated instructions so you'll be signing Shit for Brains, Eat a Dick, Fuck Face and Cock-topus in no time.
£24.99
Beat That! Perform a couple of deep lunges, crack your knuckles and get ready to bounce, flip, stack, hop, roll, blow, balance and catapult your way to victory! Suffice to say, Beat That! is not your typical party game.
You win points by betting on your own ability to successfully complete a series of ridiculous dexterity-based challenges. "What sort of challenges?" we hear you squeal! Words can only begin to describe the fast and frantic fun so give this short video a watch and it'll tell you everything you need to know.
The game includes 160 playfully daft tasks and each player attempts the same challenge so get ready to smugly declare "Beat that!"
It only takes a couple of minutes to learn and guarantees hours and hours of entertainment.
Based on 1 reviews You win points by betting on your own ability to successfully complete a series of ridiculous dexterity-based challenges. "What sort of challenges?" we hear you squeal! Words can only begin to describe the fast and frantic fun so give this short video a watch and it'll tell you everything you need to know.
The game includes 160 playfully daft tasks and each player attempts the same challenge so get ready to smugly declare "Beat that!"
It only takes a couple of minutes to learn and guarantees hours and hours of entertainment.
£12.99
Full Bottle Wine Glass What do you buy the wine aficionado with everything? Copious amounts of wine would be the obvious answer. But we don't do obvious. And neither should you! So allow us to present this epic Full Bottle Wine Glass.
Wine glasses have always held a deceptively large amount of wine, but this impressive receptacle can stow away an entire bottle - a whole 750ml of the finest boozy grape juice you can get your hands on!
It's the perfect gift for those sensible types who insist on sticking to 'just' one glass of wine.
Based on 1 reviews Wine glasses have always held a deceptively large amount of wine, but this impressive receptacle can stow away an entire bottle - a whole 750ml of the finest boozy grape juice you can get your hands on!
It's the perfect gift for those sensible types who insist on sticking to 'just' one glass of wine.
£24.99
Face Mat - Personalised Doormat Get some sweet, harmless revenge with our personalised doormats. Fancy mashing your muddy creps into your mates grinning mug? Or dragging your grotty stilettos over your ex? Of course you do - and now it’s possible with our personalised doormats!
Upload a photo of anyone you want and we’ll tile it over your very own doormat. Whether it’s your best mate, your ex, your worst enemy or your favourite person, we’ll print 'em so you can step on them every time you leave or enter the house.
No matter how enthusiastic you are about caking mud into them, your doormat will remain super easy to clean - just bung it in the washing machine at 30 degrees and it’ll be good as new, ready for more vengeful shoe cleaning. Not a lot we can do if you get so angry that you wear a massive hole in it though, other than suggest a course of therapy and some yoga.
READ ME! I’M IMPORTANT!
Based on 1 reviews Upload a photo of anyone you want and we’ll tile it over your very own doormat. Whether it’s your best mate, your ex, your worst enemy or your favourite person, we’ll print 'em so you can step on them every time you leave or enter the house.
No matter how enthusiastic you are about caking mud into them, your doormat will remain super easy to clean - just bung it in the washing machine at 30 degrees and it’ll be good as new, ready for more vengeful shoe cleaning. Not a lot we can do if you get so angry that you wear a massive hole in it though, other than suggest a course of therapy and some yoga.
READ ME! I’M IMPORTANT!
- Only upload photos with one face in them (no group photos please!)
- Photos showing more than one face may result in us having to delay or even cancel your order.
- Don't ruin Christmas by uploading photos with multiple faces in!
£14.99
F**K The Game Yellow. Orange. P*ssy. Purple. Sh*t. Green...no wait...F**K!!
That's a short excerpt from a typical round of F**K The Game – the party card game that combines colours and swear words with good old-fashioned psychological mind-f*ckery.
Here's how to play:
Players take turns to flip over a card and yell out what they see. Depending on the nature of the card, you might have to say the background colour, the text colour or a swear word. You keep turning cards over and shouting until someone f*cks up and picks up the pile. The winner is the first player to get rid of all their cards.
It sounds relatively straightforward, but the cards employ a psychological phenomenon known as the 'Stroop effect'. In short, it massively messes with your head and slows down your brain's responses. No matter how quick-witted you think you are, this game will catch you out.
There are three extended instructions cards so once you’ve mastered the basics you can take the game to the next level by introducing a whole host of new rules – you can even create your own.
Based on 1 reviews That's a short excerpt from a typical round of F**K The Game – the party card game that combines colours and swear words with good old-fashioned psychological mind-f*ckery.
Here's how to play:
Players take turns to flip over a card and yell out what they see. Depending on the nature of the card, you might have to say the background colour, the text colour or a swear word. You keep turning cards over and shouting until someone f*cks up and picks up the pile. The winner is the first player to get rid of all their cards.
It sounds relatively straightforward, but the cards employ a psychological phenomenon known as the 'Stroop effect'. In short, it massively messes with your head and slows down your brain's responses. No matter how quick-witted you think you are, this game will catch you out.
There are three extended instructions cards so once you’ve mastered the basics you can take the game to the next level by introducing a whole host of new rules – you can even create your own.
£15.99
Penis Hot Water Bottle Chilly at night? Not got a hunk to keep your bed warm? We feel ya. Shiver no more, frigid friend. This hot water bottle will keep you willy toasty even in the coldest of temperatures.
He’s no use when he’s all floppy, so fill him up with hot water before getting tucked up. Pro-tip: Tuck him down your pants to experience the thrill of having your very own obscenely large, hot dick.
He’s not just for show, it turns out the humble penis is the perfect shape for a hot water bottle, distributing that lovely warmth sideways through the balls and lengthwise through the shaft. Mmm, cosy.
Just try to ignore his weird little face and be thankful that real penises don’t have them. Mind you, if you were with a man who had a schlong that big, its little grin would be the least of your problems...
Based on 1 reviews He’s no use when he’s all floppy, so fill him up with hot water before getting tucked up. Pro-tip: Tuck him down your pants to experience the thrill of having your very own obscenely large, hot dick.
He’s not just for show, it turns out the humble penis is the perfect shape for a hot water bottle, distributing that lovely warmth sideways through the balls and lengthwise through the shaft. Mmm, cosy.
Just try to ignore his weird little face and be thankful that real penises don’t have them. Mind you, if you were with a man who had a schlong that big, its little grin would be the least of your problems...
£29.99
Unicorn Tears Gin Liqueur This gin liqueur contains real Unicorn tears. Created by Firebox in a secret location, using our free range Unicorn herd and closely-guarded extraction process (patent pending).
For our second batch, we’ve refined and improved our emotion harvesting technology, resulting in a bittersweet gin experience and an iridescent glittery appearance that will blow your mind.
To give Unicorn tears their unique taste, we humanely force-feed these beautiful beasts entire wheelbarrows of citrus fruit, oranges, juniper berries, bunches of coriander, and sticks of liquorice. We then force down this concoction with a giant glittery pestle, like fantasy foie gras, and reap the tears as they fall.
You too can now embody the purity, power and potency of nature’s most sacred steed.
To unleash their magical powers: Swirl the bottle. Behold its shimmering majesty. Consume the mythical spirit.
Based on 3 reviews For our second batch, we’ve refined and improved our emotion harvesting technology, resulting in a bittersweet gin experience and an iridescent glittery appearance that will blow your mind.
To give Unicorn tears their unique taste, we humanely force-feed these beautiful beasts entire wheelbarrows of citrus fruit, oranges, juniper berries, bunches of coriander, and sticks of liquorice. We then force down this concoction with a giant glittery pestle, like fantasy foie gras, and reap the tears as they fall.
You too can now embody the purity, power and potency of nature’s most sacred steed.
To unleash their magical powers: Swirl the bottle. Behold its shimmering majesty. Consume the mythical spirit.
£29.99
Unicorn Tears Blackberry Gin Liqueur You might’ve heard: the guys at the unicorn farm messed up. Our herd of unicorns got fed a diet of fallen stars, causing their tears to be black, shimmery and delicious.
This magical gin liqueur is bursting with juicy blackberries, plump spicy juniper berries, fat bouquets of verdant coriander and glistening sticks of liquorice - not forgetting the sparkly fragments of the galaxy that crashed down to Earth to be ingested by these majestic beasts.
It’s true, shooting stars are packed full of glitter. The amount of shimmery stuff doubles when naturally processed by sad unicorns. The sorrow of having to munch their way through crispy space rocks before they can resume their normal diet increases the potency of glitter and deliciousness. That’s just #science.
Swish this around, watch the gorgeous glittery galaxy swirl into action like a holographic milky way, and give thanks to the unicorns who cried so that you might party hard.
Based on 2 reviews This magical gin liqueur is bursting with juicy blackberries, plump spicy juniper berries, fat bouquets of verdant coriander and glistening sticks of liquorice - not forgetting the sparkly fragments of the galaxy that crashed down to Earth to be ingested by these majestic beasts.
It’s true, shooting stars are packed full of glitter. The amount of shimmery stuff doubles when naturally processed by sad unicorns. The sorrow of having to munch their way through crispy space rocks before they can resume their normal diet increases the potency of glitter and deliciousness. That’s just #science.
Swish this around, watch the gorgeous glittery galaxy swirl into action like a holographic milky way, and give thanks to the unicorns who cried so that you might party hard.
from £17.99
Pet Mushion™ – Personalised Pet Cushion Pay tribute to your fur babies by turning their heads into adorable personalised cushions! Upload a picture of your four-legged friend (or anyone else’s!) and we’ll turn it into a cuddleable, squishy cushion.
Curl up on the sofa with a morphed mush of your pet’s face, or put it in their bed for meta pet-on-pet snuggling. Of course, the concept will be a bit lost on them, but we intelligent apes can have a good smirk about it.
Based on 2 reviews Curl up on the sofa with a morphed mush of your pet’s face, or put it in their bed for meta pet-on-pet snuggling. Of course, the concept will be a bit lost on them, but we intelligent apes can have a good smirk about it.
£8.99
Post-Poo Toilet Bombs
Based on 1 reviews These genius Post-Poo Toilet Bombs will save a few blushes the next time you need to send a sausage to the seaside. Simply unload your timber, flush, then pop a bomb or two in the toilet bowl. The fresh, fruity orange scent eliminates offensive odours so you can waltz out of the toilet guilt-free.
If you’re a serial stinker, you can pop a couple in your pocket for those awkward restaurant/bar/gym moments when you’ve got a brown trout to liberate and there’s someone behind you in the queue. Post-Poo Toilet Bombs also make the perfect gift for those known stinkers who think that saying “I wouldn’t go in there for a while” is enough to justify wilting all the flowers within a 50 metre radius.
£12.99
Plant Life Support We've lost count of the number of plants we've accidentally sacrificed over the years. Not enough water, too much water – we'd like to claim it's the plants being picky but we know we're wholly responsible for their pathetic demise.
Introducing Plant Life Support, the miniature lifelike IV drip for your houseplants! Pop it into a pot with the included stand, fill it up with water and it'll take care of the rest – slowly feeding your plant with just the right amount of water as and when it needs it.
It's the perfect gift for neglectful plant parents or for when you need to take a short trip away – especially when your neighbours are even worse than you are at looking after houseplants!
Based on 1 reviews Introducing Plant Life Support, the miniature lifelike IV drip for your houseplants! Pop it into a pot with the included stand, fill it up with water and it'll take care of the rest – slowly feeding your plant with just the right amount of water as and when it needs it.
It's the perfect gift for neglectful plant parents or for when you need to take a short trip away – especially when your neighbours are even worse than you are at looking after houseplants!
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