Novelty Gifts
$11.99
4 /5
Heart Hand Warmers
Based on 2 reviews (2) Defrost your frozen fingers with these practical (and adorable) Heart Hand Warmers. Also makes a great gift for that one person in your life who’s always cold.
$12.95
4.8 /5
Llama Pocket Pal Warmer Stop trying to squash your hot water bottle into your coat pockets and start toting this little fella around. He’s light, he’s cute, what more could you want? Oh, and he keeps your hands as toasty as a mug of hot chocolate would. Can’t forget to mention that bit.
Stash this cosy little llama in your pockets and you’ll never have cold fingers again. It’s like hiding your fingers in the crimped-looking fur of a real one, high up in the Andes with only a poncho to keep the rest of you warm. Not that that’s anything other than a mad stereotype.
Simply microwave him before you head out and he’ll keep your fingers functional better than a pair of gloves. Give him a squeeze when you feel the frost encroaching and you’ll never be numb-handed again!
Based on 59 reviews (59) Stash this cosy little llama in your pockets and you’ll never have cold fingers again. It’s like hiding your fingers in the crimped-looking fur of a real one, high up in the Andes with only a poncho to keep the rest of you warm. Not that that’s anything other than a mad stereotype.
Simply microwave him before you head out and he’ll keep your fingers functional better than a pair of gloves. Give him a squeeze when you feel the frost encroaching and you’ll never be numb-handed again!
$9.95
4.7 /5
The Beardy Bib Cleaning up after you've finished shaving is a thankless task. Try as you might, you can never quite gather up all of those stray hairs – and it seemingly only takes a solitary whisker resting on a bar of soap or nestled innocently next to a toothbrush to cause hours of heated debate.
Let's look at the options...
Slip on The Beard Buddy and put an end to this madness. This giant bib straps comfortably around your neck while the two suction cups attach to the mirror, creating a large safety net to catch your fallen trimmings.
If you're interrupted mid-shave; simply untie the neck straps, hook them onto the levers on the back of the suction cups and your bristles will remain safely in the bib until you return. Once you're finished just gather the bib together and empty it carefully into the bin.
Whether you're a regular beard shaver yourself or you know someone with particularly untidy grooming habits; for the sake of bathroom surfaces everywhere, buy The Beard Buddy. As the creators of this life-changing product say – with great facial hair comes great responsibility.
Based on 26 reviews (26) Let's look at the options...
- Spend 10 minutes scraping around the sink and still not getting all of the hairs?
- Trim your beard over the bathroom floor and (maybe) hoover it up later?
- Shave on the edge of the toilet with a bin between your legs?
- Pop down to the local park with a pocket mirror?
Slip on The Beard Buddy and put an end to this madness. This giant bib straps comfortably around your neck while the two suction cups attach to the mirror, creating a large safety net to catch your fallen trimmings.
If you're interrupted mid-shave; simply untie the neck straps, hook them onto the levers on the back of the suction cups and your bristles will remain safely in the bib until you return. Once you're finished just gather the bib together and empty it carefully into the bin.
Whether you're a regular beard shaver yourself or you know someone with particularly untidy grooming habits; for the sake of bathroom surfaces everywhere, buy The Beard Buddy. As the creators of this life-changing product say – with great facial hair comes great responsibility.
$14.99
5 /5
Micro Penis Mug "What a curiously patterned mu... oh it's a load of tiny dicks."
There are no two ways about it – this mug is covered with hundreds of micro penises. An inspired design that casually treads the fine line between subtle abstract masterpiece and horrendous phallic overload. Is it just us or does it have a bit of a Scandi vibe going on?
Best not to overthink it – it's a cup of dicks!
Based on 18 reviews (18) There are no two ways about it – this mug is covered with hundreds of micro penises. An inspired design that casually treads the fine line between subtle abstract masterpiece and horrendous phallic overload. Is it just us or does it have a bit of a Scandi vibe going on?
Best not to overthink it – it's a cup of dicks!
$14.95
4.7 /5
Count Gracula We know, we know. Vampires and garlic?! Next, we'll be selling Dracula-themed UV lights and crucifixes!
But Count Gracula is different. Not only is he exceedingly cute for a vampire, but this little guy just can't get enough of the pungent stuff. Simply slip a couple of cloves into his caped body, give his head a twist (exorcist-stylee) and he'll pulverise your garlic to perfection. No more chasing cloves around the chopping board or ending up with stinky garlic fingers!
Best of all, unlike your typical clogged-up crusher, Count Gracula is dead easy to rinse out and keep clean. Terrible puns aside, he truly is a fang-tastic kitchen accessory!
Based on 16 reviews (16) But Count Gracula is different. Not only is he exceedingly cute for a vampire, but this little guy just can't get enough of the pungent stuff. Simply slip a couple of cloves into his caped body, give his head a twist (exorcist-stylee) and he'll pulverise your garlic to perfection. No more chasing cloves around the chopping board or ending up with stinky garlic fingers!
Best of all, unlike your typical clogged-up crusher, Count Gracula is dead easy to rinse out and keep clean. Terrible puns aside, he truly is a fang-tastic kitchen accessory!
$12.99
5 /5
Full Bottle Wine Glass What do you buy the wine aficionado with everything? Copious amounts of wine would be the obvious answer. But we don't do obvious. And neither should you! So allow us to present this epic Full Bottle Wine Glass.
Wine glasses have always held a deceptively large amount of wine, but this impressive receptacle can stow away an entire bottle - a whole 750ml of the finest boozy grape juice you can get your hands on!
It's the perfect gift for those sensible types who insist on sticking to 'just' one glass of wine.
Based on 1 reviews (1) Wine glasses have always held a deceptively large amount of wine, but this impressive receptacle can stow away an entire bottle - a whole 750ml of the finest boozy grape juice you can get your hands on!
It's the perfect gift for those sensible types who insist on sticking to 'just' one glass of wine.
$15.99
4.7 /5
Lil' Nitro - The World's HOTTEST Gummy Bear Right now you might be wondering why you only get one single gummy bear in the box. Just one?! But once you've tasted Lil' Nitro there'll be no doubt in your mind – only fear, regret and panic caused by the crazy pain you're experiencing!
Put simply, Lil' Nitro is the hottest gummy bear in the whole world This innocent-looking sweet treat has been infused with a 9 million Scoville chilli extract, making it 900 times hotter than a Jalapeño pepper.
Based on 3 reviews (3) Put simply, Lil' Nitro is the hottest gummy bear in the whole world This innocent-looking sweet treat has been infused with a 9 million Scoville chilli extract, making it 900 times hotter than a Jalapeño pepper.
$12.99
5 /5
Wacky Waving Inflatable Tube Guy WACKY WAVING INFLATABLE ARM-FLAILING TUBE MAN.
Ahem.
Now that we’ve got that out of the way, let’s get down to business. Everyone’s favourite marketing tool has been miniaturised (or shrunkled, to use the technical term) down to fit on your desk. Now YOU can enjoy 18 inches of wacky waving inflatable arm-flailing tube man fun in the comfort of your own home.
“But does he manically flail just like the real thing?”
Of course he does, you beautiful fool. This battery powered masterpiece goes all over the place. He’s uncontrollable. Wiggling. Shimmying. Shaking like a toddler after some original recipe Sunny Delight. He wouldn’t be a real wacky waving inflatable arm-flailing tube man without waving and flailing. He’d merely be a wacky inflatable tube man, and that’s no fun at all.
But the fun doesn't stop there! Get your reading glasses out and discover the incredible origins of the wacky, wacky tube man in the fascinating 32-page mini book included with your very own wacky tube man. Yay, education!
Fun Fact: This wacky waving tube man wasn’t always known by that name - he was originally called The Tall Boy.
Based on 1 reviews (1) Ahem.
Now that we’ve got that out of the way, let’s get down to business. Everyone’s favourite marketing tool has been miniaturised (or shrunkled, to use the technical term) down to fit on your desk. Now YOU can enjoy 18 inches of wacky waving inflatable arm-flailing tube man fun in the comfort of your own home.
“But does he manically flail just like the real thing?”
Of course he does, you beautiful fool. This battery powered masterpiece goes all over the place. He’s uncontrollable. Wiggling. Shimmying. Shaking like a toddler after some original recipe Sunny Delight. He wouldn’t be a real wacky waving inflatable arm-flailing tube man without waving and flailing. He’d merely be a wacky inflatable tube man, and that’s no fun at all.
But the fun doesn't stop there! Get your reading glasses out and discover the incredible origins of the wacky, wacky tube man in the fascinating 32-page mini book included with your very own wacky tube man. Yay, education!
Fun Fact: This wacky waving tube man wasn’t always known by that name - he was originally called The Tall Boy.
$12.99
4 /5
Cat - Astrophe Some games make you wade through a veritable War-And-Peace-length tome of rules before you can even begin setting up the board. Not this one.
Cat-Astrophe has one aim: you stack the cats.
That’s it.
There’s no timer, you can take as long as you need.
They who stacks the cats the highest wins. It’s that simple. Anyone can play this. Kids and adults. Strangers and best mates. Big groups or on your own. Dumb people and clever people. People who hate games and people who love games. People who don’t speak the same language and people who do. Cat lovers get to play with tiny little adorable vinyl cats, cat haters get to see the tower inevitably topple. What’s not to love?
Based on 2 reviews (2) Cat-Astrophe has one aim: you stack the cats.
That’s it.
There’s no timer, you can take as long as you need.
They who stacks the cats the highest wins. It’s that simple. Anyone can play this. Kids and adults. Strangers and best mates. Big groups or on your own. Dumb people and clever people. People who hate games and people who love games. People who don’t speak the same language and people who do. Cat lovers get to play with tiny little adorable vinyl cats, cat haters get to see the tower inevitably topple. What’s not to love?
$12.99
5 /5
Racing Floaters
Based on 1 reviews (1) No need to retrieve these fecal floating fellas from your bathtub. These adorable racing floaters are a solid source of bathtime entertainment, just wind them up and watch the little turbo-charged turds race across the water.
$12.99
5 /5
How To Live With A Huge Penis A quick Google search and you'll see that the average size of an erect penis is 5.1 inches. Not bad. But this book is aimed squarely at the powerful humans who vastly transcend this measurement; those exalted few who can actually testify to owning a one-eyed trouser snake, a third leg, a giant redwood, a pork sword.
How To Live With A Huge Penis explores and allays the daily struggles of this genetic marvel, with chapters covering all of the major issues including:
Based on 1 reviews (1) How To Live With A Huge Penis explores and allays the daily struggles of this genetic marvel, with chapters covering all of the major issues including:
- Unzipping: Coming Out to Your Friends and Family
- Care and Maintenance of Your Huge Penis
- Sharing Your Pain: Sexual Intercourse with a Huge Penis
- Dealing with Discrimination
- Big Blessings: Unexpected Advantages of a Huge Penis
$10.99
5 /5
Worlds Smallest Dancing Jesus Your own, personal, Jesus. Someone who's really small, havin' a ball.
Not our finest introduction. Anyway. Worlds Smallest Dancing Jesus – he can heal the sick, he can walk on water, but can he cure your two left feet?
Sure he can! This is a miniature bobbling messiah we're talking about! He might look like he's doing 'The Carlton' but Jesus has a whole host of signature moves that are now yours to master, featuring:
Based on 1 reviews (1) Not our finest introduction. Anyway. Worlds Smallest Dancing Jesus – he can heal the sick, he can walk on water, but can he cure your two left feet?
Sure he can! This is a miniature bobbling messiah we're talking about! He might look like he's doing 'The Carlton' but Jesus has a whole host of signature moves that are now yours to master, featuring:
- The Water Walk
- The Cheek Turn
- The Temptation
- The Carpenter Clog
$12.99
4.8 /5
Underwater Disco Lightshow 'Young man, there's no need to just scrub. I said young man, when you're bored in the tub. I said young man, you can sit there and blub, but it's fun to have a disco!' So sang a certain village-dwelling disco supergroup. Well, almost. The point being, disco-ing in the bath is truly entertaining. But how do you transform your bath into a disco without short-circuiting your mirrorballs? Easy, you buy the Underwater Disco Lightshow.
This ingenious floating gizmo projects several seriously psychedelic multicoloured light sequences onto the bottom and sides of the bath. It's truly hypnotic, especially as the pulsating effects are distorted by the water in the tub. Put on some suitably upbeat music, dim the main light and strike that classic legs apart, arm in the air pose and you could be in Studio 54, albeit nude and soaked in hot water. Not such a bad thing in our book.
Battery-operated and water resistant, the Underwater Disco Lightshow features a button that changes the patterns (some subdued, some dynamic), so you can alter the mood in an instant. What's more its curvaceous shape causes the lights to reach out to every corner of the bath. If you're feeling really decadent you could even plop this plastic doodah in your pool, pond or hot tub. Water based shenanigans will never be the same again.
The Underwater Disco Lightshow has been a real hit here at Firebox HQ. In fact we're standing here wrapped in towels having just emerged from our communal bath/disco. Invigorating? We spent the whole multicoloured soak thinking up water-based disco classics to shoehorn into this description. Sadly we could only come up with Car Splosh, Heaven Must Be Missing A Plughole and a few tunes by Splashford and Simpson. Suggestions welcome.
Whether you're chilling out or getting ready for a night on the tiles (no, not the bathroom tiles), this incredible device is guaranteed to add a mesmerising kaleidoscope of light to bathtime. So don't just sit in the tub twiddling your pruning thumbs; order an Underwater Disco Lightshow and Blame it on the Bathtub!
Based on 8 reviews (8) This ingenious floating gizmo projects several seriously psychedelic multicoloured light sequences onto the bottom and sides of the bath. It's truly hypnotic, especially as the pulsating effects are distorted by the water in the tub. Put on some suitably upbeat music, dim the main light and strike that classic legs apart, arm in the air pose and you could be in Studio 54, albeit nude and soaked in hot water. Not such a bad thing in our book.
Battery-operated and water resistant, the Underwater Disco Lightshow features a button that changes the patterns (some subdued, some dynamic), so you can alter the mood in an instant. What's more its curvaceous shape causes the lights to reach out to every corner of the bath. If you're feeling really decadent you could even plop this plastic doodah in your pool, pond or hot tub. Water based shenanigans will never be the same again.
The Underwater Disco Lightshow has been a real hit here at Firebox HQ. In fact we're standing here wrapped in towels having just emerged from our communal bath/disco. Invigorating? We spent the whole multicoloured soak thinking up water-based disco classics to shoehorn into this description. Sadly we could only come up with Car Splosh, Heaven Must Be Missing A Plughole and a few tunes by Splashford and Simpson. Suggestions welcome.
Whether you're chilling out or getting ready for a night on the tiles (no, not the bathroom tiles), this incredible device is guaranteed to add a mesmerising kaleidoscope of light to bathtime. So don't just sit in the tub twiddling your pruning thumbs; order an Underwater Disco Lightshow and Blame it on the Bathtub!
